Part 2 Healing and Wholeness for Alters
Next Part The Horror of Being a Child Alter
Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.)
Also Known as Multiple Personality Disorder (M.P.D.)
Alters eventually need to realize that they are alters, and with some alters, the sooner they are told, the happier they will be but, as will become clearer later, one must be very prayerful about how and when to tell them.
The following is what I tell older alters, to help them understand who they are (simpler language is needed for young alters). I place it here because it might further clarify your understanding of alters. It is important to read the rest of this series of webpage's, however, to understand the risks involved in revealing this information to alters too soon.
Through no fault of your own you suffered something very traumatic. It is probably your first memory. This was so upsetting that it caused a temporary form of amnesia. With this type of memory loss you don’t forget all of the past, only part of it. In fact, you recall some of the past so vividly that it seems to be much more recent than it actually is.
It’s rather like being Rip Van Winkle, who slept for years and when he woke up what seemed like yesterday was actually many years ago and the world had moved on without him being aware of it. It might be, for instance, that today’s date is much later than you suppose. What year do you think this is? I can show you a calendar or newspaper to prove to you the correct date if you wish. You probably also lost memory of your life before the trauma. Even if you have a good memory up until the present, there are probably many years of childhood memories that you are currently cut off from.
You are presently conscious of an important, irreplaceable part of you, but there is more to you than you are presently aware of. You have memories that you cannot currently access because the trauma you suffered caused you to become disconnected from the rest of yourself. You disconnected in a courageous attempt to protect the rest of you from dealing with the upsetting experience you suffered, but since that event the rest of you has gained information and skills that will comfort you and allow you to heal. Though you have fractured, this brokenness can be restored.
Other parts of you can tell you things about you that you currently don’t know. Better still, those memories and skills you have temporarily lost will become your very own when you reconnect with the rest of you. Other parts of you might seem like other people but they share your body.
This disconnectedness has previously caused isolated parts of you to have little awareness of you, or little understanding of who you are. This lack of understanding could have caused them to treat you with less love and respect than you deserve. If so, this is most unfortunate, and they probably already regret their mistake and as they get to know you they will certainly regret any hurt they have caused.
It is harder to put this in terms that a little child would understand but if you wish to read an attempt, see Explaining to a child alter who he/she is. Tell the alter:
You know that something very scary happened to you. It was such a shock that it is as if a part of you fell into a deep sleep, like sometimes happens when someone has been hit hard on the head. You are now awake, of course, but while you were sleeping another part of you stayed awake each day and kept growing. You were asleep for so long that what seems like yesterday was actually years ago. Things that you have feared have gone forever and you are now very safe.
You are now as strong as a grownup, and God – who can do anything – has become your best friend. He loves you so much and if you let him he’ll take away your pain and make you happy.
I can tell you some of the good things that have happened since you were asleep, but there is something even better. In time, you will be able to join up with the part of you that stayed awake so that all that has happened while you were sleeping will become your memories and you will be as smart as a grown up and good at all the things the awake part of you learnt while growing up.
© Copyright 2007, Grantley Morris. May be freely copied in whole or in part provided: it is not altered; this entire paragraph is included; readers are not charged and it is not used in a webpage. Many more compassionate, inspiring, sometimes hilarious writings available free online at www.net-burst.net Freely you have received, freely give. For use outside these limits, consult the author.