Faults and Ideals of Young Men'. 2

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There is a truth here of which every young man should think. Woman was not created for man's selfish amusement, nor was she made to be set up on a pedestal to be worshiped. She was made to be man's helpmeet, companion, and friend. She has her faults just as he has, and if she is a worthy woman, she is striving just as he is to grow out of them into perfection of character. She asks no servile homage—but only the liberty to stand beside man as her brother, her equal. Yet the honoring of women is always a mark of nobleness in man. Heathen men make her a slave and degrade her. In the East a man may scarcely recognize a woman, even his own wife or mother, in public. Christianity teaches a man, however, to look upon woman as his equal and to treat her with deference and respect. He is not a gentleman who can be crude in speech or act to any woman. And these writers all say it is in companionship with his own mother and sisters that a young man first reveals his true spirit, and in his own home that he first learns to be respectful or disrespectful.

One writer notes "a lack of refinement in the outward expression of life, in word and manner." The thought is, that many young men are careless in this regard. "They seem not to appreciate the importance of beauty and delicacy in outward forms of life. This, I think," adds the lady "is not a little thing, for it impacts on the ideal self the young man has in his heart." There appears to be in some minds, at least, an impression that gentleness of manner is effeminate, suitable for women, though not a manly grace. Some young men affect brusqueness, even bordering on rudeness, thinking they are cultivating a type of manliness that is to be commended. This is a mistake. True nobleness is always beautiful. Heroic strength is always gentle. Love is the law of life, and whatever is unlovely is a blemish. Lack of refinement, is always a disfiguring fault. A young man may not be familiar with the rules of etiquette, may not be able to behave gracefully in a drawing-room; and yet he may have a grace and gentleness of heart which will give to his bearing and acts the truest refinement.

No young man can afford to grow up without the best culture in all lines that he can possibly get. Books cost but little, and there usually are libraries within reach, and even those who are busy all the day may have their evenings when they can read and study. Then the best of all means of culture, is a gentle heart within, which inspires thoughtfulness, consideration of others, the desire to please. The use of art of manners to cover insincerity is the worst kind of hypocrisy. But love in the heart ought always to have winning expression. No one can live the thirteenth of First Corinthians and lack the truest refinement.

Many writers speak of a lack of a worthy ambition in many young men. "Having opportunities and abilities," says one, "they waste their lives because they fail to realize the true object and meaning of living." Says another, "Too many of them seem to have no grand aim, no aim higher than to dress well and be social favorites. They have no energy to make anything of themselves." Another names as a fault, "that love of comfort which makes them too easily satisfied with things, if only the outward conditions are pleasant."

Another says that "young men have time for every amusement and pleasure—but none for study and useful reading. Many of them show little desire for self-improvement." Several of the writers think that the young men of today are not a stalwart type—but are in danger of becoming effeminate, indolent, not fighting the battle of life bravely.

This is one of the perils of prosperous times when everything is going pleasantly. A young man without enthusiastic ambition is not worthy the sacred name of man. God did not make us to grovel like worms; he made us to rise to glory. Every young man should strive to make all he can of his life, and to do all he can with it. The world has neither use nor room for men who are without energy and persistence. They can only be dropped out and left behind while the great mass press on. No young man must delude himself with the vain hope that his friends will look after his success and carry him along, whether he strives or not.

This day of the world is not a time for easy-going. We want men of noble aspiration, of unconquerable energy, of sublime hope, who will not be contented with anything less that the best that they can make out of their life and its opportunities. An indolent young man can never by any mere accident of happy fortune become at mid-life a man of power and great usefulness. People cannot dream themselves into grand characters and lofty positions. And never was there a time when it was a grander thing to live than now, when true men have larger opportunity to do noble deeds and make a worthy record for themselves. They know not what they say—who speak of the time for heroisms and valiant deeds and fine achievements, as in the past.

Many of my friends have spoken of a lack of courage as another too common fault in young men. "They fear to unite with the church," writes one, "not because they do not recognize the duty and feel the need of so doing—but because they dread the taunts and sneers of companions." Others speak of the same lack shown by too many in yielding to soul-destroying temptation in the face of their own convictions, simply because they have not the courage to stem the tide of social custom. This is the way thousands of drunkards are made. Young men do not intend to drink—but the temptation comes upon them through companions, with sneer and scorn at their scruples, and in weakness they yield, thus losing in the battle of life because they are not brave enough to say "no". A man without courage—is a man at the mercy of all evil.

Many writers have their anxious words concerning the frequent falling of young men into the grosser vices and sins. The evils which surround the saloon and card-table are named among the dangers. One says, "Our boys are drifting. Street-corner crowds, cigar stores, cards and, lastly, saloons, have one by one thrown their nets around them. They were only having a little fun, they said. Boys can't stay in the house all the time. We will come out all right. Poor, foolish boys!" Another names "Their associating with companions whose character is questionable." Another mentions "Swearing, intemperance, betting, lying." Another says, "They are too fond of gaiety, the social glass, and card-playing."

There is something so debasing in the grosser vices to which many permit themselves to become addicted, that one would think that no noble young man with clean hands, a pure heart, and an unsullied life, would ever stoop to indulge in them even for a moment. Yet "many of them think it manly to be able to say that they can drink intoxicating liquors, swear, and run into other defiling things," writes one of my correspondents. What a sad travesty on manliness! What a desecration of God-like beauty! What a pity it is that so many young men with splendid natural abilities, capable of great things, should so fling away their birthright! Why should not the obligations of sobriety, of reverence, of purity, rest with as holy sanction upon young men as upon young women? One writer asks, "Why should not young men be as pure and modest as young girls?" Says another, "If I were to marry, I would want my husband every bit as good as myself. I recognize no law of self-respect incumbent upon one and not upon the other."

These words ought not to be lost upon young men who read them. Why indeed should any young man demand that his sister, or the young woman he makes his friend, shall live after a rule of almost angelic purity, above suspicion, free from the slightest taint—while he refuses to bring his own life and conduct under the same rule? Does our Lord's beatitude for purity mean one thing for a young man and something a great deal loftier and whiter for a young woman? No! whatever is a stain upon true womanliness is just as dark a stain upon ideal manhood.

So much for the "faults" of young men, which some of their fair friends have pointed out. It is not implied in these words, which seem to be critical, that there are not many noble and beautiful qualities in the young men in whom some faults have been seen. On the other hand, there are thousands of young men whose lives are rich in the elements of truest manliness, whose characters are radiant with the luster of "whatever things are honorable," and who are making for themselves records worthy of all praise. This is the golden age of young men.The faults that are here noted are lesser or greater blemishes on noble lives, pointed out in sincerest friendship, in the hope that by correction them these lives shall rise to still fairer beauty and yet manlier strength.

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