Faults and Ideals of Young Men'. 3
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2. Name some of the qualities and elements of character, which you regard as essential in the IDEAL of young manhood. It is more pleasant to look on this side of the subject than at the faults. It is better to try to build up than to tear down. It is here that the chief pressure of living should be exercised. While we must not be blind to our faults and imperfections, the best way to deal with them usually is not to try to remedy them one by one—but to seek larger abundance of life, thus expelling them—by the power of new affections. There are many physical weaknesses and ailments which can better be overcome, not by treating them as diseases requiring medicines—but by seeking to gain grater fullness of health. Without doubt, the true method in the culture of character, is not to give too much thought directly to one's defects and faults—but to seek to have the heart-life pure, strong, and full—so that it will throw off the blemishes and flaws, and fill up what is lacking in the outer life.
What are the qualities and elements of character in the true ideal of young manhood? Nearly every reply suggests honesty, integrity, truthfulness, as among the foundation elements in manly life. One enumerates "honesty, truthfulness, and courage to do right though opposed by friends. Another specifies "truthfulness, reliability." Another says "Integrity seems to be the foundation of all that is high in character." Another's ideal is, "One who has the courage to say NO, when he needs to, and when he ought to say it."
So it is made plain in almost every letter that the ideal of manliness in the minds of these thoughtful young women includes the sturdy qualities of splendid integrity, unflinching uprightness, and undeviating truthfulness. It is needful in these days to put strong emphasis upon this side of a noble life. Many of what are esteemed successful careers altogether lacks these robust elements. But worldly success is not life's final test. Even among men no character long shines out clear and bright, with honor and beauty—which has not for its central principle simple integrity. Says Lord Lytton, "A man is already of consequence in the world when it is known that he can be implicitly relied upon." And George MacDonald says, speaking of the influence of a good life in the world, "To know one person that is absolutely to be trusted will do more for a man's moral nature,—yes, and even for his spiritual nature, than will all the sermons he ever heard or ever can hear." To be able to build up such a character, to live so as to be implicitly relied upon, absolutely trusted by those who know him, certainly is an object in life worthy of any young man's striving to obtain.
It takes years of unfailing fidelity to reach such a point. No such name can be won in a community in a day. One dishonest act, one deviation from perfect integrity, one failure in moral obligation—will dim the luster of a name. Carelessness may do it. There are men, for example, who continually borrow little sums of money from others and forget that they owe them—let us charitably say they "forget" to pay them. There are men who are negligent about keeping promises and appointments. However good in other regards the men who thus habitually fail may be—it is impossible that they can come to be implicitly relied upon. Forgetfulness and carelessness are habits which bring many a man to ruin. Perfect integrity! Write the words on your very soul. No manhood can be really noble which does not possess this heroic quality.
Many of the letters emphasize also the gentle side of manliness. "The union of gentleness of manner—with firmness of mind." "He must have true politeness, which treats everyone kindly." "One who can be nearly as gentle as a woman—and yet be a manly man." "Loving and thoughtful toward parents and friends, with a shining face, cordial and kindly." "Gentle, loving, true, pure, with all that is good, kindly and unselfish." "He must be brave as a lion—and gentle as a woman." "Kind and respectful to everyone, and never cruel even to the least of God's creatures." So in nearly all the letters this gentle-heartedness is seen to shine in the ideal close alongside the robuster elements as equally essential. "He keeps his temper under control," writes one, "is generous, courteous, kind, and, above all, unselfish. I would tremble to trust my life to a selfish man."
It is often said of Jesus, the only perfect man the world ever saw, that both the manly and womanly virtues were found in him. We know how brave and true and strong he was, and we know also how gentle he was. Behold in him the ideal manhood. No manly character is complete which lacks affectionateness and tender-heartedness. Strength without this human quality is not beautiful. Several writers refer to Paul's wonderful picture of noble Christian life: "Whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, and whatever things are of good report." Here we have gentleness as well as strength in "whatever things are lovely," linked with whatever things are true."
Many incidents are related of great men, showing the kindly side of their character. One may be given an illustration. It is of Mr. Corliss, the great engine-builder. He was about erecting an addition to his shops, and it was necessary to remove a ledge of rock by blasting. As the work progressed, a bird's nest was discovered in a crevice of the rock which the men were about to remove. "That nest will have to go," said the foreman to Mr. Corliss, pointing to the place where the robin was sitting. The two men drew near, and as the mother-bird flew away they saw five little blue eggs in the nest. Mr. Corliss found that the nest could not be moved without destroying it, and he gave orders, therefore, that the work of removing the rock should stop until the robin had hatched out her young, and until they were old enough to fly away. So the great engine-builder's interests waited while the robin sat quietly on her nest, with an air of vast importance, as if she were queen of a realm. This incident shows the gentle side of this man's character, and who will say it is not beautiful, the very adornment of his manhood?
Purity is named by many of the writers as another quality in the ideal young manhood. Writes one, "The man-soul should be as unsullied and white as the woman soul. Does not purity cover all—purity in thought, in word, in deed?" Another says, referring to the same point: "There is no reason why young men should not be held to as high a standard of character as their sisters." Another puts it thus: "The indispensable quality is reverence for all humanity and all natural and right relations." This lady gives an example—an artist who has had many years of Bohemian artist life, has seen every temptation, "And he is just as good and gentle as ever. I cannot imagine an ill thought ever entering his mind. His wife is a happy woman, and not one of his pupils and models can fail to be inspired by him to purer purpose and higher ideals. I cannot see why the virtues should be of different genders. I know of none that are not equally beautiful in man and in woman."
Jesus himself said, "Blessed are the pure in heart; for they shall see God." An Apostle gave it as an essential in a holy life, that we keep ourselves "unspotted from the world."
Energy is another quality that is mentioned by these writers. One speaks of "perseverance," another of "strength," another of "proper ambition," while many use the word "energy" to express their thought. Evidently, thoughtful young women want to see young men make something of their life. They have little patience with indolence and little respect for a man who will not work with energy and a purpose.
Some men who never get on in life, blame their failure on their unfavorable circumstances. They think if their condition had only been different they would have been successful. But the way to make the most of life is not to get easy conditions; it is to take the conditions we have—and by energy, faithfulness, indomitable courage, and unsparing, unrelaxing toil, to make our conditions and circumstances serve us in doing the work of life well and in building up a noble character.
Without exception these letters name among the elements of the ideal young manhood—true religion, faith in Christ, and loyalty to him. "My ideal man is first a Christian," says one. "A Christian like young man will, little by little, become like the one he is following, and will copy the qualities of his Master." "A Christian who takes Christ into his business, his pleasures, and into every part of his life." "Strength of character to stand up for Christ and be right." "There is but one pattern for us all to follow, and therefore the man who follows it most closely is nearest to perfection." Thus the letters run, putting love to Christ as the crown of all noble manhood.
It is in Christ alone, that we find the true ideal of manliness realized. He is the one only perfect Man, without sin or imperfection, who though tempted in all points like as we are, yet yielded not. Also, it is in the divine Christ alone, that we can receive the life and grace we need, to enable us to rise into the noble ideal of manhood which he himself has set before us.
So much for the ideal of manhood. There is in the soul of every true-hearted and worthy young man, a vision of beauty and nobleness which he himself earnestly desires to attain. It is radiant and without spot. Someone says, "God never yet permitted us to frame a theory too beautiful for his power to make practicable." A fair vision cannot be realized in a day—it is the work of a whole lifetime to attain it; yet it should be kept before the eye all the time, and the effort to come up to it should never faint nor lag for an instant. Through all experiences, through trial, temptation, discouragement, opposition, defeat, and failure, and through all changes of circumstances and conditions—the eye should rest unwaveringly upon the goal, and the purpose to gain it should never be abandoned. Every day should mark progress. That only is true living, which is ever learning, ever reaching upward and stretching forward. The heart is dead, which has ceased to throb with longing for something yet better, and the hand is derelict in its duty which has slacked in its working. The goal ever lies onward. We must live and die learning, striving. We need enthusiasm. No life ever reached anything very beautiful, radiant, noble, and worthy—without this fire of God burning at its heart.
Then we must not forget that only God himself can make possible and practicable, the realizing of our vision of manhood. A young man must never leave God out of his life. He ever needs divine inspiration and help. It is God who sets before him the radiant vision which he would attain, and it is God alone who can help him to fill out the fair pattern divinely shown to him in the Mount.
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