Faults and Ideals of Young Men'.

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Recently I published a little book bearing the title: "Faults and Ideals of Young Women." It contained quotations from letters of a number of young men concerning the points indicated in the title. Many young ladies have written to the author suggesting that there should be a book bearing on the "Faults and Ideals of Young Men", and that the young ladies should have an opportunity to show their opinion. This seemed a fair and proper request, and this little book is the result.

An old painter of Sienna, after standing for a long time in silent meditation before his canvas, with hands crossed meekly on his chest, and head bent reverently low, turned away, saying,"May God forgive me that I did not do it better!"

Many people, as they come to the close of their life, and look back at what they have done with their opportunities and privileges, and at what they are leaving as their finished work, to be their memorial, can only pray with like sadness, "May God forgive me that I did not do it better!"

If there were some are of getting the benefit of our own after-thoughts about life as we go along, perhaps most of us would live more wisely and more beautifully. It is ofttimes said, "If I had my life to live over again, I would live it differently. I would avoid the mistakes that I now see I have made. I would not commit the follies and sins which have so marred my work. I would devote my life with earnestness and intensity to the achievement and attainment of the best things." No one can get his life back to live it a second time, but the young have it in their power to live so that they shall have no occasion to utter such an unavailing wish, when they reach the end of their life.

We cannot in youth really get the benefit of our own experience—but we may learn from the experience of others. We may get lessons from those who have gone over the way before us. We ought to learn from their mistakes—and to be incited and encouraged by their successes. Then we may learn even from contemporaries, who have had no more experience than ourselves. Almost anybody can tell us of quite real faults in our life and conduct, and point out to us many things in which we may live more beautifully. If we are wise, we will profit by every such hint. It is in this line of thought, that these words to young men are prepared. Two questions were sent to a number of young ladies, requesting answers:

1. What do you consider some of the most common FAULTS of the young men you have met?

It is not pleasant to stand up to be criticized. No one likes to be told of his faults. Yet when we think of it, we really ought to be thankful, for every time we learn of a new fault in ourselves—not because we have such a fault—but because we have now discovered it. For the discovery of a fault is to everyone who is living worthily, an opportunity for fresh conquest, and for a new advance in the growth of a noble character. To know of a fault in one's self should be instantly to challenge its continuance. He who consents to keep and cherish in himself a sin or blemish of which he has become aware, shows a pitiable weakness. He surrenders part of his life to an enemy, whom he acknowledges he cannot drive out, and whom he leaves therefore in his stronghold to be a perpetual menace and peril to him in all the future. He permits a flaw to remain in his character, building it into the heart of the structure and leaving it there, not only to be a blemish—but to be also a point of weakness, at which, some time, in great stress, his life may break and fall.

Perfection is the aim of all true manhood. There is an ideal ever unattained, yet never lost sight of, which shines continually before the earnest soul, calling it ever upward toward spotless divine beauty. The smallest speck of fault must not willingly be allowed to remain on the whiteness of the soul.

A certain author was about to bring out a new edition of one of his books. He sent a copy to a number of his literary friends asking them to read it critically and to mark every error they might find, every blemish or infelicity in expression, and to indicate every point at which the slightest improvement could be made. "Criticize remorselessly," he wrote to each friend, "for I want the new edition of my book to be as near perfection as possible." That is the way we should do with our life. No feeling of pride should ever keep us from welcoming the revelation of any flaw or imperfection in ourselves. Even the harsh and unkind criticisms of enemies, we should patiently heed and consider, and if there is the smallest ground for them—we should extract the sweet out of the bitter, for the blessing of our own life.

No man can be his own best teacher. Exclusively self-made men are usually very badly made. They carry most of their faults uncorrected, lacking all the benefits of wise and faithful criticism. We cannot be impartial judges of our own life. We cannot see clearly our own defects and imperfections. We are charitable to our own faults.

Most of us at least have faults of which we ourselves are entirely unaware—but which our friends and neighbors can see without magnifying glasses. While, therefore, it requires some heroism to ask men to tell us our own faults, he is wise who does not shrink from the friendly scrutiny of those who wish only to do him good.

A most kindly spirit is manifested in all the letters which have come in answer to the questions cited above. The young ladies who write show no glee in the use of their opportunity to tell of the faults they have seen in young men. One of them, who must be singularly fortunate in the quality of her young gentlemen acquaintances says, "I am not able to mention any faults." Another says, "I have come to the conclusion that faults common to young men are few that are not just as frequently found in young women." Still another, after mentioning several points of criticism, says, "I think, however, that men do not have either faults or virtues peculiar to the gender."

Yet it is evident that some young men at least have faults even in the kindly and charitable eyes of young women. A number name self-conceit as a too common fault. One writes, "According to their own opinion, they have more opportunities, more social advantages, and more brains than women." Another says, "They are unwilling to be advised by older and more experienced people, thinking that they know more themselves than any other person can tell them." Another intimates that many of the young men she knows are "boastful and think more highly of themselves than they ought to think." Another phrases it a little differently, characterizing the fault as, "their cool self-satisfaction and expectation of respect without any effort to make themselves particularly admirable or worthy of respect." This writer adds, however, "I feel that you will reply that this expectation could not exist were there not too much of this worship paid to young men by girls."

In various forms and under various designations this same fault is noticed by most of the writers. This indicates its commonness. Perhaps not many of us are able to carry the consciousness of our greatness in a modest, lowly manner, at least until we have learned the lesson amid life's hard experiences. As men grow older the self conceit is usually taken out of them by the buffetings and hard knocks which they receive as they struggle on among their fellows. However, self conceit is such a blemish, that no young man should be content to carry its mark on his life a moment after he discovers it.

Yet this sore fault lies very close to a noble virtue—manly self-respect, the consciousness of one's dignity and worth as a child of God. The artist by a few touches on his picture can change a look of haughtiness to one of humility. The change is not so easily wrought in the character as it is on canvas—and yet it can be wrought even there, and must be wrought, if the life is to grow into full-orbed beauty. The only way to secure this transformation is by dwelling with all one's littleness and imperfections, in the shadow of Christ's infinite greatness and perfection. We will never learn it by comparing ourselves with others who are little or no better than ourselves. But when we look at Christ's manhood and study its perfectness, we cannot but become conscious of our smallness and unworthiness. Nor can we ever get rid of self conceit by merely willing to be humble and then trying to pose in the attitude of posture of humility. The offensive element in self-conceit can be effaced only by becoming so absorbed in noble things outside of ourselves, that we shall altogether forget ourselves.

Another fault noticed in some young men is what one calls "grumpiness." This writer says it is the "most common and annoying fault of the good boys she knows," and adds, "No girl would be allowed for a moment to be as critical, or as blunt and unsympathetic as boys are expected to be,—good boys, home-lovers, kind-hearted, honest Christians—but gruff and careless of their temper." This lady feels that they are rather tyrannical in their own home, especially toward sisters and even toward parents. Another writer hints at a like fault in the following cluster of unlovely things growing out of one ugly root: "The most common fault of young men is selfishness. Its name is legion; but whether called obstinacy, love of power, love of their own comfort, tyranny, irritability, or jealousy—the radical fault is selfishness and these faults are all manifestations of some form of it."

Those who recognize these criticisms as just, concerning themselves, would do well to pay good heed to the curing of the fault. It is certainly not a quality which adorns a life. It is impossible for other people to live with a man of such tyrannical spirit, one so impatient of suggestion or counsel, and have any real comfort in the companionship. One boy of this sort in a home succeeds in making a great deal of unhappiness for those who love him best. When the evil is not cured in early years, very unfortunate is the woman who becomes the wife of this "grumpy" man. He may provide well for her in many ways—but he will torture if not break her heart, by his most unmanly tyranny and his petty despotism.

Several ladies note a lack of respect for women as a common fault. One writes, "I would mention a lack of regard for women. A man's respect for women must begin with his own mother." Another speaks also of a lack of thoughtful consideration and says, "In these days old-time courtesy, true gentlemanliness is often lacking in young men."

Another finds a common fault "in the conduct of young men toward women." This writer divided men into two classes—first, the pleasure-seeker, whose chief thought of life is to get out of it all the enjoyment possible; and the second class of men, seem to idolize a woman. To the first class, woman is a means of amusement only; with the second, too often she is but an idol. Men of the first class are influenced by woman's personal appearance and power to please and gratify, regardless of her mental and moral ability. Then how many of the second class think of woman as a comrade, a fellow-partner, or friend? They idolize her. Both of these courses are wrong.

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