Chapter Nine – Sex in Marriage as God Intended

Next Part Arousal Timing of Male and Female

The over six billion people alive on earth today are ignorant of what they could have known. Following the ancients in ignorance, the masses today have continued in degenerate decadence and sexual debauchery, now worse than anything civilization has seen. And many prophecies of the Bible reveal that conditions will grow worse—probably even still much worse—before they get better. We read of a number.

I repeat: The nations of earth could have known—but chose not to, preferring that God “keep His nose out of their business”!

But the opinions of men do not change eternal laws, or the thinking of God, because He might want to “keep up with the times,” or be politically correct. The living God still condemns adultery, fornication and all other forms of sexual immorality and perversion as PLAIN SIN! All of these violate His various laws governing sex and, in a host of ways, seen and unseen, rob people of happiness and future joy in marriage.

And all so very unnecessary!

So many people simply fail to realize that the laws God has set in motion are every bit as real as the physical laws that govern the universe, such as the law of gravity. How God intended sex to be used in marriage makes its own statement as to why violating or perverting His Law invites physical and emotional damage to those involved. In this chapter, it will become apparent as to why “necking, petting”—called “making out” since the 60s—and any other kind of sexual activity outside of the holy bond of marriage is damaging.

The Marital Love Relationship

God not only intended sex for marriage and reproduction—physical functions—but He also had a great spiritual parallel in mind when devising it. Comprehend this vital point. There is another colossal reason that God created sex as He did. It was given to express marital love and special companionship, which serve to strengthen and preserve the marriage bond.

Again, because of simple ignorance regarding just the fundamentals, one of the leading causes of marital break-up (alongside communication problems and financial woes) is sex-related problems—things that happen in the bedroom.

Let’s begin to explain more of the basics.

Within the human body, endocrine glands produce hormones unique for each gender, and these produce unique mental and physical characteristics in men and women. Hormones guide the mental-emotional-sexual phenomenon known as sex appeal.

A human drive common to every normal person, sex appeal results from a mix of stimuli, ranging from an individual’s appearance to personality, education, common interests, talents, and certain other “intangibles.” Assuming that the peripheral issues of compatibility are neutral or favourable between a couple, it is sex appeal that primarily causes a man to be romantically attracted to a particular woman. Likewise, this drive also motivates a woman to show romantic interest in a particular man.

Though sex appeal arises perhaps primarily from one’s facial expressions, which could reflect attraction, affection, maturity or grace, it actually originates as a glandular action. Certainly, one could objectively appreciate another person on these characteristics alone, but sex appeal does not take place without the sex hormones affecting and exciting the emotions. (It is worth noting that, when considering marriage to a particular person, there should be at least some, if not considerable, sex appeal involved.)

All-important Hormones

We must pause and examine the critical role that hormones play in sexual arousal and response.

In men and women, it is the sex hormones that cause the man to have masculine characteristics and the woman to have feminine characteristics. When fully understood, these same hormones help serve to motivate one’s interest in a partner for life. They directly assist in causing—and even drive—a man to passionately desire a particular woman to be his wife, bear his children and be his companion through life. The man desires to embrace her and express his fondness, love and desire to share a lifetime of devotion with her.

Likewise, the sexual hormones result in the woman perceiving that same man as the one to whom she desires to give her affection and devotion. They will cause her to naturally desire to be embraced by him, including in sexual intercourse, and to be the mother of his children and his companion for life. In mature individuals, these emotions are wholesome, pure and natural as God intended. In no way are such feelings shameful or sinful.

In a balanced and stable marriage, sex is rightfully a stimulus for romantic embracing, kissing and lovemaking. It properly leads to the ultimate expression of intimate passion, designed by God to be part of the marriage bond.

We have previously discussed that God created human beings with the five physical senses—sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. He has given both sexes of human beings—the pinnacle of His creation—the capacity to enjoy the taste of pure, natural food; to smell and appreciate spices or perfumes; to listen to the sounds of beautiful, uplifting music; and to enjoy the beautiful sight of a mountain sunset. God has also blessed husbands and wives to enjoy the supreme expression of feelings through sexual relations, providing each mate with the culmination of ecstasy as they engage in sexual intercourse in the fashion and with the knowledge that God purposed. He designed marital relations to be the supreme physical experience.

However, God did intend that this most intimate experience be enjoyed in moderation. When taken to excess, and this can depend to some degree upon the couple and their age, it tends to cheapen sex. But, as in all things, when done with temperance, this self-control can actually heighten one’s appreciation for this special experience—exclusively reserved for, and actually programmed into, husband and wife.

Professional marriage counsellors often recommend for younger couples to come together in sexual relations about two to three times per week, once again, with frequency varying somewhat from couple to couple. (Newlyweds will certainly be more frequent for a while.) For proper fulfilment, reasonable temperance in spacing the frequency of relations maximizes intensity and appreciation, and increases enjoyment. It is important that couples not ever allow this special coming together to feel routine or hackneyed—either because of neglect, misuse or overuse.