Arousal Timing of Male and Female

The tender caresses and kisses that occur between a husband and wife are the special expressions of love that should be often repeated, but always in private—which many couples today, who so publicly flaunt themselves, do not understand. When these expressions of love lead to sexual relations, timing and understanding of arousal becomes of utmost importance. When ignored, this has led to tragic disappointments, frustrations and worse, if left unremedied. All such “letdowns” can be prevented by understanding the nature of arousal between males and females.

Arousal time involves the timing in which both the male and the female organs have become prepared for marital intercourse. In order for this to occur, we saw that the male penis must become enlarged and firm. We also saw that this process takes place relatively quickly—almost instantaneously, particularly for young men, but generally almost as quickly for older men. Yet, for the female, arousal requires more time. This is a fact of which many husbands have tended to be ignorant or have neglected to employ.

This has been the greatest single cause—by far!—of marital frustration and lack of satisfaction and ability to enjoy an orgasm on the woman’s part.

Men must recognize that the membrane that forms the vaginal walls exists in folds, and is usually dry in its normal inactive or restful condition. In order to receive the male member, arousal must cause the membrane to significantly moisten from special glands that provide a natural lubricant. Interestingly, as we saw, female mammals can only achieve this condition during certain “seasons,” and these are totally unplanned by the animals. However, with women, such arousal is induced and not automatic—and this has to be understood by every husband!

Husbands simply must comprehend the process of female arousal and recognize the need for allowing sufficient time in this process. Again, the male is stimulated by hormones that are most wisely to be kept in check, while he focuses on intensified petting for the purpose of benefiting the wife’s timing—rather than allowing himself to exclude her feelings for the sake of his instant gratification as so many husbands do. True love should induce one to give pleasure to another, rather than to get for himself as soon as possible.

Great Difference in Sexes

The difference in the effect of stimuli between male and female are quite interesting, and must be understood. The male can be stimulated by a touch, a picture, a dream or even by a mere glancing thought. Of course, physical contact is obviously also a most potent stimulus for him.

Women simply do not respond in the same way as do men. For them, direct physical contact—that is, embracing and kissing—is by far the most important stimulus. They require more tender talking and touching than men. In fact, even the period leading up to the actual sexual intercourse, including the entire day that precedes it, can be important for the woman’s body to even be able to respond.

Most girls are oblivious to the fact that necking on dates causes the male to be instantly aroused and desiring intercourse. Girls should understand that this conduct is a temptation to young boys. Over three billion women on planet earth possess this power. Of course, many girls know about it, or come to discover it, only to employ it as would any common prostitute plying her marriage- and character-destroying trade on the streets of every city of the world.

For a young girl or woman to abuse her sex appeal by misusing these God-given charms, would not only be denying herself the reaping of wonderful future blessings reserved for the marriage relationship, but she would also be directly stealing from the boy’s future wife.

The wife’s timing for readiness can require about fifteen minutes to as much as half an hour. This might be considered to be average, since individual responses can vary. Some few women can have a much more rapid readiness for intercourse than others. While men are generally about the same, it is incumbent on every husband to determine the natural tendency and “speed” of his wife in coming to full arousal. (In some rare cases, the wife could possibly be aroused more readily than her husband, but this would be an exception.)

Only by Design

Evolution is simply not able to explain why the speed of arousal for men is different than women. There would be no purpose for which blind, dumb evolution would decree this so.

Of course, evolution played no part in any of this. It was God who designed this timing delay for a purpose—and almost none know it. Although the man is aroused quickly, well before his wife, he is generally to lead the way and take the initiative. His early arousal helps him to fulfil his proper role as the more often initiator (though this certainly need not always be the case) of sexual relations.

However, there is another greater reason for the different rates of arousal between husband and wife. It is related to the fact that sex potential in human beings leads to marriage and then to an ever deeper love and respect for the other mate. The difference in timing of arousal enhances and prolongs sexual intimacy and passionate communication, kissing and caressing that would hardly exist, or not exist at all, if the woman were aroused as quickly as the man. If this were the case, there would be no sexual intimacy, and intercourse would be no more romantic than what occurs with animals. God wanted couples to slow down and spend time in loving embrace—thus, He designed a system that requires this.

It is tragic that many marriages are influenced by the sex-is-shameful mentality, and have therefore failed to experience the God-intended intimacy and fulfilment that comes from a wholesome sexual relationship. The repression of the true purpose and meaning of sex has robbed many generations of the enjoyment that false religionists have condemned. This Satan-inspired repression has also served to reduce women to sub-human status. In many cultures, the woman’s enjoyment of the sex act is deemed completely unimportant—it is the man whose satisfaction is all that matters.

This is why some African and Middle Eastern cultures (Iraq, for instance) actually circumcise little girls—done by crudely cutting away the clitoris, with this reported to cause up to one in five in Africa to die from blood loss. This is done to ensure that when she reaches adulthood, she will remain faithful to her husband. This—brutal butchery!—is the way certain of man’s cultures address the potential of adultery. Ironically, it is some of these very societies that experience the highest percentages of unfaithfulness among men.

Again, the husband’s instant arousal and initiative in pursuing intercourse with his wife, who is only later aroused, was designed and intended to intensify and prolong the intimacy and love to be expressed and to accompany this pinnacle of fulfilment. God designed sex in human beings to express and experience LOVE in the bond of marriage.

The actions of the husband—who has also become aroused by caressing his wife—involve expressions of how precious and lovely she is to him, and involve kissing and embracing, all of which are the different kind of stimuli that produce arousal in her. Again, during these times of intense affection and emotion, a degree of love and appreciation becomes apparent that would not otherwise be expressed, if God had not designed it so.

Also, many men have not recognized that this period of foreplay intensifies the man’s orgasm as well. His arousal will increase with continued intimacy before intercourse.