Why is this to such a worm as I?',

Back to John Flavel's "The Method of Grace"

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The heart that receives Jesus Christ is in a frame 
of deep humiliation and self-abasement. O, when 
a man begins to apprehend the first approaches 
of grace, pardon, and mercy by Jesus Christ to his 
soul; when he is convinced of his utter unworthiness 
and desert of hell, and can scarcely expect anything 
from the just and holy God but damnation—how do 
the first dawning of mercy melt and humble him! 

"O Lord, what am I, that you should feed me and 
preserve me; that you should but for a few years 
spare me! But that ever Jesus Christ should love me, 
and give Himself for me; that such a wretched sinner
as I should obtain union with his person, pardon, 
peace, and salvation by his blood! Lord, why is this 
to such a worm as I? And will Christ indeed bestow 
Himself on me? Shall so great a blessing as Christ, 
ever come to such a soul as mine? Will God in very 
deed be reconciled to me in his Son? What, to me
—to such an enemy as I have been? Shall my sins, 
which are so many, so horrid, so much aggravated 
beyond the sins of most men, be forgiven? O, what 
am I, vile dust, base wretch, that ever God should 
do this for me!"