Trial and Triumph CHAPTER 11.
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The position in which Man Lynn found herself, was an exceedingly trying one; trying to her personally, as well as to her principles of action. The letter of accusation against her which Mrs. Barker had received, remained in her possession. As to its authorship, she was in some doubt. That Emerson had something to do with it — had, in fact, written it in a disguised hand, or procured it to be written — she felt almost certain. But she did not know this certainly, and, therefore, did not feel that it would be right to predicate action thereon.
A very brief fellowship with Mr. Barker's family, served to attach her strongly to every member thereof; particularly was this so in the case of Caroline, whose goodness of heart and correctness of principle manifested themselves to her more and more daily. The feeling between Mary and the family was reciprocal. Like attract like, by the law of affinities. So it was in the present case.
William, the oldest son of Mr. Barker, who had been so struck with the appearance of Mary, as she left the house on an occasion previously referred to, was not the least favorably affected by the sphere of virtue that surrounded the lovely girl. Every time he met her, he fell drawn towards her more and more; and saw in her new phases of beauty. Frequently he spoke of her to his sister, and, in such terms of praise, that Caroline at length began to jest pleasantly with him about losing his heart to the fair governess. This threw the young man's thoughts back upon themselves, and he felt rather serious on finding that he was more interested in the young girl than was agreeable, considering the different relations each held to society. So, with a deliberate purpose, he sought to turn himself from her. This, however, did not prove so easy of accomplishment. The more he tried to turn himself away — the more instinctively did his thoughts and feelings turn towards her. And, even while he was resolving not to think or care for her — he thought and cared for her the more.
We said that the position in which Mary Lynn found herself, was a trying one. It was so in regard to Emerson's relation to the family. She had rejected his offer of marriage, because she was satisfied of his lack of right feeling and honest and honorable principles. Such a thing as a real union with a man like him, she believed to be impossible; and she could not conceive how Caroline Barker, in a marriage with him, was to escape unhappiness. There was the less hope of this, if, as Mary, with too good reason feared, Emerson had sought, by the most unjustifiable means, to keep her out of the family. The fact of his having denied to her face any knowledge of her, was bad enough; but as this was not to be reconciled in her mind with any other fact than his authorship of the letter, she was forced to the unwilling conclusion, that he was far more depraved in heart, than she had, heretofore, believed him. The worst feature to her mind, in that letter, was its allusion to the money sent to her by himself; or, rather sent to her mother, and falsely made to appear as if sent to herself.
Day and night Mary thought of all this, and shuddered inwardly, as the time approached when Caroline was to pledge her bridal vows. The closer her fellowship became with Caroline, and the better she knew her — the more was she troubled as her thoughts went on to the future. Hers was a pure and true heart; and for it to be happy in a union with such a man as was Philip Emerson, in her estimation, she felt, to be impossible. But could she step forward to throw a barrier in the way of that union? Was it her duty? Once she had stood in the way of Emerson's attainment of his wishes — should she do so again? If she had been absolutely certain that he was the author of the letter sent to Mrs. Barker, there would have been little hesitation as to what she should do. But many doubts on this subject harassed and confused her mind, and made her really unhappy. That she was ill at ease, the family saw; and not infrequently did Caroline, in particular, question her as to the cause.
In her mother, Mary had no counselor. The mind of the latter was completely darkened by false views of life, and by the mists of selfish feelings. To her Aunt Edith, she opened her heart fully; but, from the point of view occupied by Mrs. May, she was not able to see clearly what it was best for her niece to do. To step in and seek to prevent a marriage to which both parties were solemnly pledged, was too serious an affair to be determined hastily.
"If I only knew that Philip Emerson wrote, or even caused to be written, that letter," said Mary, while in conversation with her aunt a few weeks before the wedding of Caroline was to take place, "I would know how to act. My simple duty would then be, to inform Mrs. Barker, and let her make what further investigations she pleased. But I cannot be certain of this. I have no proof."
"You accused him of having written the letter; and did so before Mrs. Barker?" remarked Mrs. May.
"Yes."
"That ought to be sufficient to raise a doubt in the minds of the family, and to cause them to look and inquire farther."
"But you know, aunt," replied Mary, "I told Mrs. Barker that when I said this, I was half beside myself, and hardly knew what I was doing."
"That was calculated to mislead her."
"I spoke but the truth. I was utterly bewildered. But she took my meaning in a fuller sense than I intended. Oh, Aunt Edith! I wish I knew what it was right for me to do. Caroline is a good girl, and will never be happy as the wife of Emerson. Knowing this, and with the power in my hands of preventing, in all probability, the marriage — what ought I to do? I wish you would advise me."
But Mrs. May was not prepared to advise her niece to any course of action.
"Wait longer," said she. "Something may occur to make your duty plain."
"It will soon be too late, aunt. A few weeks more, and all interference will be vain. Ah! to see her unhappy, and to know that I might have prevented it by a timely warning, will almost break my heart. What a poor return will this be for all the kindness I have received, and am daily receiving, from every member of Mr. Barker's family."
"All do not see and feel alike, Mary," said her aunt to this. "Although Caroline may possess excellent qualities of heart, she has not your determination. She does not perceive, with the intuitive quickness that marked your fellowship with Emerson, his true character; and she may not perceive it after marriage. If he is really attached to her — the beauty of goodness as it shines forth in her daily life, may win him from selfish purposes. This marriage may be permitted, providentially, as a means of withdrawing him from evil. It may be the only way of saving him from the dominion of cruel and selfish passions; or of elevating her, through disappointment and suffering, into a higher state than she would have otherwise obtained. The ways of God are not as man's ways. We are short-sighted; but He is all-seeing. Our lives here are but the preparatory states for a better life, and whatever will tend to develop and strengthen true spiritual life within us, is permitted to take place by Providence."
Mary saw enough in this argument to prevent her from interfering to hinder the marriage of Emerson and Miss Barker, but not enough to satisfy her that she was right in so doing. Hourly the subject was in her mind, and deeply was her heart troubled. So much was she affected thereby, that her appearance caused much concern in the family of Mr. Barker, and frequent earnest inquiries as to the cause of her evident disquietude of mind. To these inquiries, evasive answers were always given, which were often made the subject of conversation between Mr. and Mrs. Barker; the former frequently coming back to the suggestion that Mary knew more of Emerson than she was willing to admit. This idea, however, Mrs. Barker always opposed.
Meanwhile, Mary's fellowship with her mother did not assume a more pleasant character. The money she had obtained in advance from Mrs. Barker, she had sent to Mr. Emerson, warning him, in a brief note, that he well understood, not to repeat the act. Of this she had felt it her duty to advise her mother, that she might understand, in the beginning, that no aid would come from her for six months, and that she must, therefore, guard the money in her hands, which was now merely an advance on Mary's salary. At this information, Mrs. Lynn was greatly outraged, and poor Mary had to bear an outburst of passionate upbraidings, that, while borne meekly, grieved her to the heart.
Of the fact of Emerson's intimacy in the family, and of his approaching marriage with Caroline, Mary wisely said nothing to her mother. That news, come when it would, was destined, she knew, to subject her to remarks of a painful character.
One evening, about two weeks before the appointed wedding-day of Caroline Barker, Mary was spending an hour at home. William, her brother, remarked to her, in the hearing of their mother —
"Someone said, in our store today, that Miss Barker was to be married to Mr. Emerson week after next. Is it so?"
"What's that?" inquired Mrs. Lynn, before Mary had time to answer.
"I heard that Miss Caroline Barker was to be married to Mr. Emerson in a week or two," repeated William.
"Nonsense!" said Mrs. Lynn, quickly. "There isn't a word of truth in it."
She hadn't given up the idea that Emerson would yet lead her daughter to the altar.
"How is it, Mary? You must know," said William, referring to his sister.
"It is true," was her simple response; and as she spoke, she turned her face partly away.
"What!" exclaimed Mrs. Lynn.
"It is true," repeated Mary.
"I do not believe it!" said Mrs. Lynn, exhibiting at once a great deal of feeling.
To this, Mary felt no inclination to reply. In the next moment, her mother, assuming the fact just denied, took occasion to upbraid her for having madly, as she said, refused to save herself and family from beggary, by accepting the offer of an alliance in every way so desirable.
"Are you any better than Caroline Barker?" was the harsh interrogation of this unfeeling, selfish woman.
"No, mother," replied Mary, in a mild voice.
"She doesn't think herself too good to marry Mr. Emerson."
"But I do," said Mary, firmly. "A great deal too good. And if Caroline doesn't repent of her act before a year, I am greatly mistaken. She doesn't know him as I do."
"You'd better enlighten her a little," sneeringly retorted Mrs. Lynn.
Mary did not venture a reply to this, nor to anything her mother said further on the subject; and, as quickly as she could, sought to change the theme of conversation. Her visits were, from this time, made so unpleasant, by her mother's constant reference to the approaching marriage of Miss Barker, that she came home less frequently, and stayed only for a short time.
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