The Young Wife CHAPTER 4.
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"I don't think I shall stay here after my month is up," Rachel said to the chambermaid, during the morning on which Mrs. Lawton was making her calls.
"Why not?"
"Because I am sure that I shall not be able to please Mrs. Lawton."
"I don't think she's hard to please at all," the chambermaid replied. "She's never given me a single direction since I've been here."
"That is the difficulty, Sally. If she would look after things a little, and tell me how she wanted them done — I could get along well enough. But while it is all left to me, I am never sure that I am doing right or wrong. Yesterday the dinner did not please them — and I know that I was blamed. But it was no fault of mine."
"I find it easy enough," Sally responded, "for I can do as I please, and that is what I like. Mrs. Lawton is not the woman to poke about in holes and corners for dirt and dust."
"If it is all to your mind, Sally, I am sure I have no objections; but, as I said, it won't suit me. I will do my best, until my month is up, and then, if there has been no change, I shall certainly leave. People like Mrs. Lawton never have any consideration for us; and it always discourages me to be treated as if I had no feeling. I've lived with ladies before now who seemed afraid to put their foot into the kitchen, and they were the hardest to please of any people that I ever met."
"I don't know," Sally replied, "but it seems to me that you couldn't get an easier place than this. Only two people to cook for, and your own way about everything, into the bargain."
"I never was afraid of work, Sally, and it isn't that which discourages me. I had rather get satisfaction, even if I have to work twice as hard."
"But when things can't be mended, you ought to take them easy."
"That may do for you, Sally; but I haven't so easy a way of getting along as you have. I may be wrong, but I can't help it. If everything don't go on smooth and quiet — then I am in hot water all the while."
"But how do you know, Rachel, that things won't go on smooth and quiet here? I am sure there is nothing to prevent it."
"As I said before, Sally, I've lived in my time with ladies who had a mortal hatred of the kitchen; which was, in most cases, because they didn't know how to do anything when they came into it. It was no use to try to please them, because they didn't know how to make allowance for anything that happened to go wrong; and things will go wrong, sometimes, in spite of anyone. If dinner came on the table ten or fifteen minutes too late, and the husband grumbled — then the cook had to bear the blame of being indifferent, or lazy, or inattentive to her business, when, perhaps, her fire had burned badly in spite of all she could do, or she had, though anxious to do right, slightly miscalculated her time.
But it is very different where the mistress of a family has an eye over everything. Then she knows whether a cook tries to do her duty, and will never blame one who honestly endeavors to do right. And besides, we always feel more confidence when the lady herself is occasionally about, saying how she wants this thing done, or that; and giving such general directions as will always keep us from going wrong. But there is the bell, Sally. I suppose Mrs. Lawton has come home."
Sally answered the bell, and the young mistress entered her new home, with feelings somewhat different from those which swelled her bosom, when her foot first touched its threshold. The experience of a single day, in which she had been made to feel some domestic responsibilities, added to the gossip of two or three grumbling and discontented housekeepers, had opened to her mind a new world of thought. Already had the words, "I wish I had advised Frank to take rooms at a genteel boarding-house," formed themselves in her mind, and been inwardly expressed, thus giving to them a partial confirmation.
In a few minutes her husband came in, and found her sitting in one of the parlors in a musing attitude, with her bonnet unremoved.
"Sitting alone, and pensive!" Frank said, in a lively tone, as he entered; "and the honey-moon not half over."
"But I'm in right down earnest, though, for all," was the half-laughing reply.
"Or trying to be. Well, as there are to be no secrets between us, suppose you relate to me the cause of this painful state of your mind. Perhaps I can help you to a happy thought or two."
"But I tell you, I'm in earnest, Frank."
"Are you indeed? But I am sure I didn't dispute it. Seriously, however, I wish to know if anything does really trouble you."
"I do feel a little troubled, Frank."
"I am truly sorry to hear you say so. But, perhaps, if you will tell me why you feel uneasy, I can say or do something that will remove that uneasiness."
"I am afraid you will think me weak and foolish, Frank."
"Don't fear that, Julia," said he, taking her hand affectionately. "I can never think you either weak or foolish. Tell me, then, frankly, why you have unpleasant feelings."
"To be honest then with you, as I always wish to be, I am afraid, that in consenting to take upon myself the care of a house — I have undertaken more than I can well perform."
"That is a strange idea, Julia," Frank said, smiling. "Where in the world did it come from?"
"I suppose it came, in part, from some ladies whom I visited this morning, and who gave me a short account of their domestic grievances."
"Indeed! That was kind, truly!"
"Perhaps it was not exactly the best way of entertaining a young beginner like myself. Still, that doesn't alter the facts of the case any. The trials and difficulties incident to housekeeping which they related, were no doubt all true."
"That may all be, Julia. But the facts were incident, I presume, to their own household economy, and in no way connected, necessarily, with yours."
"Yes, but the two or three on whom I called, bore the same testimony. And they said that every one had these troubles, because it was impossible to obtain good and intelligent servants."
"But your mother, I believe, never has these difficulties."
"No, I believe not. I have never heard her complain, at least not very often. But then, you see, she is always looking after her servants, and takes good care that everything is done as she wishes it."
"And it is for that very reason, I suppose, Julia, that your mother is not troubled in the way that those ladies you speak of, are. If they would look after the domestic arrangements of their families as carefully as she does, they would find as little cause of complaint."
"Yes, but she gives a great deal too much attention to her family concerns."
"Not more than is required, I presume, to make all around her comfortable." "No, I suppose not."
"Then, I cannot think that she pays any too much attention to these matters. And I am sure that she seems always cheerful, and enjoys good health."
To this Julia, could perceive in her mind no fitting reply, and so she paused for a few moments, and then rising to go to her chamber for the purpose of changing her dress before dinner, said, as she moved towards the door,
"I don't know much about these things, Frank, but I suppose I will learn by and by."
It so happened that when dinner was served up, it was in time, and well cooked. The few general directions given to Rachel in the morning, by Mr. Lawton, which did not cost him five minutes' thought, nor occupy him over a minute in imparting them, and the making of the pudding by Mrs. Lawton, were just sufficient aid to enable her to do all that was required, in proper time and in proper order.
Of course, Julia felt a little encouraged by a result, which, to obtain every day, would have cost her but a small portion of care and attention. But she did not feel inclined to give this, for it was irksome to her. Her mind was averse to the assumption of any care, and she was not able to appreciate the duty which was involved in such an assumption. Consequently, only a day or two passed before there was cause of dissatisfaction and complaint. This Rachel bore with all the patience that she could call to her aid, which was not a great deal, for, though possessed of an honest intention, and natural good sense — she had not enjoyed many advantages of either mental or moral culture, and had not, in consequence, much self-control, founded in true principles of action. She soon, therefore, became annoyed beyond endurance.
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