The Solemn Appeal And Earnest Cry Of A Waiting Soul

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"And now, Lord, what do I wait for? my hope is in you. Deliver me from all my transgressions - make me not the reproach of the foolish." Psalm 39:7,8.

True religion is a solemn thing. And I firmly believe, that when God lays eternal realities with weight and power upon the conscience, He will make His people to know it to be a solemn thing. I do not mean to say, that there are not many times and seasons when it does not lie with weight and power upon the conscience. I am sure there are times with me when I seem to have no more religion, no more spiritual feeling, and can no more trace the work of God upon my conscience, than if there were no God, no heaven, no hell, no judgment, no eternity. But, through mercy, there are times and seasons when my heart is solemnized by the things of God; when they lie with that weight and power upon my soul, that I must feel them, whether I will or not.

Now it seems to me, that when David penned this Psalm by divine inspiration, he was in a peculiarly solemn frame of mind. I do not mean to say that he was not always in a solemn state of mind when he penned the Psalms. But there were, doubtless, degrees in this matter. There were times when he was more solemn; there were times when he was less solemn. But, it appears to me, looking at this Psalm, and viewing it in its different bearings, that when he penned it, it was a time of peculiar solemnity with his soul.

It seems that he had brought guilt upon his conscience by the free and immoderate use of his tongue - a frequent source of condemnation to God's tried family; and being stung with guilt on account of having been unable to bridle this unruly member, he breaks forth thus - "I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue - I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me." Psalm 39:1 The ungodly had taken advantage of expressions that had dropped from his lips; they had misrepresented and misinterpreted the words that he had inadvertently uttered. And being wounded, not merely with the guilt of having spoken unadvisedly, but also with the misrepresentations that had gone forth, he determines to put a check upon his tongue for the future, he would keep his mouth with a bridle, while the wicked were before him. No, more than that, he felt he had sometimes spoken inadvertently before God - that there was need not merely to bridle his tongue before men, still more before the ungodly, but he was not free to give utterance to everything before the Lord.

He felt that in the multitude of words, even before the Almighty, there lacks not sin. He therefore goes a step further, and says, "I was dumb with silence - I held my peace, even from good." Psalm 39:2 - "I felt and found it to be the wisest way to give utterance to none of the feelings of my soul." But did this do? No! There was a holy flame burning upon the altar of his broken heart. "My sorrow," he says, "was stirred." "If I spoke, I had guilt; if I was silent, I felt sorrow." "My heart was hot within me;" so that I could not keep my mouth, any better than my feelings under control - I was obliged to give vent to what was within. "While I was musing, the fire burned;" not merely was "hot" in my heart - not merely smouldering in the embers; but ready to blaze forth. "As I mused and meditated, and sat in solemn silence, revolving in my heart the dealings of the Lord, the flame smouldering in the embers burst forth; .... the fire burned." Then, no sooner did the fire burn than the flame showed itself - my mouth gave vent to the feelings of my soul, "Then spoke I with my tongue." What was this that burst forth? During his silence he had been meditating on various subjects; the solemn realities of eternity especially had been resting upon his heart, 'Therefore,' he says, viewing the shortness of life, 'seeing what a poor dying worm I am - looking at the length of eternity, and the brevity of time - "Lord, make me to know my end!" - let the day of death be before my eyes; let me not put it far away from me. "Make me to know my end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am;" or, as it is in the margin, "what time I have here."

And then, looking at his own life, he says, "Behold, you have made my days as a hand-breadth" - no longer, no wider than the breadth of my hand, which an insect, a worm may crawl over in the space of a few seconds. And my age, however long, if it be prolonged to the utmost verge of man's life' - "my age is as nothing before you," the eternal infinite Jehovah. When I look around me, and view the state of man, "verily every man" - not myself only - but "every man in his best estate" - his wealthiest, his healthiest, his most prosperous condition - "every man" - whoever he is - "in his best state, is altogether vanity" - nothing more, nothing less. In looking around, he saw what the condition of the world was - what a show, what a vain delusion! He says, "Surely every man walks in a vain show!" - their pursuits, their acts, their pleasures, their desire, their anxieties, their fears, are all equally vain. They are all in a masquerade - they are all deceiving themselves - they are all deluded by the arch magician - the god of this world has blinded their minds. "Surely they bustle about; but only in vain." Worldly cares, and temporal anxieties disquiet them; but surely it is in vain; they lead to no result; they bring forth no fruit; they do not terminate in their good, or in God's glory.

And if I go to the rich man, who seems of all men to be the most envied, I see, says the Psalmist, "he heaps up riches, and knows not who shall gather them." When he is laid in the grave, the riches he has been heaping up, and selling his soul to Satan for - who shall gather them? The lawyer, the broker, and the spendthrift may gather all he has heaped together, and scatter them like dust before the wind.

And then he appeals to his own soul in the words of the text. This is the connection of the text with the preceding verses. He turns within. He had been taking a solemn survey around - looking at man in his best estate - viewing him in his most beauteous form - then he turns his contemplation to his own soul, and appeals to God and his own conscience for the truth of what he says, "Now Lord, what do I wait for?" Do I differ from the ungodly? Have I the same mind as they? Am I pleased with the same things as they are? Am I heaping up riches, not knowing who shall gather them? Am I walking in a vain show? "And now, Lord, what do I wait for? my hope is in you. Deliver me from all my transgressions; make me not the reproach of the foolish."

Looking at these words, we may observe there are four distinct clauses in them. Therefore, without making any other division, I shall endeavor to take them up as the Holy Spirit has revealed them, and consider them one by one, endeavoring to trace out the mind of the Spirit in them.

I. We begin with the solemn enquiry, the direct appeal that he makes to the Lord. "And now, Lord, what do I wait for?" Now that I have looked at others - at the condition of men at large - now that I have seen that my own life is but a hand-breath - now that I have viewed the shortness of time, and length of eternity - now, Lord, to what resolution have I come in my own conscience - "What do I wait for?"

Let us see, first, what he did not wait for - in other words, look at it negatively; and then see what he did wait for, and view it positively.

1. Now what did he not wait for? What is meant by the expression "wait?" It implies the expectation of the soul after something - the desire of the heart to receive something. What did he not thus wait for? One thing that he did not wait for was, the good opinion of man. The good opinion of men is the all in all of some people's religion - the grand pivot on which it turns, the hinge on which the door of their profession swings. "What am I thought of? Do I stand high in the opinion of this or that person? Do the minister and people speak well of me? Do they endorse my religion, and stamp it with their approval?" O depth of rottenness! O wretched delusion; O spawn of a deceitful heart! - that a man should be looking at the good opinion which his fellow creatures entertain of him and resting the foundation of his hope upon the fickle, wavering opinion of a worm of earth!

"No," says David, "I do not wait for that." The good opinion of men has often been obtained by the greatest of hypocrites, who have crept into churches for the basest purposes, and while honored and well-esteemed, have had but a lie in their right hand. While some of God's own tried, exercised, and perplexed family have been set at nothing, despised, and trampled down, from the mistake of man's judgment. As Solomon says, "I have seen servants upon horses, and princes walking as servants upon the earth." Ec 10:7

2. In saying to the Lord - "What do I wait for?" - he was not expecting to gain worldly advantage from his religion. If your religion stands upon worldly interest - if to advance yourself in lucre, in honor, in power, in the world, has been the root and core of your profession, it is rotten to the very center. Now what induced you - I address myself to all that profess truth here present - to make a profession? What was the secret motive that brought you out of the world? Was self interest, filthy lucre, honor, praise, admiration - the root and bottom of your religion? Depend upon it, if it was so, it is rotten to the very center. Unless sovereign grace prevents it, that which began wrong will end wrong; that which is based in hypocrisy will end in despair; that which began in deceit will end in an overwhelming curse.

3. In saying "what do I wait for?" - he was not waiting to see which way the tide turned; he was not waiting to observe from which quarter the wind blew; but he was for starting at all hazards, without waiting for the shifting and veering of man's applause. In other words, he was not a time-server. But how many such characters there are in the church of God, whose religion is but one continual time-serving! They never think of the honor of God; they have no single eye to His glory; they have no inward craving after His approbation - no holy fear of His great name - no desire to be right before Him; but are ever watching and waiting, crying and bowing, and looking to the creature, and the creature only. Thus, all their religion is one wretched makeshift - and like a waterman, they are watching which way the tide turns before they venture their bark upon the river of profession.

4. He was not waiting for his old nature to undergo a radical change; he was not expecting to become more holy, righteous, and pious in himself; he was not waiting to be sanctified perfectly, so as to be free from the very being of sin.

Now we will turn and look at the other side of the picture, and see what he was waiting for. "Now, Lord." He appeals to the Most High; he lays his conscience, with all its intricate movements, before the footstool of a heart searching Jehovah. "Now, Lord, what do I wait for? You know." I will show, if God enables me.

6. He was waiting for the testimony and approbation of God in his own conscience. Now a man can never wait for the testimony and approbation of God in his own soul until he is delivered from waiting for testimony and approbation of the creature. "No man can serve two masters - for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other." Matthew 6:24 We cannot be veering and shifting between God and man - we shall be either waiting for the favor and testimony of man, or waiting for the favor and testimony of God. But David could appeal to the Lord and what he was waiting for, was the gracious testimony and inward witness of the favor and approbation of God Himself.

Now, can you say so, in solemn moments of waiting at God's footstool? Is there a looking up, and waiting for, a panting after the inward testimony of God in your soul? - a turning your eyes away from the creature, and looking wholly and solely to God Himself? Is there a thirsting after the testimony of God, after His manifested favor, the witness of His Spirit, the smiles of His love, the sheddings abroad of that blessing which makes rich? If so, you can say, "Lord, what do I wait for?" It is for Your smile, Your approbation, the dropping in of Your grace, mercy, and truth into my conscience.

7. He was waiting for a manifestation and revelation of a precious Jesus. Now the Lord the Spirit will bring all our religion, sooner or later, to the center in the Son of God. He will gather up all our scattered feelings, and concentrate all the spiritual desires, affections, thoughts, and sensations of our soul in Immanuel, "God with us." When the soul is thus guided and led, and brought to center in Jesus all its hopes, all its expectations, all its desires, all the hidden emotions of the divine life; when all the varied feelings of the heart are brought to flow unto, and center in the great High Priest over the house of God - then the soul can say before God, "Now, Lord, what do I wait for?" The appearing of the Son of man, the revelation of a precious Christ, the manifestation of His dying love, the sprinkling of His atoning blood, the shedding abroad of His ineffable loveliness and beauty.

Now, we cannot come here, unless we have seen something of the beauty of the Son of God. We must have had in our own consciences, through the teachings of the Spirit, a discovery of the glorious Person, and perfect loveliness of Immanuel; we must have seen him by the eye of faith, as the only Mediator between God and man, felt our hearts fluttering within us through the solemn sensation produced by the sight, our conscience melted down at His blessed footstool, and every tender affection of our soul flowing unto Him. Until we are brought here, our eyes are looking everywhere but to the right quarter - to our own religion, our own piety, our own evidences; to what we have done, or what we hope to do for the Lord - we are staring and gazing a thousand different ways. But when the Lord gives living faith, brings a precious Jesus near, and shows His glory and beauty, this draws up our spiritual affections, and gathers up all our gracious feelings into His own blessed bosom. Thenceforth all our religion centers in Him, and we can say, "What do I wait for?" - the manifestation of Jesus, the appearing of the Son of God, the kisses of His blessed lips, the smiles of His countenance, and the coming over all the mountains of unbelief of this most precious Immanuel.

8. "What do I wait for?" The teachings of God the Spirit. When we are thoroughly emptied of ourselves - when our knowledge is shown to be ignorance, our wisdom folly, our righteousness filthy rags, and our strength weakness, then we begin to long after the teachings of the blessed Spirit. We must be purged and tried before we can value and receive the treasures of grace. When we are well exercised and tried in our souls, then we begin to long after the teachings of the Holy Spirit, that He would shed abroad the love of God in our soul, visit and guide us, overshadow us with His holy presence, and drop into our hearts His secret unction. Before we are brought here, we do not know the personality of the Holy Spirit. We have no evidence in our conscience that He is God; we cannot worship and adore Him as the Third Person in the blessed Godhead. But when we are brought to this spot, that we know nothing without His teaching, feel nothing without His giving, and are nothing without His making - this makes us pant and sigh after His teachings and leadings; and we are brought to wait in the posture of holy adoration and still quietness for the dew and unction of the Spirit to fall upon our conscience.

9. "What do I wait for?" To know Your will, and do it. We have no desire by nature to know the will of God; or if we know it, we have no desire to do it. For that will is contrary to ours. That will is spiritual - ours is carnal; that will is holy, ours is unholy; that will is pure, but ours is averse to all good. Therefore, by nature we cannot desire to know, and do the will of God. But when He makes Jesus dear and precious to us - lifts our hearts up to Himself - then we desire to know the will of God; and not merely to know that will, but do it when known. Now could we be brought in singleness of eye to know God's will, and do it, it would relieve us from a thousand perplexities. What is the cause of many of our perplexities? Nature bids us one thing, conscience another - the law of God in our mind points one way, and the law of sin in our members points another. It is this conflict within, the warring of the two principles one against the other, so that we cannot walk in the path of obedience, which so perplexes the soul.

But when we are brought to this point. "Lord, let me know Your will; and let me do Your will - at whatever price, at whatever cost; however it may pain my flesh, let me know it - and do it" - whenever we are brought there, though it makes the cross itself more heavy than before, it relieves us of much exercise and perplexity, because it makes the path plain before us.

Now, David could say, on all these points. "What do I wait for?.... Do You not know, Lord, and I wait for them?" This implies tenderness of conscience, simplicity of object, godly tears and ardent desire after God's honor and glory. So that no man can utter these words, sincerely and simply - from the bottom of his heart, in whose soul the Lord has not begun, and is not carrying on. His own gracious operations.

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