The Maiden CHAPTER 7.
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Anna shrunk from meeting her father, on the next morning. What would be her father's views of the course she had taken, she could not tell. She believed that he would not for a moment hesitate to approve her declaration; and yet doubt would cross her mind, and disturb her young heart to its very center.
When the breakfast bell rung, she descended from her chamber. Her first glance was at her mothers face. The expression of that told her instantly, that all was not right. She did not look at her father for some time after. At length her eyes sought his countenance; it was thoughtful, and somewhat stern. What could it mean? Did he wish her to marry a man against whom her whole heart revolted? It could not be! Yet why this change?"
So deeply did the unhappiness evidently felt by her mother, and the stern look of her father, effect Anna, that she found it impossible to swallow her food, and soon retired from the table.
Before Mr. Lee left the house, he took his wife aside, and said, in a serious voice —
"Anna, you must not let this matter go to rest at once. An offer of marriage, such as this, can never be had again for our daughter. Think! Herbert Gardiner is the only son of one of our wealthiest and most esteemed citizens. The character of the family is untainted, and that of the young man, as far as my knowledge goes, unexceptionable. What folly, then, for our child to refuse such an offer on the mere pretense of a repulsion of spheres. For that, if I understand it, is the only objection urged."
"Do you not believe, husband," returned Mrs. Lee, in a voice almost sad, "in the doctrine, that around every individual is a sphere of his moral qualities, as perceptible to the moral sense of another in whom that sense has not become obtuse, as is the sphere of the quality of a rose, in its fragrance, around the rose, and perceptible to the physical sense?"
"That doctrine is no doubt true, but — "
"And do you not believe," interrupted Mrs. Lee, "that our Anna's moral sense is unperverted?"
"I do."
"Is it not well, then, to regard its response as readily as you would regard the response of your tongue, when brought in contact with a noxious or offensive substance?"
"True in the abstract," replied Mr. Lee, whose usually well balanced mind had been thrown from its just equipoise by the flattering and externally advantageous offer made to his child. — "But I am not so sure that it is true in its practical applications now."
"I believe that it is," Mrs. Lee firmly replied. "And, as the mother of Anna, I would rather see her laid, in her maiden sweetness, in the grave, than become the wife of a man for whom she has so strong a feeling of repulsion as that entertained towards Gardiner — no matter what external advantages might be offered. External advantages! What are these, my dear husband! when set against internal discordance? Nothing! Nothing! Dust in the balance!"
Mr. Lee still looked grave. The offer of Gardiner had flattered a certain weakness in his character, and obscured the good sense for which he was distinguished. Mrs. Lee had also felt greatly pleased. But her interview with Anna had made all right, so far as she was concerned.
The conversation which passed between the father and mother on the preceding evening, was, perhaps, the most unpleasant ever held by them. Mr. Lee would not hear to Anna's objection, and Mrs. Lee was equally firm in sustaining her daughter in the position she had taken. The discussion was kept up for a long time, and ceased at last, not in the settlement of the difference, but in the unsatisfied and unhappy silence of both parties. The morning, it has been seen, presented no better aspect to the affair.
Still unreconciled to his daughter's objection to Gardiner, Mr. Lee left home, and went to his office. Nothing more passed between Anna and her mother on the subject during the morning. Both avoided speaking about it. At dinner time, Mr. Lee was grave and silent. His manner affected Anna so painfully, that she was obliged to leave the table. As she did so, her father glanced at her, and saw that her eyes were not only full of tears, but that large drops were falling over her cheeks.
Anxiously did Anna wait for his return at evening, in order, once more, to look into his face, in the hope that its coldness would have passed away. But the more Mr. Lee thought about the matter — the more he was dissatisfied. There was, therefore, no light in his countenance for his daughter's eye. There still rested a heavy cloud upon his brow. This continued for three days; at the end of which period, he was to give an answer to the application made by Gardiner. The nearer the time approached for meeting the young man, the more unhappy did Mr. Lee appear in the presence of his family. On the morning of the day on which a reply to Gardiner's proposition was to be given, he seemed unusually grave. Poor Anna was wretched. Never in her life had she suffered so acutely. She loved her father with the purest feelings — with the deepest tenderness — there was no sacrifice that she dared make, that would not have been made for his sake, cheerfully. But more had been asked than she could, in conscience, do. For, with her, the marriage rite was felt to be a religious ceremony, and the marriage union one that should be made in the sight of Heaven — thus she had been taught to regard them by her mother, who, since her seventeenth birthday, had sought, gently and almost unconsciously to her child, to lead her to think of marriage as the most holy act of a woman's life.
There were times, it is true, when she felt like yielding to her father's wishes; or, to what she had the strongest reasons for believing were his wishes — of giving herself up, passively, if her heart were crushed in doing so. But the precepts of her mother had been too deeply stored in her mind. She understood clearly, that in the sight of Heaven, she dared not make such a sacrifice. That marriage was too holy a thing to be perverted.
Anna knew that on this day an answer would have to be given to Mr. Gardiner — and she therefore, understood why her father seemed more than usually oppressed in his feelings. After he had gone out, she went up to her own room, and there spent the whole morning alone. Anxiously did she await his return at dinner time. As the hour of his coming approached, the unhappy girl became more and more wretched. An undefined fear took hold of her — a dread of some impending evil. When the clock struck three, and she heard, soon after, her father's well-known footstep along the passage, and on the stairs, her heart stood almost still. Mr. Lee went direct to his wife's chamber. Ten minutes more of anxious suspense passed, when Anna heard the ringing of her mother's bell. A servant went up to her room. Then the steps of the same servant were heard ascending to her chamber. The door opened.
"Your mother wishes to see you."
The maiden startled, and turned as pale as death. But she obeyed the summons, though with a sinking heart. At her mother's door she paused for nearly a minute, and strove, by a powerful effort, to subdue her agitated feelings; but she strove in vain. When she entered, she was hardly conscious of anything beyond a fear of something undefined. But her eyes sought instantly her father's face. A great change had taken place. Instead of the stern, cold, offended look that his countenance had worn for three days — it was subdued, and tender, and full of affection. He reached his hand towards her, and she sprang into his arms, and sunk weeping upon his bosom.
"Dear father! you love me still!" she at length murmured, lifting her head, and looking him in the face.
"Love you, my child? I have always loved you; but now more deeply than ever."
"Then I am happy — happy!" she said, again letting her head fall upon his bosom. I want no other love but the love that makes this home so sweet. It is the first love — the best love — and the most unselfish of all."
Mr. Lee drew his arm tightly around his child, as a response to the sentiment she had just uttered.
"Yes, my daughter," he said, "the loves that make our childhood's home happy, are the most unselfish. May they be long continued to us."
"Amen," was the solemn response, breathed half involuntarily, yet sweetly, by the maiden, as she clasped tightly her father's hand.
Mrs. Lee's eyes were full of tears; but her whole face was elevated and glad. She looked calmly on the scene passing before her, silently lifting her heart in thankfulness for so good a child.
"Will you pardon the late strangeness of my manner towards you, Anna?" Mr. Lee said, after a little while, raising his daughter up, and looking into her face.
"Do not speak of it, father," she returned, quickly. "If you love me — if you do not blame me — if you will let me still call this my home, and you my best beloved, I ask no more. My cup will be full — full to the brim."
"Blame you, Anna! No! If there has been any blame — then I must bear it. You have been right. Love you? We cannot tell you how much we love you. And may the day be far distant when you shall go to another home!"
"You have made me happier, dear father, than I have ever been," Anna said, struggling to hide the emotion that was swelling in her bosom. "Do not again feel offended with me. You have taught me to act from a sense of right in all I do — you have wisely sought to elevate my understanding, and have given me principles by which to determine all myactions. These principles I will ever strive to make rules of conduct. By them I will seek to determine between right and wrong, and choosing the right, I will endeavor to abide by it, in all firmness and conscientiousness."
"Do so, my child, even if your father, as strange as such a thing may be, should rise up in opposition. Obey him just so far as he wishes you to to obey the truth he has taught you, but no further. You are now a woman, and by your own acts you must be justified or condemned. Take no step in life, without a clear perception that it is right. Seek aid and light from all who are wiser than yourself, but let their wisdom guide you, if guided by others at all. If you cannot see with them, do not act from them. Avoid this, as you would a great evil."
After a slight pause, Mr. Lee added, "I saw Mr. Gardiner today, and declined from you his offer. Deeply thankful am I that you had the resolution to refuse him. You acted with true wisdom, and a noble firmness that I shall ever admire. Of all that occurred, your mother will inform you at another time."
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