The Maiden CHAPTER 17.
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A few evenings after the events which transpired at the house of Mr. Armitage, as just described, had taken place — Hartley, who could not erase the image of Anna Lee from his mind, determined, in a moment of half-desperation, to call upon her once more.
"If she dislikes me, I will see it, and I need some certainty," he said to himself.
Under this feeling, he visited her.
"Mr. Hartley is in the parlor," said a servant, as she opened the door of the room where Anna was sitting with her parents.
Mr. Lee looked into the face of his daughter, and saw that the announcement had disturbed the quiet tone of her feelings. But whether the effect was pleasing, or otherwise, he could not tell.
"Tell him I will be down in a few minutes," Anna said, rising. She took a light and went to her own room, where she re-arranged her hair, put on a collar, and made some trifling alterations in her dress. She lingered a few minutes after this, to give her feelings, that were more than ordinarily ruffled, time to calm down. Then she descended to the parlor.
Hartley had been waiting for her in a state of nervous uncertainty. Upon the character of her reception of his visit, hung all his hopes. If she smiled upon him — he would be the happiest man in existence; if she repulsed him by her manner — he would be the most miserable. He was in this state of mind, when Anna came in, and advancing towards him, offered her hand with a graceful ease, and a manner so frank and warm, that the young man took instant courage. In a little while they were conversing together, perfectly at ease, and each interested in and silently approving the sentiments uttered by the other. When they separated, both felt happier than they had been for weeks. Why it was so with Anna, she hardly dared acknowledge to herself. To Hartley, as far as he was concerned, the matter was plain as daylight. He did not allow many days to elapse, before calling again. To his great delight, he was received as kindly as before; and even half-blind as he was from over-modesty and bashfulness, could see that there was something warmer in the face and eyes of the maiden, than expressed an ordinary friendly feeling towards an acquaintance. He now visited Anna regularly, and was ever a welcome guest.
On one occasion, after Hartley had paid close attention to her for two or three months, there was a freer exchange of sentiments, and the conversation was upon subjects that brought out from both an expression of the leading principles that ought to govern in the common affairs of life. Hartley was pleased to find that Anna had sound views upon all the questions that came up; and she was no less gratified to perceive in him, as she had often before perceived, a basis of good sense, a clearly discriminating mind, and a love of truth for its own sake. They had been speaking of the beauty of moral excellence, when Anna remarked, and she did so to see how far his principles led him —
"But to come to the real truth at last, Mr. Hartley, moral excellence is nothing, if the seal of true religion is lacking."
Hartley looked at the maiden, but did not reply.
"In fact," she resumed, "unless all our actions are regulated by Divine laws, our morality has but a slender base to stand upon — is, in fact, only an assumed, and not a realmorality, and when the storms of temptations arise, and the floods beat against it, it will fall."
He still remained a silent, but admiring listener; and she went on.
"A man may render civil obligations to his country, because his personal interest is involved in doing so; and he may act in all the varied relations of life with external faultlessness, and yet not be in heart a moral man, or a good citizen. He may obey the laws, because he thereby secures his own good; and he may be hospitable and kind, and generous — from a love of the world's good opinion. But, if he could believe that it would be more to his interest to violate the law — what would hold him in obedience to the law? Or, if he were placed in circumstances where he could not forfeit or gain the world's good opinion — would he be generous and hospitable? But, if he is a good citizen, and a moral man from a Christian principle — that is, because civil laws and moral laws are at the same time Divine laws — can even he be tempted to break them? No. He only, therefore, who is governed by Christian principles, is, in reality a good citizen, or a truly moral man. Is it not so, Mr. Hartley?"
"Doubtless, all you have said is true," returned the young man. "But who around us, is thus governed by religious principles?"
"Many, I hope."
"Can you name one?"
The maiden's cheek became slightly suffused, as she replied, after a moment's hesitation,
"Yes, one, at least."
"Who is it."
"My father. And it is to him that I am indebted for the light that my own mind has received on so important a subject."
"Do you not know another?"
"I do. My mother acts from the same high obligations."
"And you do the same?"
Hartley looked earnestly into his companion's face, as he said this, that not a single varying shade of its expression might be lost.
"I try to do so," was the modestly spoken answer; "but I am conscious, every day, that my efforts are altogether imperfect. That my character is not yet based upon an ever-abiding love of the truth for its own sake."
"I am glad to hear you say so," Hartley returned, with a smile.
"Glad?" And Anna looked at the young man with surprise.
"Yes, glad. Like you, I am struggling to make the laws of moral and civil life, one with the laws of Divide order; but my efforts are imperfect, and my progress very slow. Sometimes I seem not to advance at all. Is not that your own experience?"
"It is; and I sometimes fear will ever be. If I advance at all, my progress is so slow that I do not perceive it. But why should you be glad at my imperfections?"
Hartley ventured to take her hand. She yielded it passively. Looking steadily into her mild, blue eyes, he said —
"Because I feared that you were perfect; and if so, I would have been without hope."
The eyes of the maiden fell suddenly. A burning blush covered her whole face, yet she did not withdraw the hand that was held by her companion.
"But, like myself, you are conscious of imperfections — conscious of weakness and evil — and, like myself, are struggling to rise above them," continued Hartley, tightening his hold upon the small, soft hand, that lay so passively in his. "Shall we not help each other to rise into a higher and better life? Shall we not, together, struggle with temptation, and together find a Sabbath rest, when we have conquered?"
Anna could not reply. But her heart was fluttering with joy. She could only let her hand remain in that of her lover; and she did let it remain, and even returned his tight clasp with a gentle pressure.
When Hartley passed from the door of Mr. Lee's dwelling, he was bewilderingly happy. Anna had consented, with her patent's approbation, to accept his hand in marriage.
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