The Days That Are PAST
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You remember that I spoke in my last chapter of what Moses did before he died. He was directed to go up on Mount Pisgah, and take a glimpse of that Promised Land which lay before him. But we can hardly imagine that this was all he did. It is more than likely that another purpose for which he ascended that high hill was, that he might from thence take a survey of all the way that he had already traveled in his wilderness journey. And I said that it would be well for you now and then, to look back on all the years that you have passed through. Let me now help you a little in doing this.
First take a good searching look, and see what sins have marked your past life. And, as you look back, you will feel, I dare say, that there is many an act which you would gladly blot out if you could. There are many days you would like to live over again, in the hope that you would live them better. There are many words you would like to recall. There are many a deed which you would give worlds to undo. There are many a bad thought which you fostered, and which has left a stain behind, that even time cannot wear out.
I know it is very painful to be thinking about our past sins; but we must not shrink from it. It is folly to deceive ourselves, and imagine that they have not been committed. There they are — and God sees them, if we will not. His eye marked them at the time, and it marks them still. They may almost have faded away from our memory; but God remembers them — He forgets nothing.
Aged people are very apt to imagine that what is past and forgotten by them — is also blotted out of the book of God's remembrance. Often for instance, when the sins and follies of their youth are spoken of, they just heave a passing sigh, and that is all. They think that such things are excusable in times of youth, and that God will not be extreme to mark what was done amiss in those days. They imagine that the bye-gone past will not be laid to their charge, as they have since become wiser and more thoughtful.
But is it so? Is God such a one as ourselves? Can any length of time wear away our sins from His recollection? Is it not written that even 'for every idle word that men shall speak — they must give an account?'
I am sure it is very good for us all, and especially for those who are drawing near to the close of life, to look fairly at the sins that we have committed. It is folly to close our eyes upon them and persuade ourselves they do not exist. Indeed, if we have any spiritual life in us, whatever else we forget — surely we shall never forget those hateful sins which have defiled our souls.
But it is not enough to look at them in a sort of general way. We must fix upon them one by one, and draw them forth from their hiding-places. There must be a close searching for them, as with a candle — an honest, hearty, diligent search, so that not one shall escape us.
'And what is the good of this?' you are perhaps ready to ask. Is there any use in making ourselves unhappy? The thing is already done — can it be undone?
Oh, surely it is far better to discover our sins now — than to have them brought to light for the first time when we appear before God. It is far better to know how we stand with God now — than to learn it in that world where there is no more hope for the sinner.
And what are we to do with our sins when we have found them out? is there any way by which they can be gotten rid of? Or must they lie like dark spots on our souls — like unpaid debts which can never be cancelled? No, dear friend; no. There is a way — one only way — by which every sin committed, and every deed left undone, can be blotted out forever.
Christ has bled for sinners on the Cross. He has died that sinners might live. And He is able, at this moment, not only to pardon your every sin — but to cover you with His perfect righteousness, and to make you His forever; 'He is able to save to the uttermost, all who come unto God by him.'
Go now to Jesus, and ask Him to give you repentance. Ask Him by His Holy Spirit to touch your heart — to make you hate your sins, and mourn over them with godly sorrow. Oh, it is good for us to feel grief for our sins. And depend upon it, we shall grieve over them, if we are brought under the power of God's grace.
But remember, sorrow and tears will not wash out the stain of sin. They cannot remove one single atom of our guilt. No; it is only the sacrifice of Christ that can pay the debt. In Him alone forgiveness can be found. 'The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin.'
Here, then, my dear friend, is the good of finding out our many sins. It is that we may get every one of them pardoned — it is that we may be made happy in Christ our Savior. He is all power and love. He is able and willing to save. He says, 'Come unto me, and I will give you rest!' 'Though your sins be as scarlet — they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson — they shall be as wool!'
But there is something more we should look back upon, besides our sins; we should look back upon our many mercies.
Think of the numberless acts of love and kindness which God has shown you during the years that are past. Moses called to mind, I dare say, those forty years in which the Lord had so greatly blessed him. The whole path which he had trodden was indeed strewed with mercies — mercies to himself, to his family, to his people. We are told that for forty years their 'clothing did not wear out, neither did their feet swell.' When they were thirsty, 'He brought streams out of the rock, and caused waters to run down like rivers.' When they were hungry, 'He fed them with bread from heaven.' He did not lead them by the shortest road, nor by theeasiest path — but it was 'by the right way,' to their promised land.
And has not the Lord dealt as graciously with you? Have not goodness and mercy followed you all your days? Think of your many deliverances from dangers. Think how you have been spared — while others have been cut off. Think of the many blessings which came to you — when you so little deserved it. Think of God's patience with you — when you provoked His anger. Think how He made one thing and another work round for your good. Many a time you said within yourself, 'This thing is unfortunate — it is all against me;' and perhaps that very thing turned out to be for your greatest good.
If you are a sincere Christian, God's past mercies should be a pledge to you, of those that are to come. You may well plead with David, 'O God, you have taught me from my youth: now when I am old and grey-headed, O God, forsake me not!'
You may expect further trials as you reach the remaining stages of the wilderness. But you may be sure that the manna with which you have been fed, will not fail; nor the cloud of protection which has sheltered you, be withdrawn — until your wilderness wanderings are over. Be assured, God has never yet forsaken a worn-out Christian pilgrim. He never yet neglected an aged servant. You know that He has promised you, 'I will be your God throughout your lifetime — until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you!' The last words of good old Dr. Guyse were, 'O my God — you have always been with me, and will not leave me now.'
Think of all this, and it will warm your cold heart. You will find some love kindling within you, as you call to mind the goodness of that heavenly Friend, who has watched over you so lovingly, and cared for you from your childhood until now.
And oh! if you are a true servant of God — if you have been brought to know and love your Savior — if the path of godliness has been your path — then is there not one mercy which out-tops every other in your case? Does not your heart throb with gratitude — when you think of that grace which called you out of darkness into the blessed light of God's truth, which turned your feet out of the path of sin and misery along which you were then hurrying, and brought you into the way of peace? Of all your mercies, there is none so great as that which led you to Christ and made you a partaker of His great salvation!
It is said of John Newton, that although his memory failed him in his old age, there were two things which he never forgot — one was, that 'he was a great sinner;' and the other was, that 'Jesus was a greater Savior!'
Let me urge you then, at once to take a look BACK on your past sins, and on your past mercies. This is especially needful for you who have lived many years in this world, and whose hour-glass has but a few grains yet to run out. Do so in a humble and thoughtful spirit, and I believe you will find that much good will come from it.
Take this, and any other counsels which I offer you, as coming from one who really cares for you. Yes, I feel for the aged. I know their trials, their infirmities, and their difficulties. But I also know that the Savior Himself cares for you. He has in store many and great blessings, which He is quite ready to bestow upon you. And what I desire, in this book, is to lead you to the enjoyment of them, so that yours may be a blessed and happy old age.
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