Tell of Their Virtues
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While we are allied to poor humanity, do not tell of their faults, but of their virtues let us speak. It is one of the most common occupations of women when they sit down together, to discuss the characters of others. Some, in refined and elegant language, brand the worthy and deserving with base designs and false actions. Others, in the coarse language of the gutter, consign their victims to shameful places. Both classes of lady-slanderers, dip in the same gall, with only this difference; that one uses a fine camel's hair pencil — the other, a shoe-brush.
How often in forming a new and apparently desirable acquaintance, when casually speaking of someone outside, have we been pained by thoughtless and vituperous remarks!" Very true, but did you know she was so bad a housekeeper?" or "Were you aware that she has a temper which she cannot command? or a husband whom she tries to manage?"
Now it is an evident fact that all have their faults — and is it not equally certain, that all have their virtues? A certain person may not be an industrious worker — but feel the influence of her sunny smile!
See how the cold warm in her presence, and the sad forget their sadness. Another may have a quick temper, and say bitter things; but when the pillow is crumpled by a feverish head, and feverish hands are tossed outside the coverlet, behold her, forgetting self in her eagerness to alleviate suffering; making cooling drinks for the parched lips, and softening the dread visitant by her gentleness. Another lacks in something else, but she ministers to the poor, and the needy call her their friend. Seek the angel side, dear reader — it is always to be found.
No matter how poor, how wretched, nor apparently forsaken of good — there is an angel side. The carrion crow scents the vile carcass afar off, and with the instinct of his nature seeks and makes it a part of himself. So we, when we seek out the deformities of our neighbors to prey upon them, imbibe the contagion of those faults and render ourselves less pure. We should set our faces as a flint against scandal — we should — but do we? If we listen with pain, is it not also in silence? And if we are silent, do we not virtually seal ourapprobation to what is said? Could we not, if so minded, in that firm and quiet and yet ladylike manner which cannot offend, decline to hear gossip of our neighbors? Instead of that, is it not too often a sweet morsel? Do we not join our censure? Do we not hunt in the corners of memory, to bring to light some trifling corroboration of the affair? And then, worse than all, do we not too often consent to be the petty second or third hand retailer of the sweet and scandalous item?
Thus confidence is destroyed, and self-respect weakened. We cannot feel in the presence of that friend, whose enemy we have become — inasmuch as we did not defend her. She may have charming qualities, but the shadow of slander has fallen upon them. We are on the alert to interpret every action by the language of the foe whose bitter words have poisoned the fount of confidence. We have allowed ourselves to look at flaws, and consequently we search for them. What is a name on the church books, or a good standing in society in the eyes of God — if we have not the law of kindness in our tongues? Nothing, and less than nothing. The divine spirit by which we are taught that charity covers a multitude of sins, can see in all our pretensions, only the tinkling brass and sounding silver, and He will judge us accordingly.
Oh! that womanly spirit that always finds something sweet to say of others — how seldom do we meet with it! And yet it is here, bubbling somewhere from some fresh hearts like a perennial spring. Almost too good and gentle for a viperous world, but ripening and perfecting for Heaven. Let us imitate such spirits; let us emulate them, and strive to see which of us can vie most successfully with each other, as we speak of our friends and neighbors, in telling of their virtues!
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