Saved as by Fire! CHAPTER 10.
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For awhile Granger went regularly to church; but after a few months, his place in the family pew was often vacant.
"I don't see you at church as much as usual," said I, on meeting him one day.
"Well — no," he replied, speaking with some hesitation of manner, "and I don't know that I've any valid excuse for staying away. But, the fact is, that the pastor is so intolerably dull and prosy, that I get tired to death. He doesn't seem to think at all; but just to open his mouth and let what happens to be in his memory come out. Old stereotyped forms of speech, and sentences that mean anything or nothing as you choose to interpret them, make up the staple of his sermons. You don't get an good idea from him once in a month."
"Go somewhere else. To hear Mr. Bennett, for instance. But don't stay away from church."
"I've been to hear Mr. Bennett a number of times. But one tires of mere picture-painting, though the artist has rare skill in his line. He says many beautiful things in an eloquent way; and so do the orators and the poets. But a poor, tired and tempted soul — will get little help from his preaching. It is pleasing and entertaining; but after that is said, about all is said. Ah, my friend!" his brows drew closely together, and his voice fell to a serious tone, "your churches and your preaching are all well enough for easy-going, good sort of people, with a kind of natural heavenward drift; but they don't do much in the way of getting hold of us restless, challenging, hardened fellows, who want to know about the reasonof things; and who, unhappily, are in the drag of a current that is bearing us down, down, down, it may be, to eternal ruin!"
There came a stern, almost angry expression into his face.
"You mustn't feel that way Granger. It isn't good. The preachers may not be all we could wish; but they are, for the most part, sincere men, and in the effort to do the best they can for the salvation of souls."
"Oh, yes. No doubt of it. But it rarely happens that I find one who can feed my hunger."
Was it his own fault — or the fault of the preacher? Was he not hungering again for the flesh-pots of Egypt, and loathing the manna and the quails? I had my fears. What had been done for him during his four months at the asylum? It was a question of momentous interest. Had there been a cure — or only a temporary suspension of diseased action?Did he not stand in as much danger today, as before he placed himself under treatment? Was not his fall again, only a matter of time?
These questions pressed themselves on my mind and gave me much concern. Think as closely and as earnestly as I could on the subject, I was not able to see wherein lay his immunity. He was back once more in an atmosphere tainted with disease. Predisposition had not been eradicated, and old exciting causes were acting again. As time went on, and the fine health he had brought home with him from the asylum, gave place to the exhausted nervous condition which is sure, sooner or later, to follow excessive devotion to business — would not the old hunger for alcohol arouse itself and become irresistible?
The more I considered this view of the case, the more my concern increased; and I felt that something far more radical must be done for Granger than had yet been accomplished, before his reform was a thing assured. His drifting away from church influences was, I feared, only an indication of the awakening of old desires, and the turning of his thoughtsdownward to the things in which they had once found gratification.
I was much relieved on the Sunday following, to see Granger in church. He sat for most of the time during the services in an attentive attitude; and it struck me that his manner was unusually subdued and serious. I noticed that while a particular lesson from Scripture was read, that his eyes were not taken from the clergyman for a single moment. It was the one hundred and twenty-first Psalm: "I will lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence comes my help. My help comes from the Lord, who made Heaven and earth. He will not suffer your foot to he moved: he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper: the Lord is your shade upon the right hand. The sun shall not smite you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve you from all evil: He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forever more."
Other passages read or chanted during the services, seemed as if especially designed to meet his case, and lead him to put a higher trust in God. "Those who trust in the Lord shall be as Mount Zion, which cannot be removed, but abides forever. As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about His people from henceforth even forever." "The Lord is near unto all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him. He also will hear their cry, and will save them." "Like as a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are but dust."
I did not get an opportunity to speak to Granger after church, but I was struck with the seriousness of his face as he passed along the aisle. His eyes were cast down, and he did not notice anyone as he moved with the crowd.
"What do you think of Granger's case?" I asked of Mr. Stannard, not long after this.
"I greatly fear for him," was replied.
"He has kept himself straight since his return from the asylum."
"Yes; but the saving power of such institutions has its limits. They are good as far as they go, and have helped to restore many men to good citizenship. I say nothing against them. I wish their number were increased. But there are cases in which they rarely, if ever, make permanent cures; and Granger's is one of them. The appetite for drink has taken too deep a hold. For him, I fear, there is no help in man. Only God can save him; and if he does not go to God, humbly and prayerfully — his case is next to hopeless."
"I am sorry you take so gloomy a view of the matter, Mr. Stannard. Will not God help him, unless he prays to Him?"
"Can He help him, if he does not?"
"I don't know. There's something just here that I do not clearly understand."
"Can a mother feed her babe, though her milk is full, if it turn its mouth away? It may be fainting with hunger, and the mother's heart may be full of love and pity, but if it will not touch the bosom, what can she do? Prayer is not an arbitrary service, but an attitude of the soul. A simple turning of the spirit, conscious of its own weakness and sinfulness — to the source of all goodness and strength, and accepting what God is ever seeking to give; but which He can only give to those who truly desire to receive. God is always coming to us and seeking to save us; but unless we turn to Him, and look to Him, our rescue is impossible. It is in ourselves that we are lost; and if we will not come out of ourselves, wherein are all our pains and desolations, how can God save us?"
"I don't know. The way ought to be made very plain and easy."
"It is plain and easy. Only to turn from self to God. Only to take the hand that is forever reaching down. Only to ask and receive," Mr. Stannard replied. "God will not give — to those who will not take."
"Yes, yes; all doubtless true. But how shall one turn from self to God? How grasp the hand that is forever reaching down? How take what God perpetually desires to give?"
"Only when a man feels that in and of himself he can do nothing, and that unless help comes from above, he must perish — can he really turn from self to God. Before that, he trusts in his own strength; and so long as he does this, divine strength cannot be given."
"Why not?"
"Can a man use, what he will not take? So long as one trusts in himself, he does not use the strength of another."
"And so, until a man feels his utter helplessness, God will not reach down and save him?" said I.
"Of what avail is God's offered hand — if the man will not take it? Of what avail is God's strength — if the man will not use it? Not until he is in utter despair of himself — does he really accept help from above. Until then, he trusts to an arm of flesh, and not to the all-conquering and all-sustaining power of God. In the very moment that a man comes into this state of despair and lifts thought and desire heavenward — he prays effectually; takes hold of God; gets his feet upon a rock; comes within the sphere of Divine protection; is saved from the power of his enemies. Forever saved? Yes, if he keeps his hold upon God, and remains within the sphere of His divine protection. How shall he maintain this hold? Only through steady looking and right living. He must cease to do evil, and learn to do well. Must make the laws of God, the laws of his life. If this is not done God will not make him to dwell in safety."
"For a man like Granger, do you think, there is no security but in the church?"
"Unless he dwells in God — he cannot dwell secure; and the church is God's kingdom on the earth."
"Does not Scripture say that the kingdom of God is within us?"
"Yes. God's kingdom is a spiritual kingdom, and can have no real existence but in the souls of men. But it is internal and external, because man is internal and external; and has its internal health, as well as it external ceremonials and forms of worship. The laws of this kingdom are the precepts of the Holy Word; and only those who keep these precepts in the heart and life — are really the subjects of this kingdom. All such are free from the power of Hell; for God dwells in them and around them."
"Must, then, a man join the church to come into God's kingdom?"
"I think he will find that kingdom by the way of a church door, more easily than in any other way. We are none of us so strong that we can afford to do without the help that comes from association with our fellow-men. God did not make us to stand alone, but in mutual dependence. This is as true in spiritual as in natural things. And so the church, to be a power with men, must be external as well as internal."
"You may be right about all this," I made answer. "Certainly I would feel more confidence in Granger's reformation, if I knew that he was oftener at church. I was glad to see him there last Sunday, But I have felt more concerned for him since then, than usual. The reason may appear to you a little strange."
"What is it?"
"I have never seen his face so serious, nor his manner so absorbed, as they were during the services of the morning. While the lessons from Scripture were read, his eyes were scarcely turned for an instant away from the minister. In all the church there was not, apparently, a more deeply interested listener."
"A reason for hope rather than concern," said Mr. Stannard.
"That depends on the cause of this unusual sobriety of demeanor," I answered. "My thought has been, that the long repressed appetite is beginning to assault him once more; and that, day by day, the conviction is becoming stronger and stronger in his mind that it will, sooner or later, acquire the mastery again. His coming to church, and especially his demeanor at church, may be the signs of his sense of weakness and danger; an effort to gain help from higher influences — a half-desperate reaching out of his hands in the dark, for something to which he may cling, when the waters that are moving upon him rise higher and gain the force of a resistless flood."
"If this is so, he is turning to the Strong for strength, and seeking help where it can alone be found."
"But don't you see, that if this is so, Mr. Stannard, how desperate the case may be? The floods are rising against him. He feels that his strength is going. He is half-blind — half-desperate. Will he take hold of God? If not, what then? Ah! sir, I cannot but feel a shiver of suspense as I realize, in thought, this awful crisis for a human soul."
"In which it has only to cry out, as it turns from self to God; 'Save me, Lord, or I perish!' to be lifted from the flood."
"But what if it fails in this? If it cannot, or will not?"
"There is no such thing as cannot for a tried and tempted soul. It can look to God, and take hold of God, if it will."
"But," I said, pressing the question, "if it will not?"
The light went out of Mr. Stannard's face, and it grew very sober.
"It was because of this 'I will not,'" he replied, "that the Lord, in His tender mercy, bowed the heavens and came down into our very debased humanity, that we might see Him as a Divine Man, and feel the warmth of His compassion, and know Him as our friend and Savior, and that He might inspire in us the 'I will,' by which He could lift us back again into the pure and happy life which we had lost."
"But if this cannot now be inspired into the soul of Mr. Granger," said I, "what then? Must he fall in his hour of trial and darkness?"
"If the external strength which he has acquired is not sufficient for him — the considerations of honor and good citizenship; of worldly ambition and prosperity; of love and regard for his wife and children; of personal well-being and happiness — and he will not take God's strength instead — then what shall save him? I know not. But let us hope that he is going to God in the right way. I believe that he is."
"Ah! if one could know! I feel that another great crisis has come to our friend. If he should not pass it safely, he may fall never to rise again."
"He can never fall so low," was answered, "that God's love will not be still reaching down and seeking to save him. All day long He will stretch out His hands to him; all day long call after him in tones of love and compassion, 'Son, give me your heart!' and it will not matter how low he may fall, nor how far away he may wander into the wilderness of sin and shame — the moment he hearkens to that voice and turns from himself to God, he will be in the fold of safety. It is a good thing for Granger that he is feeling his ownhelplessness, and beginning to look for help from above. He may not find it now, because he may not be ready to give his heart to God; but if, trusting in his own strength, he should fall again, God will not forsake him, but still go after him, and it may be find him so weak, and helpless, and despairing — that he will no longer hold back, but throw himself into the loving arms of his divine Savior. Then will be born in him, a new life from above; and if he lives this life — he shall never fall again; for it is a heavenly life. Not a mere life of faith and feeling, but of love to God and good will to man, that continually shows itself in a keeping of the commandments in the spirit, as well as in the letter."
"It is your belief, then," said I, "that until Mr. Granger becomes a Christian man, there is very little hope for him?"
"Very little, I fear."
"He must unite himself with the church?"
"It would be better for him. But joining the church will not make him a Christian man. That is the effect of an internal change — not of an external relation. There must be a newspiritual birth before there can be a new man. 'Marvel not that I said unto you, You must be born again.'"
"Ah! if we knew just what that meant," I said.
"That which is born of the flesh is flesh," said Mr. Stannard. "Let us rise higher in our thought. The soul has been down into the world, where it has gone by way of the senses, and has lived the life of the world, which is a selfish life, and evil because selfish. The more intense this life, the more opposite to the life of Heaven has it become. Now, unless a new life is born in the soul, it can never come into Heaven, which is a state of love to the Lord and the neighbor. How this life is born, is the great and important question. Let me make it as clear to your understanding as lies in my power. This new birth is effected by means of Divine truth cast into the mind as a seed, and the new spiritual birth has its beginning in the very moment that a man endeavors earnestly and by the help of God, to obey this truth. For to do, is to live. If the doing is in obedience to Divine truth, which teaches that a man shall not only love God, but cease to do evil — then the new man, a weak and almost helpless infant as yet, begins really to live and grow; and the Divine sphere is around about it, and all the powers of Heaven are arrayed for its protection. It is absolutely safe, this new-born child, so long as it takes the sincere milk of the Word, and lives thereby. But in danger the moment it turns itself away therefrom, and attempts to feed on the husks that can only sustain the lower life of selfishness and sin. The spiritual man cannot exist on these. It must have heavenly food, or it will die."
"Then it is not the washing and purifying of the old natural man, but the birth of a new spiritual man, which must live and grow until it attains the full stature, as the apostle says, of a man in Christ Jesus?"
"The natural man is for this world. The spiritual man for Heaven. We must come into the Kingdom of Heaven as little children, not as full-grown spiritual men. He called a little child and set him in the midst of them, and said, 'Truly I say unto you, except you are converted, and become like little children, you shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.' First a weak child; afterwards a strong spiritual man, ruling in righteousness over all the lower things of natural life, and bringing them into heavenly order — establishing the kingdom of God in the natural man, and doing the will of God in the earth, as it is done in Heaven."
"Taking this view," I said, "is not the confident state of mind we so often see in young converts, one of false security, and attended with great danger? We hear them speak with the assurance of strong men."
"While yet only babes in Christ. Yes, this state is one of false security, and, therefore, its dangers are great. No wonder that so many stumble — that so few keep to their first love. They use strong meat instead of milk; try to lift themselves to the stature of full-grown men, and to walk with long strides; are bold and confident. But being only little children, they fall; having no root themselves, they endure but for a while, and when tribulations and persecutions arise because of the Word, by and by they are fall away."
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