Pride and Prudence CHAPTER 6.
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One year passed away, during which Mrs. Ashton had been in a sad condition. Living all that time upon the sale of her jewelry, she had nursed, in idleness, the misery that was consuming her. But now a new concern aroused her from her selfish stupor. The treasure upon which she had drawn, was nearly consumed. Where was even their daily bread to come from? George's earnings would go but a small way towards supporting them. Something like despair settled on her heart at the dreadful prospect. While in this mood, her sister came in to see her.
"Still drooping and melancholy, Anna," she said, "This ought not to be. It is time for you to rouse yourself."
"How can I rouse myself, Mary? It is easy to talk — but to act is a different matter. Who can be contented in view of impending poverty? We have but little left, and I know not what is to become of us."
"Mary," said Mrs. Este, seriously. "It is time for you to think of doing something. Both you and Jane can help George in supporting the family, and you ought to do it."
Mrs. Ashton's face became flushed, and then turned very pale.
"Do something Mary!" she at length, said in an excited tone.
"What do you mean? That I should take in sewing as you do, or — " But she paused suddenly, and looked her sister in the face, agitated and confused.
"I mean just that, Anna," replied Mrs. Este, in a quiet, kind tone. "You and Jane are no better than George, and he has to work. And how can you sit idly at home, while he is laboring for you from morning until night with an anxious heart, and then able only to make a tantalizing pittance. He is ready to sacrifice health, and everything for you — and will you, from mere false pride, add to the burdens he bears for you so cheerfully. Help yourselves all you can now, and, by and bye he will be able to do more for you. But don't, my dear sister, discourage your dutiful son."
"Mary you don't know what you are talking about," said Mrs. Ashton, in a faint, but troubled voice.
"Mother, I think aunt is right," said Jane. "I know brother feels discouraged at the prospect before him. He looks more and more troubled every day. It can surely be no moredisgrace for us to work, than for him. Aunt Mary works, and I am sure she has shown herself to be better than all the idle fashionable people, who could forget us in a day. I see things differently now, mother, from what I did. I am ready to begin at once to try and do something. But I am at a loss to know where to begin. Can you direct me, aunt Mary?"
"If you are willing to work, Jane, something can, no doubt, be found for you to do," said Mrs. Este. "But you must make up your mind to endure the weariness of hours of prolonged application. You cannot earn a great deal; for women's wages are but a poor pittance at best. But you can earn as much as will support yourself, I think with your present ideas of what is necessary for you to have."
"I do not want much, aunt."
"By bringing your ideas within your means, dear niece — you will begin to find contentment. If you have desires beyond your means — you will be unhappy. You have had a whole year in which to allow your thoughts to fall back from high hopes and brilliant prospects. Now is the time for you to begin to think correctly of the present. The past is gone. Regrets cannot recall it, nor a vain pondering over its lost delights, make you happy."
"I know it all, dear aunt! I have felt it all," said Jane, the tears, in spite of her efforts to control herself, falling over her cheeks.
"Then you are beginning to see right, Jane, and I am glad of it. Now, as you are so willing to do something, I have in this bundle, half a dozen shirts to make, for which the pay will be half a dollar each. As I have other work at home, and am pressed for time, I will leave you four of them. Do you think you can make them?"
"I don't know, aunt. I can sew neatly, but I never made a shirt."
"Never mind, your mother can show you. She used to make fine shirts for our father, beautifully."
"Mary, how can you!" exclaimed Mrs. Ashton, suddenly. But with an effort she kept down her feelings of mortified pride, and said, more calmly, and with an air of forced resignation, "Yes, Jane, I can show you."
"Then I'll take them, aunt — and thank you!" said Jane.
"That is right, Jane. But I must now hurry home, for I have much to do; so good day to you. And may you keep up a brave heart."
On that evening, when George Ashton came home, tired and dispirited, he was surprised to find Jane at work, busily plying her needle, a thing he had not seen her do for a long time.
"Why, Jane, how is this? What's the matter, now?"
"Your aunt Mary has been here today, and has put it into Jane's head that she ought to try and earn something, and has actually got her some shirts to make," said Mrs. Ashton.
"Aunt Mary takes great liberties, I think," rejoined George, indignantly. "The fact is, of late, we can't do anything without her interference. She must advise and direct every movement. I for one, am getting tired of it. Jane, you must do no such thing. I will work night and day, rather than you shall so disgrace yourself."
"George, you greatly wrong our kind, good aunt," said Jane, quietly laying aside her work for the present. "We have had a good deal of talk today, and she has fully convinced me that it is right that we should help you by trying to help ourselves. She has opened my eyes to what is truly honorable. In urging upon mother the necessity of doing something, she used this language about you — 'You and Jane are no better than George, and he has to work. And how can you sit idly at home, while he is laboring from morning until night, with an anxious heart, and then able to make only a miserable pittance. He is ready to sacrifice health, everything for you, and will you, from mere false pride, add to the burdens he bears for you so cheerfully. Help yourselves all you can now, and, by and bye, he will be able to do more for you. But don't, my dear sister, discourage your dutiful son.'"
The countenance of George flushed while his sister was speaking, and when she finished, he covered his face with his hands, unable to keep down his rising emotion.
"Did she say all that, Jane?" said he, after some moments.
"Yes, George, every word of it."
"O, Jane, how we have wronged a noble woman! I am forced to acknowledge her worth. Hereafter I shall endeavor to atone for my neglect, by treating her with a respect amounting almost to reverence."
"You run on wildly, George," said Mrs. Ashton petulantly.
"No, mother! We have sorely wronged our aunt, and yet, like a guardian angel, has she lingered near us, when we needed direction; and even while I maintained towards her an unkind manner, has she been thinking for me, and sympathizing in my labors and cares.
"Mother, I would be worse than an evil spirit, did I not relent in my proud bearing, and prouder feelings towards her. What have I to be proud of, over her? She is my superior!"
He was excited, and spoke in an exciting tone. But the mother's very nature had been warped by selfishness and false pride — and she could not see beauty in moral excellence.
"That is all very fine, George. But I cannot myself see much that is noble or superior in Mary. She has shown herself a good, kind creature towards us; but nothing more than one sister had a right to expect of — "
"Mother!" said George with startling emphasis — "did we — did you — " but he paused, for he felt that he was about saying more to his mother, than a child had a right to utter.
"We will waive the subject, if you please, George," replied Mrs. Ashton, in an offended tone.
After tea, Jane resumed her sewing, which gave great pleasure to George, now that his thoughts had taken a right direction. He read aloud for an hour or two, during which time Jane employed her needle busily, but the mother sat idly communing with her own unhappy thoughts.
Jane never felt happier in her life, than she did on Saturday, when her aunt carried home the shirts for her, and returned in the evening with more work, and two dollars for what she had already done. The four bright half dollars were her own earnings, and she felt prouder of them, than of anything she had ever possessed.
"I cannot always get work for you Jane, nor take it home for you. But I wish to make your beginning as pleasant as possible. I have much to do, and have to work late and early to get comfortable food for myself and your cousins. After awhile, it will be necessary for you to carry home your work, and make contracts for yourself. I know, Jane, that this will be a sad trial, but let a consciousness of discharging your duty, keep you up."
"She shall never do it, Mary! What! have my daughter a beggar for work?" said Mrs. Ashton warmly.
"Anna," said Mrs. Este, gravely, "it is fully time, now, for you to lay aside your proud, and I must call them, foolish and wicked notions. I have borne much from you and forgiven all; but it is trespassing rather too far upon me, to keep constantly indicating that it is disgraceful for yourself or Jane to do for yourselves — what you are willing to have me do for you. You must stop this, if you expect me to aid you by my advice and direction. I have more than enough to do for my own children, and always neglect them, when I do anything for you. It will take severe trials yet, to wake you up to right thoughts and feelings, and these trials will come, if you do not rouse yourself speedily to action."
"Spare us, dear aunt!" interposed Jane, with tearful eyes. "We have been very proud and foolish, and it is hard to lay aside old feelings at once. But we are coming on. By and bye, I can do what to think of now, makes my heart shrink within me."
"I know, Jane, you are doing nobly. Persevere, and look up for strength. In good time you shall reap, if you faint not."
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