Pride and Principle CHAPTER 6.
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Mrs. Pimlico returned home silent and gloomy. She had not taken half a dozen steps on leaving the little circle, whose free expression of opinion upon her conduct had excited and wounded her, before she was painfully conscious that she had forfeited her claims to being well-bred, by enacting a scene. The manner of Mr. Glanville satisfied her that he was innocent of any intention of insulting her. There was, therefore, no excuse for her loss of self-possession, which she ought, as a lady, to have maintained under all circumstances. The consciousness of this painfully mortified her, even more than the censure that had been passed upon her conduct. What she had done, had been done in accordance with the requisitions of a law of etiquette. She had acted in obedience to that law, and there rested her justification. Still, there was a common-sense truthfulness about Mrs. Goodwin's remarks, which had been received with evident satisfaction and full assent by all who had heard her; and among these were those who stood high as exponents of true social laws. The fact that they approved these sentiments, gave them a force in her mind, far above what the mere annunciation of them by her sister-in-law could possibly have had, especially as they were strongly condemnatory of her conduct, which was merely the offspring of pride. These facts awoke in her mind conflicting thoughts, with suddenly awakening doubts as to whether she were not, in her eager desire to be a thorough-bred gentlewoman, actually violating the real principles from which every lady ought to act.
Thus mortified, pained, and perplexed, did Mrs. Pimlico return to her home, after leaving the brilliant and happy company at Mrs Glanvilles. The fact, that her sister, of whose vulgarity she had been ashamed, should have made such a favorable impression, and have been pronounced by one whose opinion in such matters none would think of questioning, a genuine lady--stung her a good deal, more especially as she had not attracted any attention at first, and had been finally condemned by all who had expressed an opinion, as having acted in most gross violation of lady-like principles.
In silence she rode home, in silence entered the house, and in silence retired to her chamber and her bed; but not to sleep. Her mind was in a tumult, that seemed less and less disposed to subside, the more her thoughts dwelt upon the events of the evening. For, the more abstractly and intently she reflected upon what had taken place, and pondered over what had been said, the less satisfied did she become with herself. Every now and then a truth, opposed to her peculiar notions of things, would gleam up distinctly in her mind, contrasted with her opposite views, and cause her heart to bound with a quicker pulsation, and the blood to burn upon her cheeks. The consequences of her conduct towards the Misses Malcolm, as much as she tried to persuade herself that she had acted right, too palpably demonstrated the folly of making arbitrary laws superior to common perceptions of right. But what tended partially to dash the scales from her eyes, was the fact, that, while she had built so much upon a strict adherence to form, under all circumstances, the very people whom she had supposed equally tenacious with herself, did not hesitate to declare, that the internal spirit of kindness to all was superior to themere dead external. That they were right, some remains of common sense plainly told her, although she but half believed this kind of vulgar testimony.
On the next morning, she met Mrs. Goodwin and Helen, with perfect self-possession, and with her usual calm manner. The latter was entirely ignorant of the reason of her mother's withdrawal from the party. In fact, she was not aware that she had gone home until about to go herself, and then the remark that her mother had wished to leave at an earlier hour, satisfied her. Mrs. Pimlico avoided any allusion to the previous evening; and Helen, fearful that some breach of propriety had been observed by her, shunned any allusion herself, lest a rebuke and lecture should follow. As for Mrs. Goodwin, she was too much of a lady to touch upon any subject that she knew would give another pain. The party at Mrs. Glanville's, was, there fore, by tacit consent, an disallowed subject.
Much to Helen's relief, the day passed without any allusion to the Glanvilles, or any rebuke for violated laws of social fellowship.
On the fourth day, a good deal to Mrs. Goodwin's surprise, the carriage was ordered, and Mrs. Pimlico gave notice that she was about to call upon Mrs. Glanville, and wished her sister-in-law and Helen to accompany her. They went, of course. Mrs. Pimlico met Mrs. Glanville, and even her husband, who happened to be at home, with the most perfect ease and self-possession, sat for some ten or twenty minutes, conversing freely all the while, and then returned to her carriage with Mrs. Goodwin and Helen, and proceeded to make several other calls, and, among others, upon one or two of the ladies who had made so free to condemn her conduct. With these, she was as self-possessed as she had been at Mrs. Glanville's, and interchanged with them, the compliments of the day, and entered into the passing gossip of the hour as freely as she had ever done before.
At all this, Mrs. Goodwin was somewhat surprised. She could not but admire the perfect acting of Mrs. Pimlico, which involved a most powerful effort of self-control. Few women could have so admirably sustained a part in life as difficult to perform; but pride was a powerful motive in the bosom of Mrs. Pimlico, and carried her safely over the trying effort to break down the barrier that her own lack of self-possession had thrown up.
But, from that time she was a changed woman. Conscious that she had carried her rigid practice of rules of conduct to an extreme that had attracted toward her annoying attention, and stirred up in the minds of even the most fastidious a question as to the superiority of form over substance--she deemed it but prudent to take an unobtrusive course, and thus allow matters quietly to come back to a state of equilibrium. Satisfied in her own mind that Helen knew all about the occurrence at Mrs. Glanville's, she avoided saying anything further to her about the observance of all the arbitrary forms of an over-strained etiquette; and, in a little while, her daughter began to feel more freedom, and to act with the ease, grace, and propriety so natural to her. This was a source of much gratification to Mrs. Goodwin.
A few weeks passed away, and the time for Aunt Mary to return home arrived.
"I am no doubt a little selfish," she said to Mrs. Pimlico, a few days before her departure; "but I cannot help wishing to rob you of Helen, even though she has been with you so short a time. Don't you think you could spare her for a month or two, or three?"
"I hardly know what to say, about that," was the somewhat indifferent reply of the mother, who had given up all idea of gaining Albert Glanville for her daughter's husband, since her own unfortunate blunder. "You must sound Mr. Pimlico on that subject. I don't know what he will say. But, as far as I am concerned, if it is Helen's wish, I shall not object to her return with you for a short time."
Mr. Pimlico, after some reflection, consented, and much to Helen's delight, she learned that she was, once more, even though for but a short period, to become a member of her aunt's quiet and well-arranged household.
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