Parental Desire, Duty, & Encouragement 4

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3. If you would give either meaning or force to anything you say, add to instruction a holy and suitable EXAMPLE. We are all, to a very considerable degree, influenced by example, and especially children—for 'imitation' is the regent of their soul; and those who are least capable of reason, are most swayed by example. They are remarkably acute in observing the slightest deviations in others from those precepts which are enjoined upon them, and more readily believe their eyes than their ears.

Example derives much of its force from these three circumstances—the regard we feel for the person in whom it is exhibited; the agreement of our taste with his conduct; and the frequency which we possess of witnessing that conduct—and when these things all combine, we are irresistibly carried away by their force, like the little rivulet swelling into the mighty torrent of the mountain. Parents, remember that all these circumstances meet in your example, to give it power over the minds of your offspring, if your conduct be any way inconsistent with your profession as Christians. Such, alas! is the degeneracy of man by nature, that evil has abundantly more power over us than good; it falls in with the current of the heart. Hence there is in their minds a principle which gives amazing force to everything wrong in your conduct; for, at the same time, it is an example always before their eyes, and the example of one whom duty constrains and nature prompts them to love. They are much more likely to do as you do--than as yousay. While they are able to reply, "You who teach others; don't you teach yourselves?" all the convictions which you would fasten upon their minds will bound off, like arrows from an impenetrable shield.

And I am fearful that it is too necessary to say something on the nature of that example which every Christian parent should place before the eyes of his children. It is not sufficient that the copy be without the foul and dismal blots of immorality; it must exhibit all the lines and characters of the beauties of holiness—a mere blank may not teach them any flagrant vice, but it will not instruct them in any spiritual excellence. The example of many seems only to guard their offspring against going to perdition in the broad high road of profanity, while it leaves all the more secret, though not less ruinous paths of destruction open to their choice.

I would recommend, as a most important point, a constant, sincere, unostentatious display of eminently spiritual religion—a line of conduct, throughout the whole of which, true godliness is seen to reign; in which there should be knowledge guiding affection—the ardor of the Christian, without the wildness of the enthusiast—holy joyfulness, without sinful levity—exemplary holiness, without monkish gloom—vigilance in serving God, without indolence in worldly duties—piety towards Jehovah, blended with meekness, benevolence, and affection towards mankind—religion surrounding with its radiant glory, the father, the husband, the master, and the neighbor; like the brilliant gem, sparkling amidst the polished gold—in short, morality, in all its branches, springing from sterling godliness.

There should be uninterrupted consistency of conduct. A Christian in the church, a worldling everywhere else—a saint at the family altar and a cruel tyrant at the family table—always at public worship and never in private worship—fawning and courteous towards the richer brethren, and contemptuous towards the poor—one day all for God, and the next, all for the world, Satan, and self. Such an example as this, if it does anything, will do mischief—for your children will soon find out whether there be consistency in your conduct; and a defect here will counteract all the influence of partial and occasional godliness. I entreat you therefore to consider the importance of consistent spiritual religion; for as your offspring very soon understand that divine aphorism, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."

If they hear and see nothing in your conduct, except on a Sabbath day, that directs their minds to eternal objects, they can hardly be persuaded that those objects engage much of your affection. When they see you so absorbed in worldly concerns, as to secure scarcely any time for the duties of the closet or the family, running through them with negligent haste, sometimes omitting them altogether--what can they imagine, but that religion is merely a thing to talk about. If you thus convert your house into a temple of Mammon, can you wonder to see them growing up the worshipers of that idol, which, by your conduct, you have taught them to adore? When they see you indulging in as much conformity to the world as you can, without giving up the very profession of Christianity, what force will your exhortation carry with it, when you thus admonish them, "Be not conformed to this world?" When your house is never the resort of the righteous, but only of the mirthful, the worldly, and the rich, how can you expect that they will listen to your advice, to choose only the the godly as their companions?

If then, you would wish your children to go to heaven, do not think merely of sending them there, but lead them; for, as Tillotson observes, "to give them good instruction, and a bad example, is but beckoning to them with the head, to shew them the way to heaven; while we take them by the hand, and lead them in the way to hell."

Before I leave this part of my discourse, I would also insist upon the necessity of not only setting them good examples at home, but of using the utmost caution that they be not exposed to the contagion of bad example abroad. It should therefore be your business to select for them suitable companions. "He that walks with wise men, shall be wise; but a companion of fools shall be destroyed." One bad associate, negligently admitted to your children, may be the first step to irretrievable ruin. Many a wretch, from the scaffold, has traced back his infamy to this source—and many, in a still more dreadful situation, are cursing the day in which they first formed an unsuitable connection with a companion who led them astray from God.

Of course, this establishes also, the importance of choosing a proper person to superintend the general education of your children. I wish there were no just ground for reproach on many Christian parents, for neglecting this momentous subject. It is a lamentable fact, to the existence of which the experience of multitudes can testify, that one single week at school has frequently effaced from the mind the good impressions which were the result of years of parental solicitude and instruction at home. There is scarcely one single act of a parent's conduct which requires so much holy caution as the choice of a school, and yet with many people scarcely one that receives so little. What a shameful neglect is it, both of Christian principle and parental care, to make choice of a situation for the benefit of a few showy and useless accomplishments, or, at best, literary advantages, where the soul, the immortal soul, is the last object of regard. Christian fathers and mothers! how can you ask of God with any degree of confidence, that he would save your children from being devoured by the roaring lion, when you yourselves have thrown them into his very den?

4. Let it not be supposed that any system of education can be complete without PRAYER.

"Every good gift, and every perfect gift, comes down from the Father of lights." Without the sacred influence of the Divine Spirit, the most judicious, affectionate, and persevering efforts will fall short of the desired end. It is, however, an encouraging thought, that, as no heart is so hardened by age and sin, but that the omnipotent grace of God can renovate it; so there is none so tender in childhood but that he can inscribe upon it his name and his image. Let us therefore "pray without ceasing;" since it holds as true, with respect to children, as to the most aged and obstinate transgressor, that "Paul may plant and Apollos water--but God gives the increase." Not one soul was ever converted to God independently of his grace. This work is entirely his own, yet he generally performs it by blessing human means. But I need not enlarge on this head, as it is, perhaps, that part of parental duty which is less neglected than any other by real Christians. Multitudes pray, who do nothing else; but let such remember that we must seek as well as ask.

Having thus considered the means which should be used by every Christian parent for the salvation of his children, I will,

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