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Next Part LETTER 4.Letters to a Young Wife,from a Married Lady'.
LETTER III.
My Dear Lizzie,
A severe illness has prevented my answering your kind letter for some weeks, but now I am quite well again, and hope to continue without further interruption our pleasant correspondence.
Your last letter I have read and re-read, not without, I must confess, some little secret misgiving as to whether you have not taken one step to mar the happiness of your married life, now so perfect in its beauty.
You speak, in your own whole-souled affectionate manner, of a 'friend' with whom you have met, and whose kindness has so won your affection and gratitude, that you have opened your whole heart to her. Now, my dear Lizzie, that same little heart of yours is quite too precious a volume to be thus shown to every newcomer who wins upon you by a few kindly words. You have given it to your husband — let it be kept, then, only for his gaze; open every page of it for his inspection, and let him correct whatever errors he may find traced thereupon. Believe me, dear, you will find no truer or more unselfish confidant, than him to whom you have pledged your marriage vows.
Do not think I wish to discourage all friendships with your own gender. Oh, no — they possess too great a charm to be thus rudely thrown aside. To me, there is hardly a more lovely sight in the world, than the union of two congenial spirits in the tie of sincere and unselfish affection. But I do not dignify with the name of friendship, those caprices of the moment, which so often assume its title and usurp its place. A young girl meets another at an assembly — she is pleased with her manners; thinks her . . .
amiable — because she smiles frequently;
intellectual — because she converses easily;
winning and fascinating — because she receives some kind attentions from her. Forthwith they become 'devoted friends'. In a few weeks they discover that they are not so congenial as they imagined, and the 'friendship' is broken off.
Away with such desecration! One might as well compare the scenes of forest, grove, and field in a theater — to those painted by nature's own hand; as this momentary impulse — to that noble, unwavering affection which gives such beauty and dignity to the female character. There are many imitations of the 'precious gem of friendship' — but although they are equally bright and beautiful at first, they soon tarnish and show themselves in their true and ungilded state.
There is another part of your letter, dear Lizzie, which gives me much uneasiness. After your 'exciting' description of the evening party you attended, you say that you were quite abelle there, and that you met again Paul, your former admirer, who was very devoted to you. Lizzie, dear Lizzie, do not think thus, do not act thus, do not write thus a second time. Remember that you are a wife. A sacred, solemn duty is yours, which will require all your powers to perform with unwavering fidelity. Let me be frank with you, darling, and tell you that love of admiration has ever been your greatest fault, and is one of the most dangerous that a young wife can have. Check it, control it now, before it has led you farther into a snare which may involve your everlasting happiness! If you find it impossible to drive it away from you entirely, endeavor to center it upon your husband. Think of . . .
your personal appearance only so far as it will please him;
your dress, so far as it will gratify his taste;
your intellect, as it will make his home agreeable;
your musical powers, as they will enable you to give him pleasure;
learn to view all your charms and powers of pleasing in this light; improve them with this view, and all will go well with you and your married life.
I was quite charmed with your description of your sweet little home, dear Lizzie! What a lovely place it must be, and what a beautiful prospect of happiness there is before you!
You must be very watchful, dear, of your husband's tastes and peculiarities. Always continue to have his favorite seat ready when he comes home wearied with the day's business; his favorite slippers ready for immediate use; his favorite dishes set before him. There is much influence to be gained over a man by thus proving to him that he has been thought ofwhile absent, and his particular fancies remembered. Always have a cheerful home, a bright fire, a happy welcoming smile — and, believe me, you will have a husband who never strays from home.
I was very happy to learn that you tried the experiment I recommended, and met with so pleasant a result. Cultivate the cheerfulness you seem to have regained; do not allow a shadow to rest upon your spirit, and you will be doubly rewarded in the devoted affection of your husband, and the approval of your own conscience. Adieu for awhile.
Next Part LETTER 4. Letters to a Young Wife,from a Married Lady'.
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