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In general, masters must remember that they have a master in heaven, who will call them to account. "Knowing that your Master also is in heaven." Eph 6:9. More particularly—

(1) Masters must take care to provide for their servants. As they appoint them work, so they must give them their food in due season. Luke 17:7. They should see that the food is wholesome and sufficient. It is most unworthy of some governors of families, to lay out so much upon their own back, as to pinch their servants' bellies.

(2) Masters should encourage their servants in their work, by commending them when they do well. Though a master is to tell a servant of his faults—yet he is not always to pluck on one string—but sometimes to take notice of that which is praiseworthy. This makes a servant more cheerful in his work, and gains the master the love from his servant.

(3) Masters must not overburden their servants—but proportion their work to their strength. They must not lay too much load on their servants, to make them faint under it. Christianity teaches compassion.

(4) Masters must seek the spiritual good of their servants. They must be seraphim to kindle their love to religion; they must be monitors to put them in mind of their souls; they must bring them to the pool of the sanctuary, to wait until the angel stir the waters. John 5:4. They must seek God for them, that their servants may be God's servants; and must allow them time convenient for secret devotion. Some are cruel to the souls of their servants; they expect them to do the work about the house—but abridge them of the time they should employ in working out their salvation.

(5) Masters should be mild and gentle in their behaviour towards servants. "Forbearing threatening." Eph. 6:9. "You shall not rule over him with rigor—but shall fear your God." Lev 25:43. It requires wisdom in a master to know how to keep up his authority, and yet avoid austerity. We have a good copy to write after our Master in heaven, who is "slow to anger, and of great mercy." Psalm 145:8. Some masters are so harsh and implacable, that they are enough to ruin a good servant.

(6) Be very exact and punctual in the agreements you make with your servants. Do not prevaricate; keep not back any of their wages; nor deal deceitfully with them, as Laban did with Jacob, changing his wages. Gen 31:7. Falseness in promise is as bad as false weights.

(7) Be careful of your servants, not only in health—but in sickness. If they have become sick while in your service, use what means you can for their recovery; and be not like the Amalekite, who forsook his servant when he was sick; but be as the good centurion, who kept his sick servant, and sought to Christ for a cure. 1 Sam 30:13; Matt 8:6. If you have an animal which falls sick, you will not turn it out—but have it looked to, and pay for its cure; and will you be kinder to your horses than to your servants?

Thus should masters carry themselves prudently and piously, that they may gain honour from their servants, and may give up their accounts to God with joy.

[5] The NATURAL father, the father of the flesh. Heb 12:9. Honour your natural father. This is so necessary a duty, that Philo the Jew placed the fifth commandment in the first table, as though we had not performed our whole duty to God until we had paid this debt of honour to our natural parents. Children are the vineyard of the parent's planting, and honour done to the parent is some of the fruit of the vineyard.

II. Children are to show honour to their parents.

[1] Children are to show honour to their parents, by a reverential esteem of their persons. They must "give them a civil veneration." Therefore, when the apostle speaks of fathers of our bodies, he speaks also of "giving them reverence." Heb 12:9. This veneration or reverence must be shown:

(1) Inwardly, by fear mixed with love. "You shall fear every man his mother and his father." Lev 19:3. In the commandment the father is named first—but here the mother is first named. Partly to put honour upon the mother, because, by reason of many weaknesses incident to her gender, she is apt to be more slighted by children. And partly because the mother endures more for the child.

(2) Reverence must be shown to parents outwardly, both in word and gesture.

In word: and that either in speaking to parents, or speaking of them. In speaking of parents, children must speak respectfully. In speaking of parents, children must speak honourably. They ought to speak well of them, if they deserve well. "Her children arise up, and call her blessed" (Prov 31:28); and, in case a parent betrays weakness and indiscretion, the child should make the best of it, and, by wise apologies, cover his parent's nakedness.

In gesture. Children are to show reverence to their parents by submissive behaviour, by uncovering the head, and bending the knee. Joseph, though a great prince, and his father had grown poor, bowed to him, and behaved himself as humbly as if his father had been the prince, and he the poor man. Gen 46:29. King Solomon, when his mother came to him, "rose off his throne, and bowed himself unto her." 1 Kings 2:19. Among the Lacedemonians, if a child had carried himself arrogantly or saucily to his father, it was lawful for the father to appoint whom he would to be his heir. Oh, how many children are far from thus giving reverence to their parents! They despise their parents; they carry themselves with such pride and neglect towards them, that they are a shame to religion, and bring their parents' grey hairs with sorrow to the grave. "Cursed be he who sets light by his father or his mother." Deut 27:16. If all who set light by their parents are cursed, how many children in our age are under a curse! If such as are disrespectful to parents live to have children, their own children will be thorns in their sides—and God will make them read their sins in their punishment.

[2] Children are to show honour to their parents, by careful obedience. "Children, obey your parents in all things." Col 3:20. Our Lord Jesus herein set a pattern to children. He was subject to his parents. Luke 2:51. He to whom angels were subject—was subject to his parents. This obedience to parents is shown three ways:

(1) In hearkening to their counsel, "Hear the instruction of your father, and forsake not the law of your mother." Prov 1:8. Parents are, as it were, in the place of God; if they would teach you the fear of the Lord, you must listen to their words as oracles, and not be as the deaf adder to stop your ears. Eli's sons hearkened not to the voice of their father—but were called "sons of Belial." 1 Sam 2:12, 25. And as children must hearken to the counsel of their parents in spiritual matters, so in affairs which relate to this life as in the choice of a vocation, and in case of entering into marriage. Jacob would not dispose of himself in marriage, though he was forty years old, without the advice and consent of his parents. Gen 28:1, 2. Children are, as it were, the parents' proper goods and possession, and it is great injustice in a child to give herself away without the parents' permission. If parents should indeed counsel a child to match with one that is impious or Popish, I think the case is plain, and many of the learned are of opinion that here the child may have a negative voice, and is not obliged to be ruled by the parent. Children are to "marry in the Lord;" not, therefore, with impious people, for that is not to marry in the Lord. 1 Cor 7:39.

(2) Obedience to parents is shown in complying with their commands. A child should be the parents' echo; when the father speaks, the child should echo back obedience. The Rechabites were forbidden by their father to drink wine; and they obeyed him, and were commended for it. Jer 35:14. Children must obey their parents in all things. Col 3:20. In things against the grain, to which they have most reluctance, they must obey their parents. Esau would obey his father, when he commanded him to fetch him venison, because it is probable he took pleasure in hunting; but refused to obey him in a matter of greater concernment, in the choice of a wife. But though children must obey their parents "in all things," yet "it is with the limitation of things just and honest." "Obey in the Lord," that is, so far as the commands of parents agree with God's commands. Eph 6:1. If they command against God, they lose their right of being obeyed, and in this case we must unchild ourselves.

[3] Honour is to be shown to parents in relieving their needs. Joseph nourished his father in his old age. Gen 47:12. It is but paying a just debt. Parents brought up children when they were young, and children ought to nourish their parents when they are old. The young storks, by an instinct of nature, bring food to the old ones when, by reason of age, they are not able to fly. Pliny calls it "a law of the storks." The memory of Aeneas was honoured for carrying his aged father out of Troy when it was on fire. I have read of a daughter, whose father being condemned to be starved to death, who gave him in his prison suck with her own breasts; which, being known to the governors, procured his freedom. Such children, or monsters shall I say, are to blame who are ashamed of their parents when they are old and fallen into decay; and when they ask for bread give them a stone. When houses are shut up, we say the plague is there; when children's hearts are shut up against their parents, the plague is there. Our blessed Saviour took great care for his mother. When on the cross, he charged his disciple John to take her home to him as his mother, and see that she lacked nothing. John 19:26, 27.

III. The reasons why children should honour their parents are:

[1] It is a solemn command of God, "Honour your father," etc. As God's Word is the rule, so his will must be the reason of our obedience.

[2] They deserve honour, in respect of the great love and affection which they bear to their children; and the evidence of that love both in their care and cost. Their care in bringing up their children is a sign their hearts are full of love to them. Parents often take more care of their children than for themselves. They take care of them when they are tender, lest, like young fruit, they should be nipped in the bud. As children grow older, the care of parents grows greater. They are afraid of their children falling when young, and of worse than falls when they are older. Their love is evidenced by their cost. 2 Cor 12:14. They lay up and they lay out for their children; and are not like the raven or ostrich, which are cruel to their young. Job 39:16. Parents sometimes impoverish themselves to enrich their children. Children never can equal a parent's love, for parents are the instruments of life to their children, and children cannot be so to their parents.

[3] To honor parents is well pleasing to the Lord. Col 3:20. As it is joyful to parents, so it is pleasing to the Lord. Children! is it not your duty to please God? In honouring and obeying your parents, you please God as well as when you repent and believe. And that you may see how well it pleases God, he bestows a reward upon it. "That your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you." Jacob would not let the angel go until he had blessed him; and God would not part with this commandment until he had blessed it.

Paul calls this, the first commandment with promise. Eph 6:2. The second commandment has a general promise to mercy; but this is the first commandment that has a particular promise made to it. Long life is mentioned as a blessing. "You shall see your children's children." Psalm 128:6. It was a great favour of God to Moses that, though he was a hundred and twenty years old, he needed no spectacles: "His eye was not dim, nor his natural force abated." Deut 34:7. God threatened it as a curse to Eli, that there should not be an old man in his family. 1 Sam 2:31. Since the flood, life is much abbreviated and cut short: to some the womb is their tomb; others exchange their cradle for their grave; others die in the flower of their youth; death serves its warrant every day upon one or other. Now, when death lies in ambush continually for us, if God satisfies us with long life, saying (as in Psalm 91:16), "With long life will I satisfy him;" it is to be esteemed a blessing. It is a blessing when God gives a long time to repent, and a long time to do service, and a long time to enjoy the comforts of relations. Upon whom is this blessing of long life entailed—but obedient children? "Honor your father, that your days may be long."

Nothing sooner shortens life, than disobedience to parents. Absalom was a disobedient son, who sought to deprive his father of his life and crown; and he did not live out half his days. The mule he rode upon, being weary of such a burden, left him hanging in the oak between heaven and earth, so as not fit to tread upon the one, or to enter into the other. Obedience to parents spins out the life. Nor does obedience to parents lengthen life only—but sweetens it. To live long, and not to have a foot of land, is a misery; but obedience to parents settles land of inheritance upon the child. "Have you but one blessing, O my father," said Esau. Behold, God has more blessings for an obedient child than one; not only shall he have a long life—but a fruitful land: and not only shall he have land—but land given in love, "the land which the Lord your God gives you." You shall have your land not only with God's leave—but with his love. All these are powerful arguments to make children honour and obey their parents.

Use one. If we are to honour our fathers on earth, much more our Father in heaven. "If then I am a father, where is my honour?" Mal 1:6. A father is but the instrument of conveying life—but God is the original cause of our being. "For it is he who has made us, and not we ourselves." Psalm 100:3. Honour and adoration is a pearl which belongs to the crown of heaven only.

(1) We show honour to our heavenly Father by obeying him. Thus Christ honoured his Father. "I came down from heaven, not to do my own will—but the will of him who sent me." John 6:38. This he calls honouring God. "I do always those things which please him." "I honour my Father." John 8:29, 49. The wise men not only bowed the knee to Christ—but presented him with "gold and myrrh." Matt 2:11. So we must not only bow the knee, give God adoration—but bring him presents, give him golden obedience.

(2) We show honour to our heavenly Father by advocating his cause, and standing up for his truth in an adulterous generation. That son honours his father who stands up in his defence, and vindicates him when he is calumniated and reproached. Do they honour God who are ashamed of him? "Many believed on him—but did not confess him." John 12:42. They are bastard-sons, who are ashamed to own their heavenly Father. Such as are born of God, are steeled with courage for his truth; they are like the rock, which no waves can break; like the adamant, which no sword can cut.

(3) We show honour to our heavenly Father by ascribing the honour of all we do to him. "I laboured more abundantly than they all—yet not I—but the grace of God which was with me. 1 Cor 15:10. If a Christian has any assistance in duty, any strength against corruption—he rears up a pillar and writes upon it, "Hitherto has the Lord helped me." As when Joab had fought against Rabbah, and had likely to have taken it, sent for king David, that he might carry away the honour of the victory. Just so, when a child of God has any conquest over Satan, he gives all the honour to God. 2 Sam 12:27, 28. Hypocrites, whose lamp is fed with the oil of vain-glory, while they do any eminent service to God, seek to honour themselves; and so their very serving him is dishonouring him.

(4) We show honour to our heavenly Father by celebrating his praise. "Let my mouth be filled with your praise, and with your honour all the day." Psalm 71:8. "Blessing and honour and glory and power, be unto him who sits upon the throne." Rev 5:13. Blessing God is honouring God. It lifts him up in the eyes of others, and spreads his fame and renown in the world. In this manner the angels, the choristers of heaven, are now honouring God; they trumpet forth his praise. In prayer—we act like saints; in praise—we act like angels.

(5) We show honour to our heavenly Father, by suffering dishonour, yes, death for his sake. Paul did bear in his body the "marks of the Lord Jesus." Gal 6:17. As they were the marks of honour to him, so they were trophies of honour to the gospel. The honour which comes to God, is not by bringing the outward pomp and glory to him, which we do to kings; but it comes in another way, by the suffering of his people, by which they let the world see what a good God they serve, and how they love him, and will fight under his banner to the death.

God is "worthy of honour." "You are clothed with honour and majesty." Psalm 104:1: What are all his attributes, but glorious beams shining from this sun? He deserves more honour than men or angels can give him. "I will call on the Lord who is worthy to be praised." 2 Sam 22:4. He is worthy of honour. We often confer honour upon those who do not deserve it. To many noble people, who are sordid and wicked, we give titles of honour: they do not deserve honour; but God is worthy of honour. "Blessed be your glorious name, which is exalted above all blessing and praise." Neh 9:5. He is above all the acclamations and triumphs of the archangels. O then, let every true child of God honour his heavenly Father!

Though the wicked dishonour him by their flagitious lives, let not his own children dishonour him. Sins in them are worse than in others. A fault in a stranger is not so much taken notice of, as in a child. A spot in black cloth is not so much observed—but a spot in white linen, attracts everyone's eye; so a sin in the wicked is not so much wondered at, it is a spot in black; but a sin in a child of God is a spot in white linen, which is more visible, and brings odium and dishonour upon the gospel. The sins of God's own children go nearer to his heart. "When the Lord saw it, he abhorred them, because of the provoking of his sons and of his daughters." Deut 32:19. O forbear doing anything that may reflect dishonour upon God. Will you disgrace your heavenly Father? Let not God complain of the provocations of his sons and daughters; let him not cry out, "I have nourished and brought up children—and they have rebelled against me!" Isa 1:2.

Use two. Does God command us to honour father and mother? Then let children put this great duty in practice; be living commentaries upon this commandment. Honour and reverence your parents; not only obey their commands—but submit to their rebukes. You cannot honour your Father in heaven—unless you honour your earthly parents. To deny obedience to parents, entails God's judgments upon children. "The eye that mocks at his father, and despises to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagle shall eat it." Prov 30:17. Eli's two disobedient sons were slain. 1 Sam 4:2: God made a law that the "rebellious son should be stoned;" the same death the blasphemer had. Lev 24:14. "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, who will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother; then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die." Deut 21:18, 19, 21.

A father having once complained, "Never had a father a worse son than I have!" "Yes," said the son, "my grandfather had." This was a prodigy of impudence hardly to be paralleled. Manlius, when grown old and poor, had a very rich son, of whom he asked some food—but the son denied him relief, yes, disowned him from being his father, and sent him away with reproachful language. The poor old father let fall tears in grief. But God, to revenge the disobedience, struck the unnatural son with madness, of which he could never be cured. Disobedient children stand in a place where all God's arrows fly!

Use three. Let parents so act, that they may gain honour from their children.

How should parents so act towards their children as to be honoured and reverenced by them?

(1) Be careful to bring them up in the fear and nurture of the Lord. "Bring them up in the admonition of the Lord." Eph 6:4. You conveyed the plague of sin to them, therefore endeavour to get them healed and sanctified. Augustine says that his mother, Monica, travailed more for his spiritual birth, than his natural birth. Timothy's mother instructed him from a child. 2 Tim 3:15. She not only gave him her breast-milk—but "the sincere milk of the Word." Season your children with good principles early, that they may, with Obadiah, fear the Lord from their youth. 1 Kings 18:12. When parents do not instruct their children, they seldom prove blessings. God often punishes the carelessness of parents, with undutiful fullness in their children. It is not enough that in baptism your child is dedicated to God—but it must be educated for him. Children are young plants which you must be continually watering with good instruction. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Prov 22:6. The more your children fear God, the more they will honour you.

(2) If you would have your children honour you, keep up parental authority. Be kind—but do not spoil them. If you do not discipline them, they will despise you, instead of honouring you. The rod of discipline must not be withheld. "You shall beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." Prov 23:14. A child indulged and humoured in wickedness, will be a thorn in the parent's eye. David spoiled Adonijah. "His father had not displeased him at any time, in saying, Why have you done so?" 1 Kings 1:6, 7, 9. Afterwards he became a grief of heart to his father, and was false to the crown. Keep up your authority, and you keep up your honour.

(3) Provide for your children what is fitting, both in their minority and when they come to maturity. "The children ought not to lay up for the parents—but the parents for the children." 2 Cor 12:14. They are your own flesh and, as the apostle says, "No man ever yet hated his own flesh." Eph 5:29. The parents' bountifulness will cause dutifulness in the child. If you pour water into a pump, the pump will send water again out freely; so, if parents pour in something of their estate to their children, children worthy of the name will pour out obedience again to their parents.

(4) When your children are grown up, put them to some lawful vocation, wherein they may serve their generation. It is good to consult the natural genius and inclination of a child, for forced vocations do as ill, sometimes, as forced matches. To let a child be out of a vocation, is to expose him to temptation. Melanchthon says, "Idleness is the devil's pleasure resort." A child out of a vocation is like fallow ground; and what can you expect should grow up but weeds of disobedience.

(5) Act lovingly to your children. In all your counsels and commands, let them read love. Love will command honour; and how can a parent but love the child who is his living picture, nay, part of himself. The child is the father, in the second edition.

(6) Act prudently towards your children. It is a great point of prudence in a parent not to provoke his children to wrath. "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." Col 3:21.

How may a parent provoke his children to wrath?

(1) By giving them opprobrious terms. "You son of the perverse rebellious woman," said Saul to his son Jonathan. 1 Sam 20:30. Some parents use imprecations and curses to their children, which provoke them to wrath. Would you have God bless your children, and do you curse them?

(2) Parents provoke children to wrath when they strike them without a cause, or when the correction exceeds the fault. This is to be a tyrant, rather than a father! Saul cast a javelin at his son to smite him, and his son was provoked to anger. "So Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger." 1 Sam 20:33, 34. "A father exercises a kingly power over his son, not that of a tyrant." Davenant.

(3) When parents deny their children what is absolutely needful. Some have thus provoked their children: they have stinted them, and kept them so short, that they have forced them upon indirect courses, and made them put forth their hands to iniquity.

(4) When parents act partially towards their children, showing more kindness to one than to another. Though a parent may have a greater love to one child—yet discretion should lead him not to show more love to one than to another. Jacob showed more love to Joseph than to all his other children, which provoked the envy of his brethren. "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, and when his brethren saw that, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably to him." Gen 37:3, 4.

(5) When a parent does anything which is sordid and unworthy, which casts disgrace upon himself and his family, as to defraud or take a false oath—it provokes the child to wrath. As the child should honour his father, so the father should not dishonour the child.

(6) When parents lay commands upon their children which they cannot perform without wronging their consciences. Saul commanded his son Jonathan to bring David to him. "Fetch him to me, for he shall surely die." 1 Sam 20:31. Jonathan could not do this with a good conscience; but was provoked to anger. "Jonathan arose from the table in fierce anger." 1 Sam 20:34.

The reason why parents should show their prudence in not provoking their children to wrath, is this: "Lest they be discouraged." Col 3:21. This word "discouraged" implies three things.

Grief. The parent's provoking the child, the child so takes it to heart, that it causes premature death.

Despondency. The parents' austerity dispirits the child, and makes it unfit for service; like members of the body stupefied, which are unfit for work.

Rebelliousness. The child being provoked by the cruel and unnatural behaviour of the parent, grows desperate, and often studies to irritate and vex his parents; which, though it is evil in the child—yet the parent is accessory to it, as being the occasion of it.

(7) If you would have honour from your children, pray much for them. Not only lay up a portion for them—but lay up a stock of prayer for them. Monica prayed much for her son Augustine; and it was said, "it was impossible that a son of so many prayers and tears should perish." Pray that your children may be preserved from the contagion of the times; pray that as your children bear your images in their faces, they may bear God's image in their hearts; pray that they may be instruments and vessels of glory. One fruit of prayer may be, that the child will honour a praying parent.

(8) Encourage that which you see good and commendable in your children. "Goodness increases when praised." Commending that which is good in your children makes them more in love with virtuous actions; and is like the watering of plants, which makes them grow more. Some parents discourage the good they see in their children, and so nip virtue in the bud, and help to damn their children's souls. They have their children's curses.

(9) If you would have honour from your children, set them a good example. It makes children despise parents, when the parents live in contradiction to their own precepts; when they bid their children be sober, and yet they themselves get drunk; or bid their children fear God, and are themselves loose in their lives. Oh if you would have your children honour you, teach them by a holy example! A father is a looking-glass, which the child often dresses himself by; let the glass be clear and not spotted. Parents should observe great decorum in their whole conduct, lest they give occasion to their children to say to them, as Plato's servant, "My master has made a book against rash anger—but he himself is an angry man!" Or, as a son once said to his father, "If I have done evil—I have learned it from you!"


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