Natural Wet Dreams
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Some people will find this section helpful. In contrast, people not plagued with this problem have the luxury of thinking the subject distasteful and unnecessary. Such readers are invited to skip to the next section. Nevertheless, I willingly embarrass myself to support those who need it.
As an unmarried man, I have found wet dreams unpleasant. I draw comfort, however, from medical studies showing that both men and women cycle through times of sexual arousal when asleep and this is usually associated with Rapid Eye Moment (R.E.M.) i.e. dreaming. Why I find this comforting is that, for good reason, computerized equipment is often programmed to automatically do diagnostic checks. I add to this the fact our bodies need regular exercise to function best. So I see cycling through times of sexual arousal when asleep as God’s way of caring for my sexuality. It is him lovingly ensuring that I am not physiologically disadvantaged by my decision not to consciously arouse myself.
Some people suppose that waking up aroused means that they have no option but to give themselves relief. This is not so. If ignored, the tension will slowly recede. Moreover, training oneself to have that degree of control will prove a valuable asset in marriage, allowing the prolonging of pleasure and greater fulfilment for both partners. In contrast to mere physical arousal, however, sexual dreams can be a very serious source of temptation that can hound a person for many hours after waking.
As a young man I completely broke my addiction to daily masturbation. For a long while afterwards I had a nocturnal emission about every six days. Not only was this so inconvenient that I was tempted to masturbate simply to control the timing of emissions, but instead of nocturnal emissions providing relief, I was consistently more sexually aroused than usual the next day. Eventually my body settled down. I presume this whole process was my body adjusting to not needing to produce as much fluids as before.
Natural Dreams Used by the Tempter
It was perfectly natural for Jesus to be hungry after fasting in the wilderness, but it triggered a supernatural encounter with the Evil One, who used it as a powerful temptation to turn stones into bread. Likewise, a wet dream might be perfectly natural but that does not stop evil spiritual powers from doing all they can to exploit it and turn it into an opportunity for temptation.
Most of us would be deeply upset by a dream in which we actually enjoyed sexual perversion or murdering someone. What would be even more disturbing, however, would be if we presumed this revealed our subconscious and that deep down the “real” us is perverted or murderous.
We should be very wary about jumping to such unfounded presumptions. Our spiritual enemies have a vested interest in trying to con us into falling for a false self-image. There is a strong likelihood that we will end up acting in line with whatever self-image we accept.
How we see ourselves is of extreme importance to God. He told childless Abram to call himself the Father of Many Nations. He called Gideon, hiding from his enemies, “Mighty Man of Valour.” We need to get our identity exclusively from Christ. He declares each of us a new creation for whom the old has passed away. Through him, we are the righteousness of God, more than conquerors, and so on (2 Corinthians 5:21; Romans 8:37). To be born of God means that spiritually we have God’s genes.
If our self-image is so important, we can be sure that the enemy of our souls will focus on it. Furthermore, we must realize that even the holy Son of God was tempted in every way, and unless something seems highly desirable, it is not temptation. Holiness has nothing to do with finding evil undesirable. True Christ likeness is about dying to self and if you never did certain things because you had no desire, avoiding them proves nothing about your holiness or devotion to Christ. You might still be utterly self-cantered, self-serving and unregenerate.
We must fully grasp the fact that temptation is not sin, that temptation comes to everyone, and that it would not be temptation unless we found something highly alluring. For further help with this, see Temptation is Spiritual Rape. http://www.net-burst.net/dreams/temptation.htm
But you might worry that not only did you find sin highly enticing, you actually yielded to temptation in your dream. Can any of us be held accountable for what we do in a dream, or are we absolved from all responsibility for what happens when we are asleep? My common sense (are the alarms screaming in your ear?) tells me that we cannot be held responsible for what we do when not awake. I have found that so often our spiritual enemies love doing evil and then trying to fool us into accusing either God or ourselves for their own despicable deeds.
It is certainly true that Satan loves trying to condemn us for things we are innocent of, and surely it is at least sometimes true that we are not accountable for what we do in our dreams. Nevertheless, to my disappointment – and to Solomon’s great advantage – Solomon’s dream prevents me from giving an ironclad guarantee that we are never responsible. God appeared to Solomon in a dream and while still dreaming Solomon made the most momentous decision of his life. Told in his dream that he could have anything he asked for, Solomon made his choice while still asleep and God honoured it (1 Kings 3:5-15).
However, there are obvious dangers in using a divinely inspired dream as the basis for making presumptions about natural dreams, let alone satanically inspired dreams. Since he wanted to know Solomon’s answer, the Lord of all would obviously have ensured Solomon could think clearly while having that significant dream. Moreover, we can be sure that when Solomon awoke from this dream, he affirmed his decision, unlike someone who dreams of sinning and recoils from it upon awakening.
In contrast to a dream from God, in a satanically inspired dream, evil forces would do all they could to confuse and fog the dreamer’s thinking. We know that temptation is not sin and it seems to me that in most, if not all, instances in which Christians dream that they are sinning, it is sheer temptation and that it is only what they do when awake that counts.
Even if we were responsible for yielding to evil in our sleep, however, the devil would love to blow this out of all proportion. As I so often find myself having to tell people, one of the most important things in the Christian life is to focus on God’s great love for us and not let Satan trick us into thinking that God frowns on us when we fall into sin. Yes, God is disappointed, but when a little child falls, what’s the first thing he does? He runs to mommy or daddy for comfort. You, too, can run to Daddy, the instant you fall. The tender, forgiving Lord is devoted to you.
Satan, however, wants to you to fear, and feel bad about running to God. He knows we instinctively recoil from anyone we fear might be angry or displeased with us and keep that person at arm’s length. He wants us to be standoffish from the only One who can truly deliver us and defeat Satan in our lives. He doesn’t want us to rejoice in God’s forgiveness but to feel miserable.
A woman kindly shares with us her fascinating experience:
I began having disturbing dreams in which I found myself in all kinds of severe temptation. Most of the time I did not yield, but sometimes I did and I would awake troubled and disappointed in myself. I brought this to the Lord, and he reminded me that I had been praying that he make me a pure vessel. I had been asking him to search me in the night watches as David prayed in Psalm 139:23-24 and that was exactly what he was doing. He was honouring my request and showing me that my heart is not yet perfect.
He showed me that if I would hate evil and love righteousness, I would not succumb, even under the great temptations the dream presented, for my hatred of evil would rise and I would see it for what it is. Mind you, I would have said I already hated evil and loved righteousness, but he showed me that I still have further to go.
The dreams resulted not in condemnation but in a desire to be pure and to know God in a deeper way so that I may please him even when he searches my heart in the night. I was glad that by using a dream to show me my heart and me learning from it, I was spared from being tested in real life.
In Psalm 51, David prayed after repenting of his sexual sin. He asked to be cleansed and said in verse 6 that God desires truth in our hidden and inward parts. I had been praying along those very lines. That is my desire. He granted that with those dreams.
Of course, temptation in our dreams is no more of God than temptation when we are awake, but God carefully controls how much he allows the tempter to do so that if we respond correctly it furthers our spiritual advance.
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