Foe a Mother Anxious about a Son
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Dear friend,
It is natural for a mother to be anxious about her son in such a case as you describe. But there are many things that should be carefully considered. College life is different altogether from the quiet sheltered home in which most of our boys are reared. Indeed, very few boys begin to think on religious matters for themselves while they stay in their own homes. They have been brought up from infancy and through childhood and youth — to believe certain things, to accept certain doctrines — not because they have reasoned these questions out for themselves — but because they have been taught them by their parents and in the church which they have attended.
Almost always, however, when boys go away from home and are placed in new conditions, amid new circumstances and influences — the first effect is apt to be a sort of breaking up of the old beliefs. They begin to think for themselves. They hear all kinds of expressions and opinions upon religious subjects. They meet those who profess to be skeptical concerning the great teachings of Christianity. They find others who intellectually hold to the old teachings — but whose lives are not in accordance with their beliefs. The whole atmosphere is changed. A new set of influences begins at once to work upon them. It is not surprising, therefore, that a great many college students have a time, at least, of doubt and uncertainty, passing through various phases of intellectual uncertainty.
But this breaking up of the old conditions, this apparent drifting away from the old moorings, does not at all prove that the young men have gone away in any real sense, morally or spiritually. I have been a great deal among students. I have had two sons to leave home and attend college. I have conversed with hundreds and hundreds of young men and have been in correspondence with many more in this period of life. I never have a great deal of anxiety, therefore, concerning the changes that take place. Indeed, it is better there should be a change — that is, it is better that a young man should not take his religion merely from his mother or his father or sister — but should examine and find the foundations for himself. No man is ever a strong, earnest or very useful Christian — who has not fought over the ground for himself. He may believe fewer things at the end of a period of questioning — but those he does believe, he will believe with a great deal more heartiness and reality.
I do not know what the particular experience of Mrs. Grant's son in this respect was — but I suspect that it was that of nearly all students who attend Princeton or Yale, or any other good college. I would not have one moment's anxiety, therefore, concerning his spiritual state, especially, as you say, he did not drift away into immorality. He was thinking for himself, and I believe almost certainly that he stayed close to Christ. After all, this is the vital thing.
If you will read the New Testament very carefully, you will find that our Master called all his disciples to become personally attached to him, to believe on him, to obey him, to follow him, to cling to him. This was the one essential qualification for a disciple. It was not doctrines, not the observance of ceremonies, not the identification with certain creeds — hispersonal attachment to the Master was all that was required.
You say that young Grant seemed to lose interest in the activities of religious life. Remember that a college church is different altogether from a home church. There is not the same opportunity for active participation in religious affairs. The men are very busy, if they are diligent and faithful, and have little time for meetings and special religious work. Besides, there is but small opportunity for such activity. I am not surprised, therefore, that this young man seemed not to have had the same earnestness that he had when at home. Everything was different. All the influences were against it. Now and then a student does manifest a special religious zeal through all his college course — but there are very few of these indeed in any institution, especially in such universities as Princeton.
I have gone over this ground from the college student's standpoint, to help you to understand that the course of young Grant was not by any means an exceptional one, and did not by any means indicate that he had drifted away from Christ. If he had gone into an evil life, neglecting his duties and wasting his substance and his time in evil — then there would have been a serious reason for anxiety. But if his life were true and pure and faithful, even if he did not maintain the activities of his home life in his college days, I think there is no reason to fear.
Besides, the mother must not lose her confidence in her God. She gave her boy to him in infancy and brought him up for God. Every day, I am sure, she held him up in her hands before God in prayer. God is a covenant-keeping God, and does not forget his promises. While her boy was away from the mother's influence, God was taking care of him, keeping him daily in the secret place of the Most High, under the shadow of the wings of Jehovah. Let her not doubt God's faithfulness in the matter.
Then let her remember also that the mercy of God is infinite. He is very patient with our weaknesses, our infirmities, our faults and failures.
Let her remember also that many a boy at home, who is kept under the influence of the home life and the church life, and seems to be everything that is good — is not so good in hissecret life as people imagine him to be. College is not the only place where men drift away from Christ. Many drift away in heart and in secret life — even when they seem to be keeping in association with sacred things.
Let the mother put her trust in God, therefore, and not be afraid. Christ loved her son far more than she loved him. He will not let him drift away. Remember the parable of the Good Shepherd who goes after the one wandering sheep until he finds it. Remember the assurance that Christ loves unto the uttermost.
I believe that this precious boy who is so dear to his mother 's heart and about whom she is now anxious is with Christ today, living and serving nearer the throne, called home early that he might begin a new and a better service in Christ's own very presence. Possibly the reason he was called home, may have been because Heaven is a safer place for him than this earth could have been amid the temptations and the trials which he was called to meet.
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