Every fresh discovery of our vile nature
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We usually know but little of our dreadful depravity, when the Lord first takes us in hand. The fountains of the great deep are not then broken up.
The desperate unbelief, enmity, rebellion, perverseness, pride, hypocrisy, uncleanness—and all the other vile corruptions of our heart—are not at first opened up and brought to light. But as the Lord leads the soul on, He opens up by degrees the desperate corruption and depravity of our nature—and unfolds the hidden evils of our heart, which before were covered from our view.
It is with us as it was with the prophet Ezekiel. The Lord led him into one chamber after another; and when his astonishment increased at what he saw there, He said unto him—"Turn yet again, and you shall see greater abominations than these!"
But as the Lord leads us into a knowledge of our depravity, He makes us to feel sick at heart, and thus we come into the state of feeling described by the prophet Isaiah—"The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint. From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds, and bruises, and putrefying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment."
And as we are led into a knowledge of our sinfulness—and groan under it—we feel more and more a burden of shame and sorrow on account of it. And the more deeply and daily that this is felt—the more deeply and daily do we find our need of the great Physician.
All the Lord's dealings with our souls are that He may exalt His dear Son in our hearts—that we may have all the shame—and Jesus all the glory! And therefore, all this deep and daily discovery of our depravity, is eventually to bring greater glory to the Son of God. The deeper we sink into shame and guilt, under the knowledge of the depravity of our nature—the more do we seek unto, feel the power, and prize the love, blood, grace, and preciousness of the Lord Jesus.
Every fresh discovery of our vile nature—when the Lord is pleased to bring the savour of Jesus' name, like the ointment poured forth, into the conscience—serves only instrumentally to increase our faith and affection towards Him. And thus the deeper we sink in self—the higher the Lord Jesus rises in our soul's admiration and adoration!
And to make us more and more dependent upon Jesus, the Lord, by His teachings, usually leads us into a knowledge of our backsliding and idolatrous nature. And O, what a backsliding and idolatrous heart do we carry in our bosom—and how perpetually does it make us sigh and groan! Is there anything too vile for our depraved nature not to lust after? Is there anything too base which our hearts will not imagine? Are there any puddles, which, if God left us to ourselves, we would not grovel in? As we are brought more to feel the workings of this base backsliding heart, and have the burden of it more laid upon our conscience—the more sick are we at heart—and the more is the disease felt to be in the very vitals!
We sigh and groan because we are so vile—for we desire to be far otherwise. In our right mind, we would live in the fear of the Lord all the day long, and would never do a single thing inconsistent with the precepts of the gospel. We would never say a word that the Lord would disapprove of. We would always walk in faith, hope, and love. We would continually be spiritual and heavenly-minded.
But alas, this is what we cannot attain unto. Our eye is caught by every passing vanity! Our carnal minds rove after forbidden things. And our vile heart will still commit villainy. And as the conscience is made tender—and as the soul is led into a deeper acquaintance with the spirituality of God's character and the purity of His nature—and as a deeper and clearer knowledge of Jesus in all His covenant relationship is gained—the more it is felt to be an evil and bitter thing to depart from the Fountain of living waters!
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