Ephesians 6:4
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“And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
How does a parent apply this instruction? How are the terms “provoke,” “nurture,” and “admonition” to be applied?
Colossians 3:21 teaches that provoking a child can also discourage the child as well as cause different reactions, depending on the particular child. This nearly worst of all parental mistakes can be done by teasing, belittling, criticizing, or any kind of wrong correction, such as consistently being too strict. This explanation best fits in Ephesians, because it goes on to say, “but bring them up in the nurture (gentle, patient instruction) and admonition (correction, punishment) of the Lord.”
Many modern parents either do not punish at all or do it as a last resort—out of frustration or anger. If not done in measure—with wisdom and obvious love involved—punishment can cause hatred to well up in the child. Such children will often await the day that they can retaliate against parents, or simply leave the home forever.
Of course, provoking anyone is un-Christian, foolish and wrong. Just as never correcting children will lead to disaster, over-correcting, to the point of provoking them, can be especially disastrous because they could wind up in jail or with other terrible social difficulties. These children will often become very permissive parents or, ironically, could themselves go on to become abusive parents. Suggested reading:
• Train Your Children God’s Way