Deepening our Understanding of Alters
Next Part My Blunders With Alters
Suppose a man suffered trauma at age two, then had a separate trauma at age five, another at six and another at age twenty. The person could have an alter formed at age two, with acute memories of traumas suffered at that age, and an additional alter at age five, another at six and another at age twenty, while yet another part of the person (usually referred to as the host) is at the man’s real age.
Although an alter forms at a specific age, the alter usually has a range of memories from that time until a different trauma occurs, in which case, an additional alter could be formed and the other alter might go into hiding for decades. Alternatively, the alter could continue to come out to perform certain tasks but in go into hiding at other times.
Consider a middle aged man with an alter whose memory is limited to when he was five years old. When this alter speaks out loud, he would have to use the man’s vocal cords. Except for the sound of his voice, however, (and even that might betray subtle differences within the limitations of man’s vocal range) you would swear you were communicating with a five year old (until the alter begins to mature).
It has been said that child alters have the short attention span of a child, but there is more to it than that. Regardless of how old they were when they formed, alters may on occasion be able to tolerate only a few second’s conversation due to overwhelming feelings of confusion, anxiety or emotional (either positive or negative) overload.
Alters formed at certain times are likely to develop specific skills. So some people, though not all, have alters assigned to specific tasks. For example, one alter might almost always take over when public speaking is required, another might predominate when parenting skills are needed, and so on. Some alters might also take on specific roles in supporting fellow alters. For example, one might act as a protector, and another might bear the overflow of pain whenever other alters can tolerate no more.
Alters that have kept themselves in deep isolation usually have Rip-Van-Winkle-like memory gaps. Once they surface, however, they are capable of picking up new information and skills. Ceasing to be deeply buried is usually dependent upon them feeling safe. Once this happens it is as though they are activated. They can then be specifically addressed and taught new things. They might also happen to overhear relevant conversations that help them learn, but unless they are conversed with directly, there is no guarantee that they are listening.
As an openness to the host and other alters develops, an alter broadens his or her skills and knowledge (often quite rapidly) and becomes increasingly like the full person. For example, a child alter that is accepted and understood by the host will usually mature at a much faster rate than a child would. The remarkable speed is not merely because the alter is growing up or learning new things; the alter is learning how to access the host’s mental abilities. The rigid wall between the alter and the rest of the person is coming down.
A host can switch from one alter to another, but the degree of control over switching has limits. For example, an alter might at any specific time be asleep (even though the host is awake), or might be away with God, or temporarily too traumatized to speak, or simply feel a need for time-out. Or an alter might choose to remain silent because he/she considers there is insufficient privacy or does not trust someone who might overhear him/her.
On the other hand, alters sometimes manifest themselves without their host’s permission and sometimes without even the host’s knowledge. For example, to conceal their actions from their host or avoid being restrained by the host, alters sometimes deliberately put their hosts to sleep before manifesting themselves. One alter said she would achieve this by whispering repeatedly to her host, “You’re getting s-l-e-e-p-y.” Another seemed able to achieve this more rapidly and called it “pulling the plug” on the host’s consciousness.
Besides differing in apparent age, alters within the same person can differ in personal tastes, abilities, character strengths, weaknesses, fears and so on. Some alters are likely to intensely dislike other alters and/or the host. That’s not surprising when we consider how many of us seem to hate ourselves, at least sometimes during our lives. Nevertheless, perceived rejection or ill-feeling between a person’s alters can be very damaging and significantly delay healing.
If an alter is angry at other alters and upsetting them, it would probably be worthwhile giving that alter much attention, listening to him/her, comforting him/her, and so on. Seek to calm the alter and gradually coax the alter to be more positively disposed towards the others. Alters formed by the trauma of sexual abuse might be sexually disturbed and it is not impossible for one alter to “sexually molest” another. Alters are also able to “hit” each other and inflict what feels like physical pain. The assaults might not actually be physical but they can seem as real as nightmares seem while you are still sleeping.
Next Part My Blunders With Alters