Chapter Seven – The Fifth Commandment — “Honor Your Father and Mother…”

The FIFTH COMMANDMENT is the first that deals with man’s relation with his fellow man—love toward neighbour, in this case, parents. Exodus 20:12 reads, “HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER: that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God gives you.”

This commandment connects the first four commandments, “love toward God” with the last five, “love toward neighbour.” This is because honouring God bears a strong relationship to honouring parents. The implications of this commandment are serious.

Since a child learns to honour his parents before learning to honour God, this is the natural transition from love toward neighbour to love toward God and vice versa.

This commandment is directed to children, regardless of age. Notice that God promises long life to all those who obey this pivotal commandment.

The concept of honour begins with the concept of obedience. In life, there are many things that a child must learn to respect. There are boundaries of acceptable conduct that have to be ingrained. Once the value and benefits of obedience are ingrained, children have a jumpstart in the right direction.

It is important to always remember that discipline, tempered with love, not only defines the boundaries, but also instils confidence and security within a child. He knows that his parents always have his best interests in mind. Although most children will not admit it, they prefer rules and standards that define the set limits of what is permissible and what is not.

The Fifth Commandment Ignored

Everything that leads to fulfilment in life is summed up in the Ten Commandments. The value of teaching a young child these laws is absolutely priceless. In these perilous times, immediate and extended families are not as tightly knit as they once were. The influence of diligent parents overseeing their children’s daily needs, both physical and spiritual, has largely become a thing of the past.

By the 1960s in much of the Western world, the daily pressures of life boiled over in various college campuses. These revolts were compounded by new influences that dropped morals to lower depths, such as illegal drug use (marijuana, LSD, heroin, etc.). Others included the hippie movement, unprecedented promiscuity, chaotic hard rock music, and the “counterculture” that opposed the values of “the establishment” and promoted anarchy. In effect, this counterculture mentality pressured youth to essentially disown the principles of the Fifth Commandment, or face rejection by their peers. To be part of the “in” crowd, youth were expected to sever close parental ties, and embrace their peers’ values. Most adults then were shocked at the open rebellion of youth. Nothing of this kind had ever happened before and they were convinced that things could not grow any worse. But they have grown worse—much worse!

Today, some even call their parents or their mates’ parents by first name, dishonouring the high office of a parent.

These influences have not dissipated. They became ingrained in the minds of the children and grandchildren of the counterculture movement.

Many people of this third generation suffer from deep-seated problems resulting from long-term effects of their parents’ and grandparents’ mistakes. Many were born illegitimate, as were their parents.

Earlier generations could at least look back to their grandparents and see examples of moral, and even a certain “religious,” discipline, hard work, and endurance in adversity. Recent generations have been denied such anchors of stability. Materialism and the downward spiral of morality have warped vast numbers of youth—sometimes beyond redemption. It is common to find children repeatedly sent to detention programs due to deeply imbedded criminal behaviour. In recent years, school shooting massacres have become almost commonplace. Public counsellors are swamped with youth behavioural cases, accompanied by new upsurges in drug and alcohol abuse. Law enforcement has uncovered numerous bombing plots engineered by students.

Many ask, “Where did we go wrong?” The next step is usually to blame television, music, movies and the other usual “suspects”—schools, bad neighbours, poverty, environment, etc. While these issues are definitely part of the problem, the bigger picture must be considered. When a civilization cut off from God becomes more and more materialistic, moral collapse is predictable and unstoppable.

The Vital Role of Parenthood

God intended that families consist of a father and mother who diligently apply His ways in childrearing. The family is the basic unit—not a “village,” as advocated by today’s liberals. The presence of both parents is vital to doing the job correctly. The absence of either parent results in a crippled family structure. In the eyes of a child, both parents represent God, in that they provide for the child’s needs similar to the way that God provides for the needs of adults. A child’s relationship with his parents during his formative years determines how his relationship will be with God.

The New Testament admonishes parents to avoid either extreme of being too lenient or too harsh. Notice: “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Col. 3:20-21). A parent who establishes firm guidelines and administers prompt discipline gets better results than one who withholds discipline, resorting to constant fussing and nagging. This type of “correction” only results in loss of respect from the child. Since God expects parents to represent Him, they are obligated to follow His rules and examples in disciplining and training.

Notice Ephesians 6:1-4: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor your father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise) that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

This key scripture stresses and builds directly upon the Fifth Commandment. Paul stresses its importance, noting that it is the first commandment with promise—long life. If children are taught to properly fear and honor their parents, they will fear and honor God as they reach adulthood. God’s principles are guaranteed to work. As our Creator, He understands the human mind. Long life is virtually assured for anyone who obeys this commandment.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 is a vital scripture that is often forgotten in child rearing: “And these words [the Ten Commandments, along with the statutes and precepts], which I command you this day, shall be in your heart: and you shall teach them diligently unto your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. And you shall bind them for a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the posts of your house, and on your gates.”

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