Building Love Relationships

"And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to (God for a sweet-smelling aroma. Ephesians 5:2)

"And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. "

Ephesians 4:31)

Christianity is not a religion. Satan is the author of religion. Satan uses religion to steal, kill and destroy. Religion is used to keep people from the truth, to keep them in darkness. Now the world calls Christianity one of the "Great Religions" because it does not understand spiritual things. The Bible clearly reveals that Christianity is a family affair. Christianity is having a personal relationship with God and with one another as brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ.

Agape Revival

There is a mighty move of God underway today, emphasising walking in love towards people and at the same time engaging in spiritual warfare towards the devil, our enemy, like never before. The Holy Spirit is saying that this present revival will bring more souls into the Body of Christ than all other revivals put together. That there will be a restoration of the gifts of the Spirit and an outpouring of God's power like this earth has never seen before. Glory to God! What an exciting hour to be alive witnessing the close of this age.

However, in order for the Spirit of God to move freely through the Body of Christ, we as Christians must become "Love Vessels". We must fulfil the only commandment given to the church, that of walking in love!

Much revelation is flowing today regarding godly relationships in the Body of Christ. So, let's examine some of these scriptural principles that will help all of us to become more like Jesus. As we endeavour to walk in love towards one another, working through all of the conflicts and problems, that constantly threatens our relationships with one another.

Man's Way

There are many ways that men have attempted to resolve conflicts and problems.

I. Some people yield. The person who always yields may think he is right, but it's not worth the hassle to prove it, so he just gives in and tries to forget the whole thing. But that builds resentment which is sure to come out in one way or another.

2. Some fight to win. They will not quit until they've proven that they're right and their opponent is wrong. But that just drives people further apart from each other.

3. Some compromise. Here each person gives a little and they try to meet in the middle. Sometimes it may be the only way, but it does carry with it the danger that neither person will feel they have been completely understood or that there needs have been met.

4. Some withdraw. They think the best way to solve a problem is to run from it. But that doesn't solve anything. It just builds walls between people.

God's Way

It is a fact that no two normal people will always agree on everything. But they can work through the disagreements, resolve their conflicts and live together in peace. And God's way to resolve conflict is to seek a solution that will satisfy the needs of both and increase our love for one another. The following principles will help us to build the love relationships that God desires the Body of Christ to walk in.

1. Be Teachable

"Show me your ways, 0 Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation: on you, I wait all the day. "(Psalms 25:4-5)

As we get involved in conflicts with each other, we should determine right from the beginning that we will learn from each experience and become the person that God wants us to become.

To be teachable means that we are willing to change our ways. It means that we are willing to do it God's way and we don't always insist on having our own way.

2. Listen to the Heart

1 Samuel 16:7 says, "... for the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. And 1 Peter 3:7 says "Likewise you husbands, dwell with them with understanding... Too often in our relationships with one another judge, criticise without taking time to listen to the heart of the other person. Clod looks at the heart of people. Now much more you and I should take time to look at the hearts of people instead of looking at what we see and hear on the "surface" All of us want people to see our hearts. For this to happen we must make ourselves understandable by being willing to answer questions, to share from our hearts honestly, to avoid becoming defensive, to make ourselves vulnerable, and to listen and think before we speak. We must also be willing to look at things from the other person's viewpoint as they share from their heart we' re quick to and correct

3. Control Your Emotions

James 1:20 says, "for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God". And Ephesians 4:31 commands us to "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice". When we are falsely accused or misjudged, most of us get angry on the inside and reflect that anger in some way which does not help to resolve conflict but only makes matters worse. How do we overcome anger? Not by bottling it up inside of us. If we do that, it inevitably surfaces in one form or another.

And neither should we direct the anger toward ourselves -- that usually ends up with one becoming depressed by the devil.

The best way to get rid of the anger is to audibly admit the anger, identify the reason for the anger, confess the sin of becoming angry, receive your forgiveness from the Lord (1 John 1:9) and forgive the other person for failing to meet your expectations. If you can do this, victory is just around the corner. According to Galatians 5:16 we're commanded to walk in the spirit. And the only way that we can walk in the spirit is to have control of our mind, will, emotions, and body.

4. Think before you speak.

According to James 1:19 we are to be slow to speak and swift to hear. Some of us have our mouth in motion before our minds are in gear. And if we are trying to resolve a difference, that is like pouring gasoline on a brush fire. Thinking before we speak will help us to share with the other person what we are feeling without hurting them and causing the conflict to become greater. However, remember that when you do speak, speak the truth in love! (Ephesians 4:15) Just remember that all sins start with a lie and Satan is the father of lies. It does not make any difference what the sin is, from adultery to murder, from alcoholism to divorce, from gossip to church splits, it all starts with a lie. And according to the New Testament, God's people are noted for their lying! This must stop if we're going to have godly relationships. For it's only the honest and good heart that will bring fruit to maturity (Luke 8:15).

5. Don't Project the Blame.

Blaming others usually stems from a low self-image; we feel that we must win in order to establish our worth. Sometimes we blame others simply to avoid admitting that we have contributed to the problem.

If we are serious about building godly relationships with one another, we must ask ourselves what we have done to agitate the conflict. If the other person we have the conflict with feels hurt, unappreciated, criticised or rejected, then we must examine our own attitudes, words, and actions. What have we done to contribute to those feelings? Even if our actions were unintentional, the tone of our voice or the expression on our face may have fuelled the feelings, and we must be willing to acknowledge that.

Projecting the blame on others is nothing new. It goes all the way back to Genesis 3:12 when Adam allowed sin to come into the Garden of Eden. When confronted by God, Adam immediately said, "the woman whom You gave to me". Adam blamed Eve and God for his failure. And people have been doing the same thing ever since.

6. Keep Short Accounts

"Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil" (Ephesians 4:26-27). In these days, we must be more ready than ever to acknowledge our wrongs, seek the other's forgiveness and move on joyfully. Resolving our conflicts quickly and completely will help our love for one another to grow stronger and give the devil absolutely no opportunity to come between us.

7. Communication

If we were to choose the one area that has caused the Body of Christ more problems than any other -- and continues to be our weakest link --it would be the area of communication. God has communicated with mankind by sending us His Word (John 3:16, John 1:1, John1:14).

In order to have a close walk with Clod we must be in fellowship and communion with God. Communion means sharing one's innermost thoughts and emotions.

Likewise, if we are going to walk together as members of the Body of Christ we need to develop godly relations with one another through fellowship and communion with one another. That is what Christianity is! Personal relationships -- people and God all in communion with one another. The glorious church that Jesus is coming back for soon is that of people walking in love and communion with one another in Christ Jesus.

Let each one of us begin today, to do our part in helping to develop godly relationships so that the church may indeed become that glorious church!

By Jim Kaseman