Book 1 of Musings A Funny Story

It is obvious worldly, lustful, self-serving believers are not fit to ride behind Christ in the Battle of Armageddon and then govern the nations of saved people with the rod of iron.

I will tell you a funny story.

Once upon a time the church members were caught up to Heaven in a "rapture." Most of them had undergone no moral transformation. They had never denied themselves anything they really wanted. They had never taken up their personal cross of pain and imprisonment. They did not follow Christ each day, but they had practiced for the rapture by jumping and down next to their pews.

They had trusted in the "grace" of God to save them, meaning they had made a profession of belief in Christ and then had continued with their usual way of living.

Then the trumpet blew. On the way up, in the rapture, they had elbowed each other out of the way so they could be first in line. Once in Heaven they had been assigned to their mansions. Some had asked that they might be given a mansion in a different location because they were too near someone they despised. Others had wanted a bigger mansion. They said, "I always have been rich and accustomed to better things than other people, so I deserve a larger mansion than the others."

For the next seven years they spent their time wandering about Heaven, looking at the scenes, gossiping about one another, stuffing themselves with food without getting heartburn.

By the end of the seven years they were bored and began to complain that there "isn't anything to do."

Suddenly there was a terrible blast of a trumpet. They were drawn irresistibly to a war camp filled with great white stallions. Jesus Christ Himself was there with His warlords.

A loud voice ordered: "Pick up your sword, shield, and spear. Mount up. It is time to invade the earth. We must fight against Satan and drive him out of the earth. Then the earth will belong to us."

The dear saints began to clamor: "I don't want to go. I am afraid of horses. I am afraid of heights. Let someone else go. I am saved by grace. Maybe God will save Satan because of His unconditional love."

"That is alright, little darlings," the Lord said. "You go back to your nice mansion where it is comfy and warm. I love you too much to want you to do something you really don't want to."

At this point about eighty percent of the saints returned to their mansions. They could be heard to say: "Those people who stayed are just showing off. They want us to think they are brave or something. It would serve them right if they were all killed."

Then they began to play musical chairs and gave gifts to one another.

They lived happily ever after - well, almost happily. There was a good deal of backbiting and complaining. But as they said, "No one's perfect. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God, and we are saved by grace."

For I am afraid when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. I am afraid when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged. (II Corinthians 12:20,21)

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