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Blessing others and avoiding the superiority complex

Blessing others and avoiding the superiority complex

In relation to speaking to others the bible says “bless and do not curse,” Romans 12:14. As God's children we're to grow in the habit of lifting people up and avoiding every attempt to put anyone down.

There is a scripture that applies to all matters in our lives though has often been used to refer to material belongings. Prosperity preachers love to bring it up. However it applies to all matters in our lives, including our time, abilities, and including our conversations with others.

In this scripture Jesus said, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you ,” Luke 6:38 (emphasis added).

Before Jesus said these famous words the previous verse tells us the main issues he was concerned with. The matters he was mainly concerned with were on how we use our mouths in relation to other people. Here is the verse:

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven,” Luke 6:37.

This does not mean we're to praise the wrong deeds or wrong lifestyles of others who are in disobedience to God's will. Those in liberal or lukewarm gospel circles assume this is so. If they're right it would make Jesus a hypocrite. This is because Jesus never missed an opportunity to judge and condemn wrong deeds and wrong lifestyles of others who were in disobedience to God's will. His biggest targets were the Pharisees and teachers of the law. They were attacked from every angle.

What Jesus meant was that we're not to make personal attacks against others. Personal attacks originate from a superiority complex that “I am better then you.”

What is a superiority complex? A dictionary definition says it is “an exaggerated feeling of being superior to others. It is a psychological defense mechanism in which feelings of superiority counter or conceal feelings of inferiority.”

A person with a superiority complex always sees himself/herself better than others (or his group better than others). He develops what may be called a judgmental personality - easily making and voicing harsh opinionated references to others.

This is easy even among us Christians. Some easily assume their salvation and walk with God is their own making. So they harshly criticize and condemn those who fail to meet their standards. There's no love, just a zero tolerance attitude towards others.

To such Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye,” Luke 6:41-42.

Remember the above verses are in the same passage given earlier about “Give, and it will be given to you...” Jesus is saying we're not to live with a superiority complex that makes us easily want to harshly point out the wrongs of others. A superiority complex has a hidden agenda of attempting to uplift oneself by demeaning or lowering others.

Jesus said each of us is not perfect, even though we may think so in our eyes. Many people, even in the body of Christ have a wrong standard of measuring perfection and holiness. Their standard is other people. They use other people to determine whether they are good or not. Some pick the worst people in society – criminals, ruthless and greedy people, some corrupt politicians, and so on. Through such comparisons they assume a self-righteous attitude.

Some Christians in the body of Christ who compare themselves with other people may pick fellow believers as their criteria. They may pick others in their own church to measure themselves in their uprightness. For instance, a believer who falls and it's found out may be a punch bag of ridicule and condemnation. In the final analysis it only serves to uplift themselves by demeaning or lowering others. Little if any empathy, grace, prayer and counsel to the believer is shown.

Others may pick other churches or denominations to measure themselves in their uprightness. Leftwing churches that preach the liberal gospel are the biggest targets in our fundamentalist circles. Some go to the extent of labeling such churches as cults, Satan worshipers.

Do you know that there are some believers in leftwing churches that will receive bigger rewards than some of us? The little grace they received of knowing and following Jesus they used it all up. Some of us the much grace we receive of knowing and walking with God we spend it crucifying others. It is not wrong pointing out errors but it's unscriptural black listing our own siblings in the body of Christ.

“A servant who knows what the master wants, but isn't prepared and doesn't carry out those instructions, will be severely punished. But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly . When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required,” Luke 12:47-48 (emphasis added).

Needless to say that leftwing churches have not been the only target among us fundamentalists. We have even had occasions of bigger fights among ourselves (some are still doing it).

That is why some outsiders call us fundies. This is a derogatory (rude) term to refer to fundamentalist evangelical groups. They know us for being professional judges over every matter. It's good in a way but within its context. Out of context it just ends up being mere expressions of a superiority complex and measuring ourselves through people, not God's word.

For example Pentecostals at one point slammed some Baptist segments that allowed consumption of alcohol in moderation. They were accused of licensing alcohol intoxication in the body of Christ. The Baptist segments then hit back accusing Pentecostals of being narrow-minded dividers who preferred to use their emotions and not their minds to understand the bible. It was like kids fighting over who's right between each other.

A mutual and healthy dialogue would be healthy compared to such egoistic ways of addressing issues. So the matter here is primarily not what to say but how to say it. It's not what you say but it's how you say it. Is it said appropriately, in the right context, with the right motives, right heart, etc?

So even among ourselves as fundamentalists there is potential to inappropriately condemn each other. In a way we use such condemnations to uplift ourselves by demeaning or lowering others. We measure ourselves by how others serve God.

Does God use this standard of measuring holiness by rating people based on other fellow humans? The answer is no. God uses his word to measure us. On Judgment Day we'll be judged based on our level of obedience to his will not on the level we compared with fellow humans. Did we obey his word in walking in love, in charity, in forgiveness, in burdened prayer for the lost, for the less privileged, and so on? Did we have a loving concern for those whose wrongs we appropriately condemned or was it out of self-righteousness?

So no matter how much praises others may say about any of us we ought to see for ourselves whether we measure up with the One to whom it matters most. His word is our mirror to see any blemishes while we avoid looking at other people to see how we measure up. That is why Jesus gave the example of a person who assumed he was good by comparing himself to his brother. He couldn't even see that he had bigger issues to deal with.

The only judgment we're to pass is that founded on right motives and detached from self-elevation motives. Jesus is our example. He was harsh were it was needed yet all his motives descended from a deep love for people. He never had a superiority complex.

There's a quote from an unknown person that says, “If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.” Abraham Lincoln is also quoted as saying, “He (a person) has the right to criticize who has the heart to help.”

There is a lot of truth in these words –just what has been covered above using scriptures. We ought to use our mouths wisely, with the mind of Christ in us switched on. It is to engage the brain before operating the mouth. This means thinking before we speak, analyzing our deeper motives, knowing the right context to speak, how to speak, and so on.

This discipline is most important when dealing with those in most contact with - family members, relatives, friends, neighbors, workmates, and so on. The next sub-topic addresses this area in overcoming a control freak nature and choosing one's battles.

Next Part Overcoming a control freak nature