9.What is the Lord’s charge to the married saints? .

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The wife is not to be separated from her husband.

If she must be separated from him she is to remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. The husband is not to divorce his wife.

Because of the days in which we are living, it seems wise to add a comment here. We find it is not uncommon for a man to leave his Christian wife and live in adultery with another woman or marry another woman. Likewise, a woman may leave her Christian husband and live in adultery with another man.

The Christian partner, not having sinned or committed any wrong, may remarry. However, if he or she wishes to do so, he or she may pray to God that the sinning partner repent and the marriage be saved.

If reconciliation appears to be undesirable or impossible, or the sinning partner has remarried in the meantime, the Christian should go to the elders of the church and explain the situation. (What we are discussing here applies only to the Lord’s disciples who are innocent of wrongdoing.)

If the elders, having sought the mind of the Lord, judge that the sinning partner indeed has broken the marriage covenant by practicing fornication or adultery, or by physical abuse to the point that the life and safety of the Christian are in danger, or has sexually abused or treated the children in a brutal manner, and the circumstances seem to indicate it, the elders should consider giving their permission for the Christian to remarry—but only to another disciple.

When we use the expression "the circumstances seen to indicate it," we are referring to the economy and culture of many modern nations. If the innocent Christian, whether man or woman, has been left with children to care for, there is a hardship on the children when the sinning partner leaves. The mother is forced by necessity to work and leave the children to other people to raise and train. Sometimes these other people are careless and do not provide a Christian upbringing for the children. Or a father may be forced to leave his children with others while he works.

Under these conditions, both the innocent partner and the children are suffering for the sins of another.

In view of the circumstances in which we are living, and after having counseled Christian people who were suffering because of the circumstances just described, we are of the opinion that the elders of the church should give serious consideration to placing their blessing on a remarriage that would make it possible for the children to be raised and trained according to the Word of God.

The preceding words are not meant to justify the flippant, godless attitude toward divorce and remarriage that exists today. Even so-called Christians have been caught up in the concept that Christ exists for our pleasure and desires that we have "fun," no matter what else takes place. Those who today are teaching and practicing the modern pleasure-loving "gospel" will stand before Christ in the near future and give a strict account for every deed, word, and thought they have practiced while living on the earth.

The saint of today who is wise will turn to the Lord in prayer and repentance; for judgment is falling on the household of God.

In the case of the remarriage of a saint, a period of time should elapse before a decision is reached by the elders of the church. Each individual situation should be held carefully before the Lord in prayer. Sometimes the original marriage can be restored and the sinning partner brought to repentance if enough prayer is offered and enough time is allowed for the Lord to work.

We would suggest six months as a minimum and a year as a maximum. Keeping people waiting longer than a year may prove to be a heartless decision in which the feelings of the people involved are not considered adequately.

It is easy for a pious individual who never has been faced with this situation to give a simplistic edict to someone whose marriage has been destroyed. The advice to go back and try again, or to wait for God to convert the offender, or to forgive the adulterous or abusive partner, may be totally unsuitable.

It is the responsibility of the church elders to refrain from making a decision until they believe they have the mind of the Lord and there is peace. But they should remain aware that the people who are awaiting their decision may be experiencing difficulty and pain. They must not prolong their decision any longer than is necessary. The eternal welfare of a soul is at issue here.

Some ministers have held that a Christian cannot remarry under any circumstances. We believe that such a decree is harsher than God requires. The teaching of the Lord Jesus concerning remarriage was not intended to bring an innocent person into a wretched existence but to prevent promiscuity.

It is the responsibility of the elders to make a godly judgment. They are not expected to blindly follow the letter of the Word independently of the circumstances. Man was not made for the divorce laws, the divorce laws were made for man.

May we add that "incompatibility" is not a scriptural grounds for divorce. More often than not, it appears, people marry who are very different in personality and strong-willed. The marriage may last for several decades and prove to be a severe test of the character of each person. The two may never be compatible, but God will bless them because they fear Him and have been faithful to one another. They are not to separate because they are "unhappy."

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