17. THE DISEMBODIED SAINT.
17. THE DISEMBODIED SAINT.
Where, dear angels—where do you carry my soul—which just left its dying body? "Commissioned from your Father's throne, we come to carry you safe into his immediate presence." What dismal howling is that I hear behind us?
"It is the last yells of hell's old lion, at your safe escape." Ah! where am I now? What wonders rise around me! what fragrance meets me from the mountains of myrrh, from the hills of frankincense! I hear the voice of my Beloved! Sacred guardians—let me leave you, and fly into his arms!
Am I the one who lately lay tumbling and tossing on a deathbed—who now walks in beds of roses, and on banks of bliss? Am I the one who a little while ago, had weeping friends around his bed—who now am surrounded with angelic song, entranced with heavenly harmony, and ravished with delights? Am I the one who lately lay struggling with the pangs, and trembling at the approach of death—who now am above the reach of fear, and stroke of death?
But, O Majesty of heaven! I blush at my very entrance into your courts, that I have been such a stranger here. What precious time have I wasted on toys and trifles, and despised the joy of angels and the work of heaven! Where are all the things of time now, which could once challenge God, for the possession of my heart? Why did not your glorious being feast my meditations?
Why did not your love attract, constrain mine? Why did not the joys of heaven drown the fleeting joys, and dissipate the imaginary sorrows of the world? Why did I prostitute the temple of my soul to the idols of time? Why did I permit the world and self a place in that temple which the Godhead is to inhabit forever?
There are none before the throne but supreme lovers of God, a name I dare not claim; then, let me retire to the outmost confines of the land of bliss, as unworthy to be nearer. Ah! no! At your throne I will dwell forever, and glow in ardors, and dissolve in love. And the sacred spark, which sin and Satan, the world and self, smothered while below—shall burn a flame intense and strong through everlasting day!