Difference between revisions of "Volume III. The Mother CHAPTER 2."

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Beginning Right

This was the first serious conversation that had taken place between Mr. and Mrs. Hartley on the subject of the education of their child. As their thoughts became more and more steadily directed to the subject, they saw their duty clearer and clearer. At least, such was the case with Mrs. Hartley, for her's was the task of making the first impressionsupon her child's mind — the first and most lasting impressions. Upon the character of the mother depends, almost entirely, the future character of the child. No matter how wise and good the father may be, his influence will do but little — if opposed to that of an injudicious mother. Take ten instances where men have risen from humble stations into eminence — and nine of these at least will be found the result of a mother's influence. Her love is special; it is more concentrated — and the more we love an object, the more accurate becomes our perception of the means of benefitting that object.

The father is, usually, all absorbed in the pursuit of a business or profession by which to secure the temporal good of his family, and has little time, and too often less inclination to devote himself to his children. When he retires into his family, his mind seeks rest from the over excitements of the day, and he is unprepared to give to his children judicious instruction, or to administer wise correction. He cannot adopt a system, and regularly carry it out, because he is with them only for a short time each day, and cannot know theircharacters thoroughly, nor the means that best react upon and keep their evils quiescent. Upon the mother devolves, therefore, of necessity, the high and important duty ofmolding the characters of her children — of impressing them for good or evil — of giving them true strength for their trials in after life.

Sensibly did Mrs. Hartley feel this. The path of duty lay clearly defined before her, and she shrunk not from walking therein. Love for her child, and high Christian principles, were her prompters — those Christian principles were a reverence for God, and a purified love of the neighbor. It was a religion that showed itself less in external acts of piety (though these were never omitted) than in a holy and blameless life — an upright walk and a chaste lifestyle. Her charity consisted in the faithful performance of all known duties — the filling up of her measure of usefulness in the sphere where Providence had placed her.

Her first efforts with her child, as reason began to dawn, were the best a mother can use. She sought to impress upon the mind of her little Marien one idea. Among the first words she taught her to say, were, "Good God in Heaven." And she always uttered these words with a quiet, thoughtful face, and pointed upwards. Soon, the answer to "Who loves little Marien?" would be "Papa." "Who else?" "Mamma." "Who else?" "Good God in Heaven."

At every step she endeavored to fix more deeply this impression. The lisped prayer on retiring to bed was never omitted.

The next effort she made was to counteract the selfish tendency of the child. She began with teaching her that she must love God — and the second step was to cause her to regard the good of others.

If her husband, from the very nature of his occupation, could not aid her much in the practical application of right means, he was ever ready to confer with her, and to aid her in discovering these means. They thought much, and conversed much together upon the subject.

"The hardest thing I have to do, is to cause Marien to obey me," said Mrs. Hartley, as they sat conversing about their child, one evening after she had been put to bed.

"No doubt of that," replied her husband. "And yet obedience is, of all things, most necessary. In the young mind must be formed vessels into which principles of action that are to govern in manhood, can flow. Obedience to parents forms in the mind vessels that become recipients of obedience to civil laws, without which all social order would be destroyed — and, by an easy process, obedience to law changes, as the mind rises into higher and better states, into obedience to divine laws. Obedience to these laws involves all the rest. A good Christian is of necessity a good citizen. He does not obey the laws as penal enactments, but because they are founded upon a just regard to the good of the whole. From this view of the subject, may be seen the importance of securing the implicit obedience of our children. We cannot hope to make this so perfect that they will always regard our injunctions when absent; but the consciousness that every act of disobedience, if known, will meet with some correction, cannot fail to have a restraining effect, and will cause civil laws to be obeyed until the mind is so far elevated as to observe them, from a regard to their sacredness as means of securing the good of the whole."

"This view of the subject," remarked Mrs. Hartley, "causes me to feel, more than I have yet felt, the necessity of obedience in children. I did not see its important bearing uponsocial order before — nor how it was the only means of leading our children to what is so much desired, obedience to divine laws, when they become responsible beings."

The three great things to attain, as seeming of most importance to Mrs. Hartley, in the education of her child, were to impress fervently and truly upon her mind a just idea of God; to give her an unselfish regard for her neighbor; and to insure perfect obedience. To do all this was a great work, and hard, almost impossible she often felt, to accomplish. But she strove unweariedly after the attainment of her end — too unweariedly, I had almost said — for she interfered with the freedom of her child — checked too often its innocent outbursts of exuberant feeling — saw too much — and let be seen too fully by her child, the bonds with which she sought to hold her. The effect was, consequently, bad, for the rebound of her young spirits, when away from her mother, were too strong. Instead of being happiest with her mother — she was happiest when she could escape from her presence.

Mrs. Hartley saw all this, and it grieved her deeply. But the cause she did not clearly perceive. Before, however, the evils of an over-rigid system had progressed too far, the birth of a second child divided her care and affection, and gave to Marien a real something which she could love understandingly.