View source for Things Which Discourage Kindness

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<p>It is well always to be optimistic about people. Jesus was. He never gave anybody up as hopeless. Evil returned by those who received His kindness, never checked nor lessened the flow of kindness in Him. The fountain of love in Him was not dried up by the bitterest enmities and persecutions. The person who wronged Him, was the very one He sought the earliest opportunity to befriend. When a man had proved unworthy, taking advantage of His compassion and unselfishness, and returning only ingratitude and injury, the next one who came with his needs did not find the heart of the Master closed, or the flow of affection checked—but met as tender love as if that great heart had never received a hurt. In all our Lord's dealings with others, we find this abiding love, with exhaustless patience, sympathy, hope and help.<br><br>
  The Master would have all His followers like Him in this. He has taught us that we are to love as He loved. "As I have loved you," the new commandment runs. We are to show to others the same forgiveness that we ask from God for ourselves. We are to love our enemies—as Jesus loved His enemies. When others use us despitefully, we are to pray for them, instead of resenting their unkindness and cherishing bitterness toward them in our heart.<br><br>
  This is one point at which we need to keep most careful watch over our own life. We are naturally disposed to resent wrongs done to us, and to be affected in our own disposition by the treatment we receive from others. When we have denied ourselves and made sacrifices to help another, and he shows no appreciation, no gratitude, the danger is that the warmth of our love shall be chilled, and the flow of our kindness checked.<br><br>
  The old teaching was that one should forgive another three times. Peter thought he was taking a great stride forward, when he suggested that a Christian should forgive seven times. But Jesus set the standard far beyond Peter's, saying, "Not seven times—but seventy times seven." That is, forgiveness is to be <em>exhaustless</em>. We are never to weary of exercising it. However often one may repeat his offence against us, we are still to be ready to forgive and forgive. The same is true of patience, of compassion, of kindness, of all goodness. The love in our heart is to be unfailing, like a spring of water which flows continuously.<br><br>
  Yet there are many things which discourage kindness, which make the kindly disposed, to restrain their gentle impulses and withhold their hand from ministry. <em>Ingratitude </em>is too common. Too often those we help, even at much cost to ourselves, prove unworthy. Nothing comes of our efforts to do them good. They promise to do better—but soon are back again in the old paths. They take our favors and enjoy our gifts—and pay us with neglect or injustice. Too frequently those for whom we have done the most, make the smallest return. It is easy in such experience to conclude that it is not worth while to continue to show favors or to deny ourselves to do others good, since nothing comes of it—nothing but disappointment.<br><br>
  In the matter of helping with money, there is special discouragement. There are people who are ready always to assist others in time of need. But perhaps no other form of kindness proves quite so unsatisfactory as this. In the fewest cases do gifts of money bring back a return of gratitude. The acceptance of such help seems to have a sinister influence upon the feelings. Not many retain afterward as close friends, those to whom they have given financial assistance. Many godly men who begin dispensing money with a free hand, truly interested in other's troubles and eager to assist them, meet with such discouragement in the effect of their gifts upon those who receive them, that the fountains of their charity are at last dried up. Not only are they led to decline to give further help to those who have proved so ungrateful—but, as a consequence, they harden themselves against all such appeals for help in the future. As a result, when really worthy objects of benevolence are presented to them, there is no answer of sympathy.<br><br>
  These are suggestions of things which discourage kindness and check the flow of benevolence. In ancient times in the East, a common practice among tribes at war was to fill up each other's wells. Every well thus rendered useless was a public blessing destroyed. Similar crime against humanity is it—when a well of kindness in a heart is stopped. The world's need and sorrow are the losers. The thirsty come to drink where before their need had been satisfied, and are disappointed.<br><br>
  But the most serious consequence, is in the harm which is done to the people themselves, whose love and compassion are thus restrained. One of the great problems of Christian living, is to keep the heart gentle and sweet amid all the world's trying experiences. Nothing worse could happen to anyone, than that he should become cold toward human suffering, or bitter toward human infirmity and failure.<br><br>
  Jesus gave us in His own blessed life the example of One who lived all His years amid ingratitude and enmity, and yet never lost the sweetness out of His spirit. He poured out love, and men rejected it. He scattered kindnesses today, which tomorrow were forgotten. He helped people in sorest need and distress, and they turned about and joined His maligners. He came to save His nation, and they nailed Him on a cross. Yet amid all this rejection of His love, this rewarding of good with evil, of love with hate—the heart of Jesus never lost a trace of its gentleness and compassion. He was just as ready to help a needy one on the last day of His life—as He was the day He set out to begin His public ministry. He wrought a miracle of healing on an enemy, on the night of His betrayal; and when being fastened on His cross—<em>he prayed for the men who were driving the nails through His hands!</em><br><br>
  Love is always the divine answer to human sin. The answer to the crucifying of the Son of God, was redemption. So love, more love, should be our answer to all injury, to all wrong, to all injustice and cruelty, to all ingratitude. No evil returned for our good, should ever be permitted to discourage us in the doing of good.<br><br>
  Whatever failure there may seem to be in our ministry of kindness, through the shutting of lives against it, our heart should never lose any of its compassion and yearning. One writes of finding a fresh water spring close beside the sea. Twice every twenty four hours the tides rolled over it, burying it deep under their brackish floods. But when the bitter waters rolled out again, the spring was found as fresh as before, with no taint of the salt sea in its sweet stream. So should it be, with the heart of love. When the tides of unkindness, injustice, or cruelty have swept over it, it should emerge unembittered, patient, long suffering, and meek, rich still, in its generous thought and feeling, and ready for any new service for which there may be opportunity tomorrow.<br><br>
  That is one of the great lessons, which Jesus would teach us. The secret of such a life is to have and ever to keep in us—the heart of a little child. Instead of allowing our spirit to grow bitter when our kindness has been abused, when our love has been repaid with hate, we should take the first opportunity to repeat the kindness and the love, thus overcoming evil with good. The Master said, "Love your enemies, and pray for those who despitefully use you, and persecute you." That is, if you have an enemy, one in whose breast is bitterness toward you—he is the very man you are to love. If anyone has used you badly today, he is the very person you are to pray for tonight when you bow before God.<br><br>
  Someone may say that this is impossible, that no love can endure rejection and unrequiting day after day, and lose none of its warmth; that no kindness can meet unkindness, continually, and yet keep all its warmth and generosity undiminished. But Paul tells that love suffers long and is kind, seeks not its own, is not provoked, takes no account of evil, bears all things, endures all things, never fails. Christian love is not an earth-born affection—it is born out of heaven, out of God's own heart. Hence it is immortal, its life is inextinguishable, and it cannot perish.
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