View source for Domestic and Culinary Affairs

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A brief allusion has already been made to&nbsp;<em>domestic duties</em>. But their importance requires some more  particular reference. At the outset, it may be as well to notice a singular —  but very prevalent error, which has, strangely enough, crept into the minds of  a great many, especially those who have acquired some&nbsp;<em>literary</em><em>&nbsp;</em>taste, and have  imbibed the modes of thinking of a certain&nbsp;<em>philosophical school</em><em>&nbsp;</em>of literary ladies. This error lies in the notion that there is  something in domestic duties, that, if not actually&nbsp;<em>degrading</em><em>&nbsp;</em>to a refined and  intelligent woman, is rather below the plane of her true social sphere. The  consequence is, that to housekeepers, and nurses, and cooks, are given up, not  only the actual doing of all that pertains to the household economy; but their  intelligence, such as it is, and their government, pervade the whole — instead  of the intelligence and government of the true mistress and head of the family.<br><br>
Men who not only see — but deeply feel, the evils arising from this  error, and who strongly condemn it, are accused of wishing to&nbsp;<em>degrade</em><em>&nbsp;</em>woman into the  condition of a<em> mere household drudge</em>. But this is altogether a false  issue. A household drudge, and a woman who rightly governs in her own family —  are very different. But it is not to be concealed that no woman can properly  govern in her family — and lead&nbsp;<em>a life of idleness</em>. The one is  incompatible with the other. She can no more do it than a man can carry on his  business successfully, without industry and attention. To prepare himself to do  this, a man has, early in life, to spend years in attaining to a full and  practical knowledge of that calling in life by which he expects to sustain  himself and all who may be dependent on him; and the same must be true of every  woman. Her&nbsp;<em>sphere of use</em> is in the&nbsp;<em>domestic</em><em>&nbsp;</em>and&nbsp;<em>home</em><em>&nbsp;</em>circle, and she must  pass through a like course of preparation, or she will be no more able to  discharge her duties efficiently, when the time comes for her to assume them —  than he would be to discharge his duties, if he were alike neglectful.<br><br>
The simplest mode of viewing this matter may be, perhaps, in a  comparison of what a man has to do in&nbsp;<em>business</em>, and a woman at&nbsp;<em>home</em>&nbsp;— and to decide whether the one is more  burdensome and less honourable than the other. We will take a storekeeper, for  instance — a grocer or a dry goods dealer. He has served, in the first place,  an apprenticeship at the business, industriously working with his hands, as  well as with his mind, for one, two, three, or four years. At length, he goes  into business for himself, and, after a few years, takes a wife, and makes her  the mistress of his household. His business, we will suppose to be successful.  This being the case, we know that he must<em> diligently</em><em>&nbsp;</em>attend to it, and give it the&nbsp;<em>strength</em><em>&nbsp;</em>of his very best thoughts. Early in the morning, he goes to his store,  and there he remains through the day, except when called out on business, or  during a brief intermission of his duties for dinner. He stands at his counter,  and serves out his goods to his customers; he looks over his accounts, and sees  that all is done correctly; he carefully watches the markets, in order to buy  with safety. In fact, all the powers of his mind and body are devoted to his  business. He knows that there is no other way of success. If he were to pause  to take his&nbsp;<em>ease</em>, or to think about the&nbsp;<em>drudgery</em><em>&nbsp;</em>of his life — he  knows too well that all would be in danger — that he would be unable to secure,  for those best beloved by him, the&nbsp;<em>comforts</em><em>&nbsp;</em>he now brings into his household.<br><br>
Now, is it requiring too much of the wife of such a man — is it  degrading her into a household drudge — to ask her to see that, when he comes  home wearied from his store, his meals are in time, and well and healthily  cooked? — to ask her to think of his comfort, and to even work some with her  hands to secure for him this comfort, if it can be done in no other way? Does  she degrade herself by consulting his appetite, for instance, and seeking to  gratify him by having something on the table that she knows will please him? or  by seeing that&nbsp;<em>order</em><em>&nbsp;</em>and&nbsp;<em>comfort</em><em>&nbsp;</em>are in all parts of her household? We cannot believe that any woman  truly loves her husband, who leaves all these matters to the cook or the  housekeeper. What do they know of his peculiar tastes, or, knowing, care about  them? They do their part for&nbsp;<em>hire</em>; but she should do her part for&nbsp;<em>love</em>&nbsp;— and love is ever seeking some new  mode of blessing its object.<br><br>
How there is anything more degrading in making up and baking a loaf of  bread, for instance, or in thinking about and making a dinner — than in selling  goods over the counter — is something inconceivable to us. False, indeed, are  her ideas of life, who can see any degrading distinctions here. In matters of  this kind, our modern ladies have reached a degree of&nbsp;<em>refinement</em><em>&nbsp;</em>far in advance of the  ladies of former times, whose chief pride consisted in their being&nbsp;<em>thoroughly acquainted with every branch of household economy.</em><em>&nbsp;</em>Nor were they less intelligent than those of the present day, who eschew  these things as&nbsp;<em>below</em><em>&nbsp;</em>them.<br><br>
In order that she may be qualified to act well her part in life, a young  lady should acquire a thorough knowledge of all&nbsp;<em>domestic</em><em>&nbsp;</em>and&nbsp;<em>culinary</em><em>&nbsp;</em>affairs, so that,  even if she should never be required by circumstances to go into the kitchen to  cook a dinner, she will yet be able to give directions how to do it, and know  when it is properly done. No one knows what a day may bring forth. Life is a  scene of&nbsp;<em>perpetual changes</em>. We have known  ladies who have been raised in entire freedom from labour, suddenly reduced to  poverty, and compelled, for a time, to do what might well be called&nbsp;<em>household drudgery</em>, or see their husbands and children subjected to  the severest privations. And even where no such reverse — but only a change  from one section of the country to another, has taken place, the necessity for  a<em>&nbsp;</em><em>practical knowledge</em><em>&nbsp;</em>of everything pertaining to housekeeping is frequently found to exist.<br><br>
A very beautiful and delicately-raised girl was married, not long ago,  to a young man on the eve of his departure, with a stock of goods, to a small  but thriving town in the west. Her parents were in moderate circumstances; but  she was their only daughter, and they had raised her most tenderly. Every  dollar that could be spared, was expended on her education. The highest  accomplishments were sought for her. At the time of her marriage, she was a  young, slender, graceful creature, who looked as if time had never showered  anything but blossoms on her head. She could dance with the grace of a fairy,  perform with great skill upon the piano, harp, or guitar, and sing exquisitely.  But she knew as little about&nbsp;<em>housekeeping</em><em>&nbsp;</em>as a boy just let loose from school.<br><br>
A few weeks after their marriage, the young couple started for their new  home in the west. On arriving there, they found a little village of three or  four hundred inhabitants, in which was a tavern, kept by a drunken Irishman. At  this house they were compelled to stay for two or three weeks, until their furniture  arrived. There was no other boarding-place in the village. By the time their  furniture was received, they had rented the only vacant house there was. This  was a small frame tenement, containing four rooms, two below and two above. It  stood alone, on the outskirts of the village. Outside, all was cheerless  enough. The yard contained about an eighth of an acre, and was enclosed by a  post and rail fence. There was upon it no tree nor shrub; but plenty of rubbish  from the house, which had just been built. Inside, everything was as meagre and  common as could well be. There were windows — but no shutters; rooms — but no  closets; walls — but no paper — not even whitewash. All was as brown and coarse  as when it came from the hands of the builder. The young bride shed many tears  in prospect of being compelled to occupy so miserable and lonely a place, and  the young husband was made to feel as wretched as could well be, in  consequence.<br><br>
At length their furniture arrived; but there were no upholsterers to  make and put down the carpets. Nor could anybody, with the ability to ply a  needle, be obtained, in the village, to do the work. After various efforts and  inquiries on the subject, the bride was coolly told by a plain-spoken matron,  that she guessed she would have to make her carpet herself, adding,  &quot;People in these parts, have to help themselves.&quot; The making and  putting down of carpets was more serious work than she had been used to, or  ever thought of doing. But it was out of the question to think of living on bare  floors; so, after taking a good hearty cry to herself, she went to work, and,  after a time of steady application, got the carpets made and tacked down. It is  not to be denied that some of the figures were a long ways from matching, and  that a number of rough places in the seams attested the young lady's lack of  skill in such matters. But the work was done, after a fashion, and that was a  good deal. The bedsteads were then put up, the furniture arranged, and the  young couple took possession of their new home.<br><br>
But here a new and undreamed-of difficulty arose. A&nbsp;<em>servant</em><em>&nbsp;</em>could not be had for  love nor money. There was not a woman in the village who had any help, unless  she were fortunate enough to have a grown-up daughter, a niece, or an unmarried  sister living with her.<br><br>
&quot;What am I to do?&quot; asked the bride in despair, after she fully  understood the disabilities with which&nbsp;<em>housekeeping</em><em>&nbsp;</em>was to be attended. &quot;I can't cook and do all the work about the  house. I never cooked a meal in my life!&quot;<br><br>
&quot;We can go back to the tavern and continue boarding, I  suppose,&quot; said the young husband, uttering what he did with great  reluctance; for the accommodations at the tavern were little better than no  accommodations at all.<br><br>
&quot;I wouldn't be paid to stay another night in that place,&quot; was  the quick reply. &quot;The worst fare we can have here, will be better than  going back to that wretched place!&quot;<br><br>
&quot;I fully agree with you,&quot; said the husband. &quot;Bread and  water here, would be preferable to the richest food there. Try and do the best  you can, and I will help you all I know how. It would be a pity, it seems to  me, if two young people, with health, and the means of living as we have —  could not take care of themselves.&quot;<br><br>
So it seemed to the young wife; but, then, how was she to do it all? She  could make a&nbsp;<em>cup of tea</em>&nbsp;— but that was about the most she could do. As to baking a loaf of  bread, she knew no more about doing it than if she had never heard of bread;  and the cooking of meat, or the making of pies or puddings, were mysteries of  the culinary art far beyond her comprehension.<br><br>
The attempt to buy bread for the first meal proved unavailing. There was  no baker yet in the village. The effort to beg or borrow was more successful.  The young man called in at the house of their nearest neighbour, and frankly  stated his difficulty. The woman to whom he applied understood the position of  the young couple in a moment. She was of the better sort, and not only supplied  them with a couple of large fresh loaves of good bread — but promised to step  over in the morning, and give the&nbsp;<em>inexperienced bride</em><em>&nbsp;</em>some little instruction in&nbsp;<em>household affairs</em>. She was as good as  her word, and her young scholar was quite an apt one. The situation in which  the latter found herself so unexpectedly placed, caused her to reflect upon and  to be&nbsp;<em>ashamed of her deficiencies</em>. She had spent years  in the acquirement of various branches of information, many of them little  better than useless; but not one of them was now available in this her first  attempt in life. Her education had been confined almost entirely to the&nbsp;<em>ornamental</em>&nbsp;— while the&nbsp;<em>useful</em><em>&nbsp;</em>had been totally  neglected. She had married, and commenced the world with her husband.&nbsp;<em>He</em><em>&nbsp;</em>was fully prepared to  do his part — but&nbsp;<em>she</em><em>&nbsp;</em>was&nbsp;<em>entirely deficient</em><em>&nbsp;</em>in ability to do hers. But she had the merit of possessing a fair  proportion of common sense; had some quickness of perception; and, being  willing to do the best she could, was not long, under the kind instruction of  her neighbour, in acquiring a very fair knowledge of housekeeping. For six  months, she did all her own cooking, baking, washing, and ironing. There was no  help for her; unless she did it — it would have to remain undone. After that,  she was fortunate enough to obtain a good servant, brought from the East by her  husband, when he went there to purchase goods.<br><br>
A little previous instruction in housekeeping affairs would have saved  this person from a good deal of mortification, trouble, and perplexity!<br><br>
A friend of ours, remarkable for his strong good sense, married a very&nbsp;<em>accomplished</em><em>&nbsp;</em>and&nbsp;<em>fashionable</em><em>&nbsp;</em>young lady —  attracted more by her&nbsp;<em>beauty</em><em>&nbsp;</em>and&nbsp;<em>accomplishments</em> than by anything  else. In this, it must be owned that his strong good sense did not seem very  apparent. His wife, however, proved to be a very excellent companion, and was  deeply attached to him, though she still loved company, and spent more time&nbsp;<em>abroad</em><em>&nbsp;</em>than he exactly  approved. But, as his income was good, and his house furnished with a full  supply of servants, he was not aware of any abridgments of comfort on this  account, and he therefore made no objection to it.<br><br>
One day, some few months after his marriage, our friend, on coming home  to dinner, saw no appearance of his usual meal — but found his wife in great  trouble instead.<br><br>
&quot;What's the matter?&quot; he asked.<br><br>
&quot;Nancy  went off at ten o'clock this morning,&quot; replied his wife, &quot;and the  chamber-maid knows no more about cooking a dinner than the man in the  moon!&quot;<br><br>
&quot;Couldn't she have done it under your direction?&quot; inquired the  husband, very coolly.<br><br>
&quot;Under&nbsp;<em>my</em><em>&nbsp;</em>direction? Goodness! I would like to see a dinner cooked under&nbsp;<em>my</em><em>&nbsp;</em>direction!&quot;<br><br>
&quot;Why so?&quot; asked the husband in surprise. &quot;You certainly  do not mean that you cannot cook a dinner.&quot;<br><br>
&quot;I certainly do,&quot; replied his wife. &quot;How would&nbsp;<em>I</em>&nbsp;know anything about cooking?&quot;<br><br>
The husband was silent — but his look of astonishment perplexed and  worried his wife.<br><br>
&quot;You look very much surprised,&quot; she said, after a moment or  two had elapsed.<br><br>
&quot;And so I am,&quot; he answered, &quot;as much surprised as I would  be at finding the&nbsp;<em>captain</em><em>&nbsp;</em>of one of my ships unacquainted with navigation! Don't know how to cook,  and the<em> mistress</em><em>&nbsp;</em>of a family! Jane, if there is a&nbsp;<em>cooking school</em><em>&nbsp;</em>anywhere in the city,  go to it, and&nbsp;<em>complete your education</em>, for it is&nbsp;<em>deficient</em><em>&nbsp;</em>in a very important  particular!&quot;<br><br>
The wife was hurt and offended at the words and manner of her husband;  but she soon got over this. The next time the cook went away, there was no  trouble about the dinner.<br><br>
Under ordinary circumstances, a woman whose husband enjoys a moderate  income has no need to do much in the way of cooking; but as most of the  servants to be obtained, know very little about this very important branch of  household economy, it is absolutely necessary that the mistress of a family  should herself be able to give the most particular directions on the subject —  should, in fact, know how to cook every dish ordinarily served upon the table.<br><br>
But there are occasions when to no second hand should be delegated the  task of preparing certain articles of food. We now allude to&nbsp;<em>sickness</em>. No hand but the hand of a wife should prepare the food of her husband  when he is sick; and no hand but the hand of a mother, the food of her child. A  remembrance of the badly-prepared, tasteless food, which almost every woman has  had served to her, in sickness, from her own cook, will be felt as a sufficient  reason for this declaration. To cook for the sick requires an<em> experienced</em><em>&nbsp;</em>hand. A woman who knows nothing at all about cooking will fail entirely  in the attempt, and if her husband is sick, he will be fortunate, indeed, if he  can take more than a few spoonfuls of the tea, or a few morsels of the toast,  which is brought to his bedside as he begins to convalesce.<br><br>
If for no other purpose — a young lady should learn the art of cooking,  in order that she may be able to prepare the food of her parents, her brother,  her sister; or, at some future time, the food of her husband, when sick. This  may seem a little matter. But no one who has been sick will think it so.<br><br>
This subject is one that admits of a great deal more being said on it,  than we have brought forward. Enough to cause every thinking young woman to  reflect seriously on its importance, has, however, been introduced. It must not  be inferred that we would shut every woman up, a&nbsp;<em>prisoner</em><em>&nbsp;</em>in her house, and  cause her to devote every hour of her time to&nbsp;<em>domestic</em><em>&nbsp;</em>duties. All we  contend for is, that a woman should&nbsp;<em>govern</em><em>&nbsp;</em>in her household — as fully as a man governs in his store, office,  counting-room, manufactory, or workshop; and that, in order to do this, she  should qualify herself&nbsp;<em>beforehand</em><em>&nbsp;</em>for her particular duties, as he has to qualify himself for his.
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